My Partner and I have good jobs but calculating finances shows we can't afford a baby and live

[TheMightySoup]

Hello everyone,

Little introduction my Fiance and I are looking to have a baby in the next couple of years and we have been doing some money calculations based on our Salaries, currently 30k and 22k (should go up prior to childbirth) Which sounds like a lot but once we take out mortgage, expenses etc, we only have less than £500 left, based on my Fiance being on the SMP payments.

We are very new to this, very much started our in depth discussion of when to have a child this weekend. We don't know what we do and don't qualify for but we know that the ~£600 a month is a huge difference compared to my Fiancé's salary

I don't make a lot of money right now as I am on an apprenticeship scheme and my company are a little cheap. And I want to be able to make more because we just don't know what to do. Where we live has gotten really expensive all of a sudden.

I am just looking for some guidance and or help as I am very new to this and don't understand it.

No. But the OP and partner are still young, and they are able to increase their income in the next couple of years. It is sensible to wait for a couple of years while they do that.
Im well aware that people with far smaller incomes have children. They may also have help from benefits towards their rent, family help for childcare so they’re not paying full time nursery fees etc. It’s impossible to compare. I’m also sure that many of those who bring children on a lot less money would rather have more money. So if you know your income is going to increase substantially in the next 2 years, why not wait until that’s happened and you’ve got a bit more of a safety net?

And for goodness sake factor in making pension contributions for her if she takes an extended break to raise the child.

Salaries are on the low side , but seems there is scope for progression . I’d say you will be just fine.

I was lucky that I have a job where I got a couple of months full pay then a couple of months half pay before the drop to statutory mat pay. I’ve just gone back to work after my second child, I saved up 6 months of what I thought were my ‘outgoings’ before mat leave and despite having a decent mat pay it was still a struggle and I have a bit of credit card debt as a result so I’d definitely say work out what your outgoings are that you’d need to cover whilst on mat leave and add some extra on and have that in savings before you think about it.

(My first child was born at the end of 2020, we were both key workers and we’d had several holidays cancelled which were refunded and we did nothing to spend money on for about 8 months so we had a really good amount of savings, we were also in lockdown for the first 4 months of mat leave so other than a hot chocolate and cake from a local cafe I used to walk to I hardly spent any money on baby groups, activities, etc so mat leave wasn’t really a struggle from a financial point of view the first time around).

Just start saving now OP, you’re being sensible but I think you both will be fine. You’re lucky that you’ll have some childcare provision at the end of maternity leave. You can both do it

You are very wise to think about this ahead of time OP

Is there any scope for your partner to increase their salary (I know you said yours will increase once you complete your apprenticeship- absolutely think you are right to complete prior to children)

Have you gone through your finances with a fine toothed comb? (could even post a break down on here, there are some very financially savvy mumsnetters)

Is there any option to earn a bit extra (through overtime/ second job/ side hustle) for someone?

Have you got any debt to clear?

I understand you are in a predicament due to health concerns- I had a friend in a similar boat to you. They saved up what they could in advance (he got an evening job) and although it's hard, they made it work. They have both continued to study and upped their salaries which has significantly improved their situation (they paid for full time childcare)

All people will tell you is to retrain. As a joint income it isn't bad because you are joint. Lots of people either change hours to working weekends or nights to reduce childcare costs or cut hours down.

MN is a very privileged place at times and I don't think you will get much support from this thread

I don't think those wages would qualify you for universal credit, even when your partner is on SMP.

Couples allowance £578.82
First child £269.58
Total £848.40

Wages £2382 (including SMP after first 6 weeks)
Work allowance £631 (mortgage, not rent)
Wages taken into consideration: £1751
Deduction @55% £963

You can claim child benefit once child is born

Harsh fact- your salaries are low. We in the U.K. are conditioned to think these figures are decent, they aren’t.

Sounds like you’re a responsible couple who will make great plans ahead of time.

Calculate your likely take home pay after your apprenticeship is complete, plus the SMP.

Try to live on this budget from now on and save the remainder into the baby fund.

if you can manage it, you’ll know you’re good to go when you’re new job is up and running.

Most people get through Mat leave by saving before hand. I was the higher earner by a long way when we had our first, and just had to use savings to allow me to stay off for a year. Second time round my husband was on a higher wage and my maternity pay policy was better too so we didn't use as much savings to boost it.

I wouldn't have a baby until I had a decent buffer of savings, at least 5-10k. As PP have said you need to plan for costs once mat leave is over too. Our first cost us approx 550 a month part time in nursery, and once the second came along we now pay £900ish for 3 days a week for both of them. It's not cheap 😅

I'd just wait, why the rush? I am always surprised with anyone who has a mortgage in their 20s. Leave it a few years, in that time you should have salary increases and can save up. And look for a job with a good amount of full pay maternity leave (mine gives 6 months). And remember, getting and staying pregnant is totally unplannable. Hopefully there will be more hours funded childcare by the time you do have a child as well. I'm expecting number 1 and we did zero planning - sometimes you just have to go for it.

Well said . Don’t know why the ageism insult was even needed to put there.

I was made redundant when i was pregnant so sometimes plans go out the window, but life still works out. You just need to adjust your expectations. Our joint income is less than yours and we have two primary age DC

How we did it - we saved every penny we could, eloped instead of wedding, no holidays, no sky subscription, flashy mobiles, cheap cars etc before TTC. We waited until our 30s and never TTC until we had the money we needed - around £18k, which is just a well as we were pg in the first month.

That money helped support some maternity, but I was back at work after 7 months. I then used accrued leave to work 4 days a week for nearly a year, dh worked 4 days mid week and a day at the weekend meaning nursery fees were only for 3 days a week in the first year.

Avoided any debt and lived within our means until we got to grips with the extra expenses and saving for 2nd child (which we tried for but never happened).

Get married and enjoy the wedding and maybe a year or so of married life, by then you'll be on more money, and still be under 30 and sounds like a great basis to start a family. You would be ok to do it now, you'd just manage as plenty do! But a few years will make it so much easier.

Is the 500 remaining after all costs including food and petrol?
If so then saving for 3 months now will cover the £100 per month shortfall.
If you're using childcare you can get 85 percent paid by the government usually, and you will have cb to cover most of the day to day baby costs.
A lot of big ticket baby items are free second hand on fb marketplace and similar.