Dh credit card - have I done a terrible thing?

[Zelamir]

Hi,

dh and I use the same credit card account. It’s a card that is in dh’s name, but we both use it. I pay the credit card bill directly from my own account. I earn more than dh so I pay most of the bills (I’ve no issue with this arrangement).

we tend to use the card for things like holidays/ flights. I pay the minimum by direct debit but always try and pay extra to clear any balance in 3-4 months.

dh will sometimes use the card towards the end of the month when money is running short. I never question any of this and just pay the bill.

last week I needed to pay for a hen weekend that I’m going on. I paid my balance on the credit card with the view to clear the money using March/April payday. I never imagined that I’d need to tell dh about this or ask permission.

he’s been really shitty with me, telling me that I’m out of order and that it’s ‘his card’, which is true I suppose.

I’ll never use the card again and I’ve applied for my own card, however I’m hurt that he’d take such an approach given that I’ve always paid the bill. He has never paid anything towards the card and I’ve never questioned his spending on it.

an i right to feel a bit upset with him? I thought we were a team

He didn't think this through did he?

Don't pay his card off again.

Yep stop using the card completely now, and stop paying the bill. Seriously.

He will soon regret being shitty with you… don’t let him treat you as a mug just because you earn more.

Oof. This would seriously piss me off. My gut response would be to go fine, he can have his card then and he can bloody well pay it. What the hell?! I’d like to think I’d also sit down and talk to him as to what brought this on but I’d also be working out proportionately how much he should be paying and expecting that to be met if he wants to play that game.

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, but definitely get your own card. If you’re paying your own stuff off anyway, it makes sense to have your own as a credit card in your own name that you pay off each month will improve your credit rating. At the moment his credit rating is benefiting from you keeping up with payments

You're better off paying for larger expenses over £100 eg holiday by card - if the holiday co goes bust you can just claim back from the card company.

Yup

It’s his card? He can pay his own fucking bill then. Twat.

What a cheeky twat. So you’ve made it clear if it’s HIS card then it’s his bill to settle, yeah?
What are you going to do when he comes demanding it to be paid off at the end of the month?

You need a chat to clarify why he is so upset about it.

I mean I love the idea of getting your own card. It’s probably best anyway.
But if you want to work it out as a partnership , you need the opportunity fir both you and him to explain what’s the issue.
incl

• that has been your arrangement so far, what’s different this time
• youve been paying for all the spending in this card, yours and his, why is it an issue etc…

It might be that he has an issue with the hen do. It might be he has an issue with the way you manage finances (together) Or it might something unrelated (not that surprising). But you need a chat.

@Zelamir sorry can you clear this up. It’s his card but he’s never paid anything towards it? wtf?

Stop paying it and get your own card

Pay the cost of your holiday off the card then hand him the card back and stop paying the bill every month. He is a cheeky bastard using the card, allowing you to pay the balance then having a fit because you used it. Wake up and see what he is.

Ponce tell him you will cut it up, he can apply for a pay for his own card
WTF does he do with his own money anyway.

Get your own card, and watch him suddenly get shitty about paying the balance himself. He's never paid for it, you've always cleared it, to have an objection to you using it the way you always have makes him an arse. I wouldn't be finding his holidays from now on, you should ask for a contribution.

an i right to feel a bit upset with him? I thought we were a team

Not seeing the team in this situation. I see you paying for everything and him not contribution anything.

The only way this would make sense is if he wanted to make a big purchase eg armchair and there wasn’t enough space on the card.

You pay the balance on the card and he's upset because you used it? Wow. Your cocklodger needs an attitude adjustment. Get your own card and stop paying his.

Leave him to pay for HIS card then.

Because he's not rational and will endlessly guilt trip OP about the hen do cost I think it's best if she pays him the cash for that to preempt his whinging but then cancel all dd on his card and leave him to it after that whilst OP can have her own card. Which he can't use.

He's so self entitled isn't he!

If you're a team then surely you agree large purchases before going ahead.

That aside, I think you need to get your own card. If you don't want to be answerable to another person about your spending then you need to get your own card.

If you're a named holder of someone elses card then yes, you need to tell them if a large sum is going on it. Maybe HE wanted to put something large on it, and now he can't.

@Peekaboobo OP pays the balance on his card anyway, he certainly doesn't! So yes it's best if she gets her own cc and he can finally start paying for himself.

@Zelamir have you applied for your own cc now?