My Partner and I have good jobs but calculating finances shows we can't afford a baby and live

[TheMightySoup]

Hello everyone,

Little introduction my Fiance and I are looking to have a baby in the next couple of years and we have been doing some money calculations based on our Salaries, currently 30k and 22k (should go up prior to childbirth) Which sounds like a lot but once we take out mortgage, expenses etc, we only have less than £500 left, based on my Fiance being on the SMP payments.

We are very new to this, very much started our in depth discussion of when to have a child this weekend. We don't know what we do and don't qualify for but we know that the ~£600 a month is a huge difference compared to my Fiancé's salary

I don't make a lot of money right now as I am on an apprenticeship scheme and my company are a little cheap. And I want to be able to make more because we just don't know what to do. Where we live has gotten really expensive all of a sudden.

I am just looking for some guidance and or help as I am very new to this and don't understand it.

I personally would wait (and that's exactly what I did do!). Baby didn't come along until 12 years after we got together (and luckily fell first try when we were eventually ready at 29/30). Because we waited we are now mortgage-free (might not be our forever home) we now can afford the best for our son and spend our time making memories with different experiences, not having to worry about what we spend. It's easier to work hard and do all the overtime before kids come along! My advice is to squirrel away as much money as you can before kids.

What @Overtheatlantic said. Also, get married and forget the wedding.

You need more time to progress and to save. 26 is still quite young.

Are you unaware that poor people have babies?

Could you share maternity leave?

Just have the baby.

Husband and I planned having a baby on paper, and we'd talked ourselves out of it due to finances.

Then we had a baby and everything worked out. Lifestyle changes- so we no longer travelled as much, didn't do things we'd normally have done before baby, and so on as obviously we had to tighten the purse strings.

If you think too much about having a family, its daunting and scary. And there is never a right time. We could have put it off until we had a bigger house, higher salaries, better mentally prepared etc. but having a baby will always be a shock to the system.

Both of you get evening/weekend jobs on top of your full time jobs and save the money. Yes, I know you'll both be knackered and it will be really shit. Yes, I know you shouldn't have to.

The country is on its arse, it's an absolute shit show and I'm sorry you're in this position through no fault of your own.

It is very depressing that most people are saying don't take children, you don't earn enough. How much should a person be earning before they have a baby? What about the people on minimum wage or part time on low salaries? Are only rich people, who are mortgage free and with five years nursery fees saved up allowed to have children??

Finish your degree apprenticeship first. I know you’ve said a salary boost will come with that but both of you look for jobs that are flexible (if possible). If you both can get flexible jobs where you work compressed hours over 4 days, you’ll only need 3 days of childcare. I don’t think you’re going to earn enough in the next few years to not feel the pinch of childcare costs but you can work towards building flexibility into your career.

After tax, Ni and pension you have about £3.5k net a month, you have £500 left after bills and expenses, so what are your outgoings that are coming to £3k a month?

No but the OP is still young and able to increase her income before having a baby. It’s called being responsible for yourself.

This!

If you oh think and plan to the nth degree, there is never going to be the right time to have a baby, there will always be a ‘yeah, but…’.

Scale back any mad wedding plans you might have. Work on lowering your expenses. Stash as much cash as possible away.

But life will find a way. Kids cost a lot less that the media would have you think. And we certainly found that a lot of our pre-DC expenses went away once we had children. The main expense is childcare and/or loss of parental wages. Think about that - people manage this in lots of different ways. So many alternatives to the ridiculous expense of full time nursery.

Finish your qualification, get married and get a couple of years work behind you. You’ve still 4 years til you are 30. Sounds like a lot will change financially in that 4 years!

Also assess your lifestyle and budget and work out your financial plans. Save for maternity leave and nursery costs and rainy days!

Speaking just for myself, I wasn't trying to make some big philosophical point about who deserves children, just saying that if the OP and their DP are still young, they will have a nicer time of it if they wait until they can afford it comfortably.

Maybe it shouldn't be this way but childcare in particular is expensive

I realise using partner may make us sound like a same sex couple but I'm 26 Male and my Fiance is 26 Female, not that it matters but just so everyone has the same information

This. Op is obviously being sensible and considering all options.

We are both 26 and know this is a little way off, we are getting married next year but following that all our money is going into Baby budget.

Sounds like you’ve got a plan, then. Finish apprenticeship (pay rise), get married, then try for a baby.

If you know you can live on the money you’re on now, then when you get your pay rise, whack it all into savings (and up your pension too). You’ll be set.

Exactly.
@littlemousebigcheese why don't you be helpful and answer your own question by making OP a nice little budget, showing what the minimum required is?

Obviously it varies. Some people may have free childcare from family, social housing with lower rent, etc but there are 2 big expenses here. The cost of maternity leave if only on SMP. And childcare!

I think their salaries are pretty average ones, in line with lots of people's salaries who have children so there must be ways of making it work.

you will manage- go for it

Older people just don’t understand how much the world has changed in regards to prices rising yet wages haven’t.

Mortage Interest rates are ridiculous

'Older people' remember when mortgage interest rates were up to fifteen per cent.

Stop the patronising ageism.

Well yes. Which is what PP have pointed out, like waiting and saving up for maternity leave, taking on second jobs, etc.
People haven't said 'don't have them'. They've said to wait, save and budget sensibly. That's all.

FFS! Older people like me have children who are the same age as you. Of course we understand the way the world has changed and worry for your generation. But the ageism is infuriating!

I was born in 1962 and couldn't afford to have children until I was in my mid 30s. You might find that impossible to imagine but it's true.

I think it depends where you live because those salaries would make having a baby a huge struggle where I am but that wouldn’t be the case everywhere.

I would look at how much your local nurseries charge (ours was over £100 per day and we left a year ago) and whether they will allow all the funded hours and, if so, how that works.

Can you and your fiancée get extra jobs to save a bit more now or will you be able to rely completely on family for childcare so your fiancée can return to work sooner?

As boring as it sounds, you basically need to look at all for expenses and get rid of pretty much all the unessentials and then save whatever you can.

A baby isn’t expensive. You can get bundles of clothes and other items for free or very cheaply if you look around It’s the maternity pay that is so detrimental with current mortgages and cost of living. However, nursery and beyond is where the costs can really add up.

It does make a difference that the one on the higher current salary is the one who will have the baby.

I'd hold off till the end of the apprenticeship when you say you can reasonably expect to out earn your partner.