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Original poster

Sister and credit card issue

37 replies

ukeleley · 08/03/2024 12:30

Hi,

My sister moved back from abroad quite suddenly in 2019 and needed to set up home. At the time, I had a credit card that I didn't use, with a zero balance. I added my sister as second cardholder and agreed that she could use the card as her her own, on the agreement that she took full responsibility for the bill payments.

Up until recently she has upheld here end of the deal. She has a direct debit that covers the minimum and will pay additional chunks off when necessary. It hasn't caused me any issues so I have had no reason to really think about it

Things have become a little tricky for her of late, and she is struggling with the payments. She has been honest with me about this. There is a £2900 balance remaining.

I am considering taking over the payments for 6 months to give her some support but my DH doesn't want me to.

Just to be clear, I get on very well with my sister and I am not going to let our relationship suffer as a result of this. I gave her my consent to use the card as her own, which I suppose was a mistake

WWYD

OP posts:
SpringOfContentment · 08/03/2024 12:37

I would absolutly make sure the minimium is paid off each month.
How much can your sister pay? If you topped that up to minimiuk repayment, it will limit the damage to your credit score.

JustOneFootInFrontOfTheOther · 08/03/2024 12:37

Jesus.
I would block her card immediately.
You are liable & it’s your credit rating at risk so, if she isn’t able to pay, you will have to.

murasaki · 08/03/2024 12:40

Has she used the card after the initial home set up costs? If so, I'd cut access off immediately. She needs to pay you back as much as she can, but it may be best for you to take over the payments and collect from her. No future purchases allowed.

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 08/03/2024 12:42

Given your credit record is at stake I would be ensuring the minimum is paid - and a bit more if I could afford it.
With the minimum repayment only, and not spending another penny on the card, that’s still almost 5 years of repayments to clear the balance.

Gazelda · 08/03/2024 12:43

Has she stopped using it?

Is she still making regular payments, even if not the full amount due?

My DSis helped me financially many years ago and I will always remember that she was so generous when I was at rock bottom. I repaid it all very quickly and have since done something similar for her when she needed a bit of help.

Original poster
ukeleley · 08/03/2024 12:44

murasaki · 08/03/2024 12:40

Has she used the card after the initial home set up costs? If so, I'd cut access off immediately. She needs to pay you back as much as she can, but it may be best for you to take over the payments and collect from her. No future purchases allowed.

Yes she has. She has used the card as her own. I was always aware of this. From my point of view, I didn't have an issue as long as

  1. paid the bill
  2. didn't exceed the limit
  3. didn't miss payments

She has supported me a lot ( not financially) so I never had an issue with the arrangement.

OP posts:
Original poster
ukeleley · 08/03/2024 12:45

Gazelda · 08/03/2024 12:43

Has she stopped using it?

Is she still making regular payments, even if not the full amount due?

My DSis helped me financially many years ago and I will always remember that she was so generous when I was at rock bottom. I repaid it all very quickly and have since done something similar for her when she needed a bit of help.

Yes, it's close the credit limit anyway so she can't really use it.

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 08/03/2024 12:45

This is ridiculous. Pay off the card, cancel it, and put her on a repayment plan to you. She will destroy your credit eventually otherwise by running up an enormous bill and then defaulting anyway.

Original poster
ukeleley · 08/03/2024 12:46

pikkumyy77 · 08/03/2024 12:45

This is ridiculous. Pay off the card, cancel it, and put her on a repayment plan to you. She will destroy your credit eventually otherwise by running up an enormous bill and then defaulting anyway.

I am not in a position to pay it off in full, but I can take over the monthly payments to ensure that nothing is missed. I feel like I am painting her in a negative light, and I don't want to do that. I feel as much responsible as she is.

OP posts:
murasaki · 08/03/2024 12:47

You need to stop it now though, if she wants a card she gets her own. And pays you back, do get that in writing.

She could trash your credit rating and leave you out of pocket.

murasaki · 08/03/2024 12:48

ukeleley · 08/03/2024 12:46

I am not in a position to pay it off in full, but I can take over the monthly payments to ensure that nothing is missed. I feel like I am painting her in a negative light, and I don't want to do that. I feel as much responsible as she is.

Show quote history

You're not though. You did a nice if silly thing, and she's taken advantage.

Ponderingwindow · 08/03/2024 12:49

doesn’t just paying the minimum payment hurt your credit rating?

this was such a bad plan.

i would definitely make at least the minimum payments. Keep a record and send her a copy every month to make to clear she owes that money directly to you. She should pay the card first though because of the interest rate on the card vs any interest you are likely earning on the money.

AlohaRose · 08/03/2024 12:51

This is ridiculous. Why is she still using your credit card five years after moving back to the UK?

Original poster
ukeleley · 08/03/2024 12:56

AlohaRose · 08/03/2024 12:51

This is ridiculous. Why is she still using your credit card five years after moving back to the UK?

In all honestly it just carried on. She used the card and paid the bill. Sometimes the balance would be cleared and at other times there would be a balance. It was something that she would sometimes mention, but I never had an issue as she was keeping up her end of the deal and I was glad to help her. It's only been recently that things have gone awry

OP posts:
ditalini · 08/03/2024 13:01

If you take on the repayments pay whatever the minimum is this month every month (ie don't decrese it) otherwise it'll take forever.

Plus I think it would be better for your sister to still contribute even if it's £20 per month just so a bit more is being chipped away and she's still taking some ownership of the debt.

mondaytosunday · 08/03/2024 13:03

You helped her out. Now she either has to get her own credit card or stop making any new purchases so be sure she's taken off it. Any reason why she can't get her own card? She's been back five years.

Original poster
ukeleley · 08/03/2024 13:04

ditalini · 08/03/2024 13:01

If you take on the repayments pay whatever the minimum is this month every month (ie don't decrese it) otherwise it'll take forever.

Plus I think it would be better for your sister to still contribute even if it's £20 per month just so a bit more is being chipped away and she's still taking some ownership of the debt.

I agree

My view is that she will need to take over the full payment as soon her she is back in a secure job. I am not keen to just take it over forever and she doesn't want that either.

I want to get the balance between sorting it out without damaging our relationship

OP posts:
Coolblur · 08/03/2024 13:05

I'd remove her as a card holder until she has paid back what she owes. She can change the direct debit to a standing order into your bank account each month. You've helped her enough already, it's been 5 years, time she stood on her own two feet

Original poster
ukeleley · 08/03/2024 13:05

mondaytosunday · 08/03/2024 13:03

You helped her out. Now she either has to get her own credit card or stop making any new purchases so be sure she's taken off it. Any reason why she can't get her own card? She's been back five years.

I am not sure if she has applied for a new one for a while, however when he first returned to the UK her credit file wasn't good due to issues linked to her previous relationship.

OP posts:
HungryBeagle · 08/03/2024 13:11

Well in reality you’re going to have to pay the minimum each month if she can’t as it will be your credit rating affected if you don’t, and you who will be chased for the debt.
What does your DH think you should do?

Original poster
ukeleley · 08/03/2024 13:21

HungryBeagle · 08/03/2024 13:11

Well in reality you’re going to have to pay the minimum each month if she can’t as it will be your credit rating affected if you don’t, and you who will be chased for the debt.
What does your DH think you should do?

Yes I am going to do that. She is constantly apologising to me etc, which is difficult as I don't want to make her feel any more miserable. It's a tricky one.

OP posts:
Lemontwizzle · 08/03/2024 14:27

You have done a lovely thing for your sister and life has thrown you both a curveball. I think that I would make sure that the minimum is paid to avoid any issues.

I agree that your relationship with your sister must be protected but you also need to end this agreement as soon as possible

Namerequired · 08/03/2024 14:36

She’s your sister and she hasn’t wronged you. She could have just stuck her head in the sand and missed the payments. Take over the payments and help her out for sure. You need to take over them to protect yourself anyway.
Unless it’s putting yous in difficulty then your dh is wrong. Family helps family and it sounds like she would do the same for you.
This is a good time to end the use of the card though.

Dearg · 08/03/2024 14:37

If your sister cannot meet the minimum repayments then she must stop adding to the balance. I know you say it’s close to the limit, but please put a stop to it.

If you don’t want to tell her why, blame the bank. But letting the situation continue is such a bad idea, plus it is doing zero to establishing your sisters own credit score. Bear in mind that if things get tougher for her, her debts could drive a wedge between you two or between you & your DH.

It was a kind thing to do 5 years ago, but as you say in your Op, it was probably a mistake to let it go on.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 08/03/2024 14:58

@ukeleley she needs to pay you back at least the minimum payment plus say £100/ to get the balance down asap. you can make the payment on the internet. take the card back from her now though. she should be able to get a job at least in retail for now.