Asking husband to leave - what bills should he pay?

[rainbowcakes]

Im planning on asking my husband to leave in the next couple of weeks, with a view
to divorcing. He will most likely end up with his parents. Whilst he isnt living there but I am, what is reasonable to ask him
to contribute towards? We currently pay half of all bills (v similar salaries).

Was thinking perhaps asking him
to pay his half of the mortgage whilst i cover everything else, or should i request he pays for more/less?

Property is jointly owned with a mortgage, 4 year old DC together. Im hoping to buy him out of the property later down the line, I can just about afford to. Thank you!

I think he would quite reasonably pay zero contribution to any of the bills if you asked him to leave...

You probably should get some legal advice tbh.

Why are you thinking about asking him to contribute to any bills? If he leaves he pays nothing apart from child maintenance.

@ChatterMonkey yes, thats a good point. If relevant, Im asking him to leave because he is taking drugs behind my back and has built up a credit card debt which he is not repaying. He isnt aware that I know about either. Im happy to pay for everything myself, just wasnt sure what would be reasonable in the circumstances, or if he should at least contribute towards our DC.

I think depends a bit why you're asking him to leave, although he should always be making some contribution to housing and feeding his child.

Child maintenance would be a starting point. Not sure it is reasonable to ask him to pay anything else especially as ultimately he will perhaps have to rent somewhere ( who wants to go back to their parents for long ? ).

Work out child maintenance consider half mortgage only but he may come back and ask you for 'rent' on his half of the property. Seek legal advice and be armed with all the information you need.

Apologies, I didnt intend to drip feed, I wasnt sure initially if the reasons why were relevant hence why omitting them from my OP. I can afford to pay for everything myself, so happy to do that.

Make a claim through child maintenance and yes ask him to pay half the mortgage or if he agrees to you buying him out you’ll have to cover it yourself anyway.

Take advantage of his need for drugs and his need to pay off his CC!!

His contribution for his children will be via child maintenance, rather than a direct contribution to bills.

Mught be worth looking into how much you would be entitled to and starting a claim.

How is he going to be able to afford half the mortgage as well as rent?

Child maintenance and half the mortgage.

The mortgage needs to be paid to keep a roof over DC head. If you are unable to pay and he is unable to pay, then you fall into arrears, you lose your investment and both your credit scores are fucked.

Child maintenance only and just because you want him to leave he doesn't need to. My advice would be to get legal advice and divorce as quickly as possible, my advice to him would be to stay put and get legal advice.

@Thegoodbadandugly It was more a case of asking him to pay half the mortgage in the interim until we are officially divorced. Highly unlikely he would move out from his parents and rent his own place until the divorce was finalised, although i understand thats just an assumption! He will claim he cant afford to pay rent on his own (he can, he will just want £££ to spend on himself)

See a solicitor, know your rights and how long formal separation is likely to take. You need to find out what happens with big assets such as the home, pensions etc and also big debts - as you are married are you both liable for the cc debt? My BIL was partly liable for the £70k debt (ccards and loans) his ex-wife accrued.

He might want to stay in the home until formal separation is agreed, and as it is his home too he is entitled to. What you consider reasonable living arrangements during the process and what he thinks is reasonable might be different and you might need mediation.

You cannot navigate this without knowing your legal rights for your own circumstances.

Thanks everyone, Ill get in touch with a solicitor next week. I just wasnt sure if asking him to pay child maintenance AND half the mortgage (until divorced) was unreasonable.

Re child maintenance- do you have to make an application through the CSA or can you make an agreement between yourselves? Assume its recommended to go through the CSA in any case. Sorry, im clueless about this sort of thing.

All you’ll be entitled to from him from the day you say you are “separated” even if not legally divorced is a child maintenance amount. He doesn’t have to pay anything towards the house and if you are the one kicking him out I don’t think you can reasonably ask him to.

As previous poster has said, you can’t make him to leave. You can ask, but he can say no, and he’s well within his rights to say that so it’s worth thinking about what you will do in that instance. Really make sure you have a few back up plans before broaching this

You don’t have to go through CMS OP, you can come to a private agreement. You can have a look online at the CMS calculator to see what figure is suggested there and then either go with that figure or decide between yourselves on an alternative plan x

Thank you, totally understood.

Without going too much into the background, I gave him an ultimatum for the drug taking last spring. He did ask then if he wanted him to move out but i said no, and we gave things another go. He did quit as he knew what was at stake, but has now been doing it behind my back. I would like to think that because he has betrayed/lied to me after the ultimatum, he would leave the property without kicking up a fuss. Although I guess you never know until it happens! We dont have a spare bedroom, so that will be fun if he wont leave! 😑

For info, his parents live locally whilst mine live an hour away so I cant move in with them unfortunately!

@rainbowcakes what makes you think he's going to agree to leave his house & his kids, just because you're telling him to?

@JingleSnowmanTree

she believes it because she knows him better than you do?!

Because of the circumstances of him deceiving me and lying to me by omission, I think he would agree to leave the house. However, whilst im confident that he will, i know that absolutely isnt a guarantee. If he wont leave, ill just have to deal with him staying in the property until the divorce is finalised. Not much else I can do!

I agree

Thank you all for your help! Ill try to get some legal advice this week.