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Original poster

Sister and credit card issue

37 replies

ukeleley · 08/03/2024 12:30

Hi,

My sister moved back from abroad quite suddenly in 2019 and needed to set up home. At the time, I had a credit card that I didn't use, with a zero balance. I added my sister as second cardholder and agreed that she could use the card as her her own, on the agreement that she took full responsibility for the bill payments.

Up until recently she has upheld here end of the deal. She has a direct debit that covers the minimum and will pay additional chunks off when necessary. It hasn't caused me any issues so I have had no reason to really think about it

Things have become a little tricky for her of late, and she is struggling with the payments. She has been honest with me about this. There is a £2900 balance remaining.

I am considering taking over the payments for 6 months to give her some support but my DH doesn't want me to.

Just to be clear, I get on very well with my sister and I am not going to let our relationship suffer as a result of this. I gave her my consent to use the card as her own, which I suppose was a mistake

WWYD

OP posts:
CockSpadget · 08/03/2024 15:03

First thing I would do is transfer the balance to a 0% card, as only paying the minimum payment each month will really be causing the interest to rack up.

Haveyoubrushedyourteeth · 08/03/2024 15:12

You need to take over the minimum payments, but get her to match it so you're both paying the same.

DH did this for his parents and it went horribly wrong, only at the 3 month "we want our money back" point did we find out. Despite being able to clear the balance immediately We're still suffering from the problems his "kindness" brought about.

Thankfully I've got a good credit rating otherwise it would have impacted on the obvious things like car buying and mortgages, but also the not so obvious like being guarantor for the DC's at uni.

Honestly OP don't wait for a default, and get the nitty gritty of how she's paying you back sorted afterwards, but make the minimum payment today if you can. Protect yourself and your family

Vanmaker · 08/03/2024 16:10

This is financial abuse. Your sister is financially abusing you,

Lemontwizzle · 08/03/2024 16:12

Haveyoubrushedyourteeth · 08/03/2024 15:12

You need to take over the minimum payments, but get her to match it so you're both paying the same.

DH did this for his parents and it went horribly wrong, only at the 3 month "we want our money back" point did we find out. Despite being able to clear the balance immediately We're still suffering from the problems his "kindness" brought about.

Thankfully I've got a good credit rating otherwise it would have impacted on the obvious things like car buying and mortgages, but also the not so obvious like being guarantor for the DC's at uni.

Honestly OP don't wait for a default, and get the nitty gritty of how she's paying you back sorted afterwards, but make the minimum payment today if you can. Protect yourself and your family

Did this damage your relationship with them!

LIZS · 08/03/2024 16:14

But minimum payments will never cover the balance, and interest gets added each month so the balance increases. Cancel the card so she cannot continue to spend. I can see why your dh is reluctant , unless you have a formal agreement and are prepared to enforce it , even at the expense of the relationship with your sistee

Haveyoubrushedyourteeth · 08/03/2024 16:32

@Lemontwizzle yes it did, although I go to visit them still but that's for the DC's sake. They're a car crash when it comes to finances, and still in a massive mess now.

It did damage to DH and I too, thankfully we're past that now. He's a very kind man, but also very stupid and still conditioned to thinking his parents want the best for him.

foodtoorder · 08/03/2024 16:36

Def make sure she makes the minimum and swap it to a zero percent card.

Lemontwizzle · 08/03/2024 16:54

LIZS · 08/03/2024 16:14

But minimum payments will never cover the balance, and interest gets added each month so the balance increases. Cancel the card so she cannot continue to spend. I can see why your dh is reluctant , unless you have a formal agreement and are prepared to enforce it , even at the expense of the relationship with your sistee

The rules have changed regarding minimum payments so if you only pay the minimum, had balance will decrease albeit very very slowly

zzpleb · 08/03/2024 17:04

Legally the debt is your responsibility because you are the principal card holder. It doesn't matter that the expenditure was made by the additional card holder.

If your sister can't make the repayments and you decide not to make them, the credit card company will come after you for the debt.

https://www.moneysupermarket.com/credit-cards/joint-credit-cards/

HungryBeagle · 08/03/2024 19:11

LIZS · 08/03/2024 16:14

But minimum payments will never cover the balance, and interest gets added each month so the balance increases. Cancel the card so she cannot continue to spend. I can see why your dh is reluctant , unless you have a formal agreement and are prepared to enforce it , even at the expense of the relationship with your sistee

This isn’t true. The monthly balance will always decrease when paying the minimum payment, it will just take a very long time to pay off in full.

elkiedee · 09/03/2024 06:46

OP, I don't think your sister is doing something particularly wrong - this is all with your agreement. But does she have other debts, and is she juggling several? Could she take on her own credit? She needs to look at her income and all her outgoings as a whole, and whether it's possible to increase the income and reduce the outgoings.

It could be that it was all fine for a couple of years and then the pandemic, then utility bills shot up etc.

If you're going to take on making repayments then this should be on the basis that you're trying to reduce the debt. Is it possible for you and your sister to both make payments off at minimum repayment level or above (x 2)? Applying for a balance transfer might be a good idea, but only on the basis that your sister doesn't carry on using the card.

Lemontwizzle · 09/03/2024 12:50

Vanmaker · 08/03/2024 16:10

This is financial abuse. Your sister is financially abusing you,

I don’t think that this would constitute financial abuse. It may not be the best plan, however it doesn’t as though the sister has set out to deliberately cause harm. The op did consent to her using the card. I imagine that a lack of communication has been the issue here.

to call this financial abuse Is actually quite offensive to people who have suffered actual financial abuse.

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