Universal credit claim

[Chelsii555]

Really need some advice from anyone been in a similar situation recently I have been more involved with the children's dad after a really bad couple of years of his problems he's finally sorted himself out and made lots of steps to complelty been a changed person (I hope) he has been asking to move in he currently lives with his mum did live with his uncle but he passed away last year that's when he decided to make steps in changing I have said that before he moves in I want to make a joint account bills in both r names tenancy in both r names also be has a new job and gets double what I get I work part time so I no if I let him move in I will then be more financially reliant on him as my wages wouldn't cover a quarter of the bills I have coming out a month currently I am having the universal credit review that is going on with everyone with the bank statements and I'd I have submitted them but just waiting on the phone call to go threw them but people have said can take weeks and weeks and he wants to move in before Christmas have a fresh start in the new year but I don't no if anyone can help but can I change my circumstances while having the review will it look like am just adding him on incase they question me he's always sent me child maintenance money well not always only since January and when he got his new job has he sent me a regular payment a month I no I haven't done anything wrong there but speaking to other people they have just been like no they will class it as fraud and investigate your whole claim still then I haven't got nothing to hide as he's never payed any of my bills in his whole entire life or financially supported me apart from sending child maintenance over which I normally spend on food shop for the kids and clothes and bits like that but what scares me is that if I do move him in and start a joint claim and they decide am only doing it cos am under review and cancel my claim and loose money and the stress of it all or do I wait till the review is over and then do it it's so confusing on what to do the right way as so many thing online r really conflicting and don't want to cause myself financial problems right on top of Xmas if this is what will happen for just been onist if anyone can give me some advice anyone in similar situation so I can stop worrying on what to do

This is your second post and you are still asking for us to look into a crystal ball. If you have done nothing wrong then move forward with your plans. If you are worried postpone. You don’t know if it is a routine UC review yet. If you’ve been discussing your circumstances with friends and they are vindictive people they may well have reported you even though you are innocent. I would get the review over with first and then let him move in after. If neighbors or friends have reported him as staying over (if he has) they may have evidence they want to clarify with you. Stop trying to control the outcome as you can only answer the questions they ask you when they do your just worrying yourself sick wait and see what the review brings up.

I'm sorry but I can't make sense of this due to the lack of any punctuation.

I'll make some effort to help folks who find writing difficult but this is beyond the pail.

Have you used a benefit calculator with the hypothetical scenarios to help you work out what the best option for you is ? If not, it might be worth doing.

If you view DWP as being suspicious of everyone's motives, it doesn't really matter when he moves in does it?

If it's during the review, according to you they'll assume you're playing catch-up by telling them about something that has been ongoing - him actually living with/staying over most nights etc.

If you wait until after the review then, according to your logic, they'll assume you've had a fright during the review process and are covering your arse going forward.

Regarding losing money, I'd imagine the benefits amount your family receives will reduce once they factor his salary into household income. They will see your children being supported by 1.5 salaries, rather than the 0.5 salaries at present.

Personally, I think there are probably other issues to consider too:

a) how long has he been a 'changed' person?,
b) how much is his motivation to move in tied in to him getting away from his mother?,
c) are you confident him moving in is in the best interests of your children?,
d) will you have the financial resources to provide for your children should there be issues/delays with your joint application for UC?

I done a online calculator and it would be just be child tax credit we would get which would work out to be about what I get now with universal and working that's not the issue it's just that before I do it I want to change everything over so he can't just decide I don't want to pay this and this not saying he will cos I have explained the situation to him but he has had a drug problem in the past and was constantly in debt and getting himself in trouble that my biggest fear is what if this happens again the kids want him to move in (he constantly keeps saying it to them r u excited to see me everyday bla bla) i no am stressing myself out over it to much but my anxiety and overthinking completely takes over my brain I haven't ate in days family and friends are really against him moving in but said it's my life and I have to make that decision and they will be there regardless but just to think about what I am doing which I have but am now under pressure from him to move him in he said to go the bank the weekend and make a joint account then and start the ball rolling I onistly don't no what to do and for my spelling and punctuality am sorry am just in a overthinking panic state and worrying that am just venting everything down sorry if I don't make any sense. I've just got that many worrys in my head of what could happen and now cos this review am feeling pressured into committing to something I will regret and risk loosing my money and been financially stuck is scary to me

Don’t do it then because you can’t live like this as you’ll end up in hospital if the ramblings in your messages are a reflection of your diminishing mental health.

You’ve been fine on your own with the kids. Why let the ex drug addict back into your life on a permanent basis when he makes you this anxious and full of dread?

Good news about there being no difference in your claim amount. Does this include any rent element too?

Even if they have been given any evidence or indication of him staying overnight at your house and you two possibly being a couple at least you won’t owe them anything. You can stop worrying about that now at least.

They may accuse you of fraud (if you do decide to go ahead and let him move in) or they may not but all you have to do is prove that he stays over at his Mums at night and you have not been a couple.

As you say even if you were a couple again if you have done the calculations correctly then you won’t owe UC any money anyway.

I’m not sure though about putting him on your tenancy if you will still get your rent covered by UC even if he does move in why then do you want him on the tenancy because you won’t be able to ask him to leave?

No sorry I would get around 200 pnd universal if he was living here I ment his wages and my wages combined would be around the same amount I get off universal now so am not worried about been short of money aslong as he pays his way I thought that would be the best way to do it so he then he couldn't just move in and then later on decide we'll am not paying for this and that with everything been in his name I onistly don't no but it's something am prepared to give ago I was just wanted to see if anyone else been in a similar situation and it all worked out ok

@Chelsii555 when you read it back to yourself before you post you need a full stop or a comma when you breathe.

It will be easier to read....

I would not be putting him on your tenancy until he has done a year clean and it's been drama free.

I would postpone moving in until your review is done for all your sakes. Going through fraud investigations and having less money will not help an already stressful relationship.

"he's finally sorted himself out and made lots of steps to complelty been a changed person (I hope)"

I wouldn't let him back until you are 100% sure.

With the information you've provided it seems foolish to join yourself to him financially and make yourself reliant on him, especially if you're not married.

Joint accounts don't stop him from transferring all the money out to another account or spending it all.

You'll be heavily reliant on his income which you've said he has previously spent all on drugs.

You want to put his name on the tenancy which gives him equal rights to live in the property if you break up again.

Without marriage you can't even take him through formal divorce procedure to split financial assets.

At the moment you and your children are safe, housed and have food. Don’t be pressured into giving this up. Ask him to wait until after your review. A recovered drug addict pressuring you to let him move in for the sake of Christmas and a new start is not a good sign. He needs to give you time to make sure you feel safe and secure in your UC review once it’s over and then revisit him moving in and being a couple again.

Look after your kids and yourself first and foremost.

I done a online calculator and it would be just be child tax credit we would get

You can't put in a new claim for tax credits. So this is incorrect.

You KNOW this would be the wrong decision. That's why you're feeling so stressed.
Don't go backwards.

Thank for replying i have just got myself all worked up and feeling pressured

I onistly wish they give u like a good trial run it's a scary situation to be in he has caused alot of drama for us all but he seems genuine in trying or am just being foolish because of my low self esteem I really don't no

I am going to wait till the review phone call hopefully they are quick and if they do ask just be onist and tell them the situation am still unsure on what to do for the best

But again so many conflicting story's from people saying they was then accused of fraud and made to pay back all there benefits and soon as u give them a inch they take a mile with it or am I reading to much into other peoples dramas I don't no

I just don't want to get myself in trouble and also don't want to feel pressured into something am not ready to do

Only answer the questions the review team ask you.

If you have decided to wait til after their review you can answer honestly that you are not in a relationship and he has not been staying over at your house as he lives with his mother. Is this correct?

Has he been sleeping over at your house regularly?

Have you been having a physical relationship with him?

If the answer to these questions are ‘no’ there is no need for you to say anything at all. Wait til after the review and inform them next year when he will be moving in.

If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’ then they may well have evidence and I suggest you get legal advice and also say nothing. Being honest and saying you are in fact ‘trying’ a relationship with your children’s father whereby he as been sleeping at yours overnight in the family home paid for by UC and not informing UC is likely to be viewed as fraud.

Good luck.

Yes that's correct i overthink and read to much into everything then put myself under pressure

I've also never been good with money and have struggled over the years to make ends meet I got myself in a mess couple years ago with pay day loans to cover bills and just scared to put myself in a bad situation

Thanks for all your replys am sure everything will work out how it's ment to

I absolutely wouldn't move in with this man or have joint anything at all. You're making yourself very vulnerable if you do. What if he goes back to his own ways which he will. Then you're stuck. I agree with the PP who said let him prove himself for a year or so first.

There is a lot to be learned from the Shakespeare saying "she doth protest too much" ( Ive paraphrased a bit )

You are getting yourself in a state, and constantly denying something which has almost certainly already been happening - him already living with you. I can smell it a mile off. The reason you "now" want to put him on the tenancy and open a joint account is so it "looks like" its something thats just happened ( him moving in ) and not something thats been going on for months. You are trying to create a self made " date stamp" to rely on.

You almost certainly have been reported to trigger this review and all this stress is to try and make things look legitimate. Discussing it with family and on here to test " the juries " thinking.

Hopefully Im wrong but I doubt it.

Personally taking UC out of the question, Id get rid of this waster. A former drug addict gambler is not a good example for children to be around and especially one who causes you this much grief and stress.

Without going into the detail of the OP's circumstances it's very easy to drift into cohabitation. If you're not on means tested benefits it probably doesn't matter although single person discounts (ie Council Tax) can still bite your bum.

If you're on UC or similar it gets more complicated. While whether one is staying over/shagging is part of the story it's not definitive. The test is whether you're living together as (though) a married couple - LTAMC.

It's possible to live under the same roof and not be - not uncommon for estranged couples to be in a position where one cannot move out. But if you share a room, eat together and generally have the look/feel of a household or family that won't fly.

If the OP is being investigated for LTAMC while maintaining a single claim she needs to be very careful.

If they're seriously looking at fraud then an 'interview under caution' is likley.

And this is the whole reason why am too scared to do the right thing as you have just said it already looks like he lives there smell it a mile of comment is why do we all become suspicious of eachother

And because of them type of comments is the reason I have got myself all worked up and anxious so no matter what I do or say it just looks like I've lied and he's been living here the whole time that's what your comment suggests and that's the exact reason why I have got myself in a mess

Also wasn't any fraud review it was the normal review everyone is going to get were they ask for 4 months bank statements and I pay for all my bills shopping I have 1800 comen out each month for all my bills and even to the tiny bills of Disney plus and Amazon prime there isn't anything I dont pay and every month he pays me child maintenance each month we'll after all my bills come out and that then gets spent on shopping clothes shops things the kids need trips out extra so the whole review process wouldn't show that he was living here anyway my problem was we was about to open a joint account change bills over and do it properly so he has the same amount of financially responsibility as me when he moves in and unfortunately I have the random review they are doing and it's now stopped me in my tracks from people saying they will assume he's always lived there and cancel your claim and make u pay back all your claim

I come on here for advice if anyone been in similar situation when moving in with someone it's 2023 and people and relationships family's aren't they same as they used to be but as u jump to assume am lying I have been told they will aswell and that's what am afraid of and having to deal with that whole process when am not even sure am doing the right thing anyway thanks for making my anxiety alot worse

Just be honest and you’ll be fine.

@Chelsii555 listen no one is judging you but if he is the children's father you can't blame people from connecting the dots.

Anyway sounds like your fine and you seem confident it will be ok (relationship wise) so fill your boots :)

I would just give it a year before you put him on the tenancy agreement.

Do not move in with this man. How much child maintenance does he pay? Do you actually go through CMS?

And cos he is the child's father and the assumption hes always lived with me because he is it's what's got me worked up and I no how it can look and that's the fear I have in joining him onto the claim

Only since his new job in January has he payed me 400 a month but before that I'd be lucky to get 50 quid or he'd give me 20 quid if I said I need to get stuff in for the kids cos I was skint that was when he was wasting all his wages on drugs and going on benders and missing work he had a shock to the system when he got into trouble with a few people over debts he owed and after his family helped him pay it off he went and go himself help and since January has been clean and consistent and worked hard some people do change and even thou there is pressure there from him to make a decision also I do want to give him a chance and I want to do it properly and not just move him in see how it goes because then I would be committing fraud then thats why am so anxious about it because there is no trial run its either doing it or not

Thanks for your messages hopefully it all works out and I can come back and say everything perfect and worked out or biggest mistake I made who knows all I can do is just be onist and take what ever comes with that am just going to make myself sick otherwise

It's 'beyond the pale'.

@Chelsii555 regardless of UC reviews, etc., this has disaster written all over it. Let this man prove himself over a long time period and not financially entwined with you. If he loves you, he'll be willing to do that.