Follow head or heart?

[Sammyjane13]

Hello. We are a couple in our early 50’s and are about to be grandparents and want to move closer to our daughter(4hrs drive away)to be able to have a part in our grandchild’s life. We love our home but really do not like the area we live in. We should have moved 5yrs ago really. We have £80000 left on our mortgage and if we moved to a closer and nicer area to our daughter we would be increasing our mortgage to about £160,000 and increase the term to 19years. My heart says yes do it , life’s to short not to take risks and move to a better area and lifestyle outcomes but my head says no we are taking on a higher mortgage & to stay where we are and be mortgage free in 10 years but still be in an area we are not happy with.
would you follow your heart or head?
Grateful for anyones input or similar experiences. Thank you

She lives in Hertfordshire and yes is keen for us to be closer. We have been talking for a few years about moving area but stupidly never did it and worried we may have missed the boat now, but hearing about our first grandchild has seemed to haven given us a kick up ars* to do something

Just had a look at Hertfordshire. It looks a great county. Great access to London and I doubt you'd get bored. I pressume you have checked to see if the pay is better in the area?

I had a look at housing in the £250k region and there is plenty that are perfectly acceptable and even 👌 I'd be doing it, especially if you say where you are now is grim.

Hertfordshire is really expensive. The cheapest place close to Hertfordshire would be Luton, not a great area but some nicer bits. We bought there when we were commuting into London, the cheapest nearest place we could find at the time.

Thank you ,I appreciate your thoughts

What is your house worth now, and what property are you trying to buy?

Have you considered putting yourself forward as a domestic couple in Hertfordshire. That way you can live in and mitigate all the costs of housing. It is an alternative way to go about it.

Take a look here for inspiration
https://www.edenprivatestaff.com/what-we-do/professional-domestic-couples/?_gl=1nfivum_up*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw8diwBhAbEiwA7i_sJdhLvLxbekbcjhnxRQ0ES2DHLg0GzJolg1wNgSsUD5MbGgpRwJE-iRoCr64QAvD_BwE

Thank you ,I appreciate your thoughts

I don’t see this as head / heart. The purpose of work and money is to enable you to live the life that suits you, within reason and budget etc.

Of course it makes sense to be closer to your Dd if that is what you both want and you can make it work financially.

1.5 hours is a hugely different driving journey than 4 hours, and makes day trips easy.

Why spend the next 30-35 years in an area you don’t enjoy?

Talk to a mortgage broker and do it! And you absolutely can get mortgages into retirement. Making sure that you can manage your retirement income and expenditure ok.

It is possible, we just got a twenty year mortgage, both in our fifties, first time buyers. We plan on overpaying and it being paid off in 10 years as we work but can access our pensions too

As others have said you won't be playing a huge part in your grandchild's life as 1.5 hours drive is still a long way. If you were downsizing and being mortgage free I would say go for it, but downsizing and having a larger mortgage in your early 50s is a big risk.

What would happen if one of you became long term sick, would you cope on one wage?

How likely is it that you would be able to overpay on the mortgage to pay it off before the 19 years?

Do you have savings to fall back on? Any private pensions you could use?

We live 1.5 - 2 hours away from grandparents currently and we tend to only see them at school holidays and obviously for special occasions. We can do a half way meet up more easily too. Grandparents in turn live approx 4 hours away from the other grandchildren and they visit for similar amounts of time but have to do a stop over. On that basis I’d honestly say stay where you are.

A PP also asked what your daughter’s plans were. You don’t want to move closer only for them to move out of the area for a better quality of life or a job offer. Do you have any other family you’d be moving away from?

Of course you can get a 19 year mortgage at age 50. There are lenders that go up to 80+ now.

Why wouldn't they? Once someone has their pension, their income is secure as can be - it can't be lost due to illness, redundancy etc . They're in healthcare and 50 something. They might have a pension they can start drawing in a few years time if need be.

How much would a flat be in your daughter’s area?

1hr 30 is still quite a way, if you were moving to the same town I'd say go for it no hesitations

How often do you think you would spend with grandchild? Bear in mind when they go to school it usually all changes, our son is 9 and my Mum lives about 1hr 50 min drive away. He normally sees Nanny in the school holidays so every 6 weeks.

When he's 16 we're planning on moving up there so we're only about a 20 minute drive from them

This! A friend of mine had children 1hr apart on the south coast. They bought a house to retire to smack in the middle…the day they got the keys one of them announced they were emigrating to Australia. Had they known they’d have moved much closer to their daughter.