Am I being unfair?

[Limincello]

Hi

12 months ago dh’s brother and his wife were having financial issues. We agreed to lend them 4K on the agreement that they paid back £200 per months, for 20 months,interest free . We put something in writing etc.we’re not wealthy and this was a fair chunk of our savings.

They have made every payment on time so I can’t fault them for that, however I just found out that they are going away tomorrow on a city break to go Prague.

I feel a bit miffed that they’re doing this When they still owe us money, dh says it’s not our business as they’re paying us back, but I think it’s a piss take

AIBU?

YABU.

YABU

They are repaying you on the schedule, that’s enough. They don’t have to repay you every spare penny they have.

Correct 😂. I actually lent it to family, but changed the scenario around in my comment to make it less identifiable but forgot I’d already started the sentence 🤦🏽‍♀️ That’s why I’m so certain the lender was fine with it.

They're sticking to the terms of your agreement. They don't need to live on beans and rice for years.

If you're unhappy, don't help them out again.

You had two choices when you lent them this money. One was to agree instalments with which you were both comfortable and make sure those were maintained. The other was to say upfront, “We will help you out, but this is a lot of money for us too. We need you to pay back as much as possible as soon as possible”.

It sounds like you’d have preferred option two - but for some reason, you didn’t take it. And now that you haven’t, you can’t really get mad at them for YOUR decision. They’re living within the means of a repayment plan to which you agreed. January is the prime time for cheap offers from travel companies; particularly for travel in off-season. I had a promo through from Wizz Air today - flights from Gatwick to Prague and vice versa were as little as £19 in February.

Did you feel pushed into this by your husband, given it was his side of the family asking?

No one is saying the DB & his wife should live on beans and gruel ... but if they had 'financial difficulties a year ago & needed to borrow £4k' (as stated by the OP) I can totally understand the OP feeling a bit 'miffed' that they are suddenly in a position to afford a weekend away to Prague.
I am sure the OP isn't going to ask for a change in the terms of the loan but I can totally see where she is coming from ... which is why it is probably best to not offer to loan family or friends money in the first place.

And getting a loan from a Bank is totally different - no 'emotion' involved.

You don’t get to dictate how somebody lives their life just because you’ve leant them money.

If they were making excuses and not paying you the amount you had agreed you would be fair to talk to them about it however that isn’t the case here.

They are paying you back exactly as you agreed. I can understand your frustration but you can't let it upset you. They're doing what you asked.