Getting financial affairs in order before you die

[blackheartsgirl]

my mum died on Wednesday just gone and the circumstances of her death was traumatic enough (she was ill but it was quite sudden, police and coroner involved) but sorting out her financial affairs is almost as bad.

she refused to talk about money or wills, was secretive, lied to her partner, was evasive, really crap with money. My brother and me have no idea whether she has a will, has any money at all, whether she had a works pension, any debts, we can’t find much paperwork, all bank statements were on line, no passwords nothing, she was a bit of a spendaholic . We are going to have a right old job as I think it might go to probate.also no funeral provision.

thus has made me really think about my own affairs and making things easy for my kids when I go, I don’t have much money but I do have some assets that can be sold. I was thinking of a will, a funeral plan, and details of work pensions etc. what else?

Sorry for the depressing subject but I’m wide awake and things are churning in my head

Sorry to hear that.

Leaving lists of passwords is a good idea.

I don't have a will.

I am in rented property and have money saved to cover funeral if my kids want one.

I'm dealing with my mum's estate. Different because I did know her phone and Internet banking passwords, plus where her will and most financial documents were, it's still hard work though.

Have a look here: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/end-of-life-planning/lifebook/

I agree.

My Mum knew she had a terminal illness and was very good in making sure I knew what she had and where. She have me her phone unlock code and when she was getting worse and I temporarily forgot it, she was quite angry with me (not like her at all).

Because I had to help with her probate and passing everything to Dad, luckily Dad was happy for me to know where he has his savings too. We now have POAs as well as he wanted them in place. So we did them for ourselves at the same time.

It's a good idea to get things in place.

There is a thing called Swedish death cleaning - you can get a book or read up online, this helps with the general sorting https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/organizing/a43826147/swedish-death-cleaning/

Things that would be good to do are:
-money set aside for crem/funeral
-lists of assets (or debts!!) and a copy of the will
-list of all your 'schemes' e.g. bank accounts, pensions, insurances
-filing system with key documents for all the payments that need to be stopped e.g. your car insurance, your magazine subscriptions, your milk order, your charity standing orders
-a list of who should be told - because your family may not prioritise the same people you would
-any funeral wishes
-labelled keys for everything
-anything weird about your house e.g. how the boiler works plus the instruction manuals
-anything in your house that you know someone else would have a view over but isn't covered by the will - like 'Sue always loved that picture of Brighton'.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I’m in a similar situation to you, and currently wading through the probate process. A list of every held, who it’s held with and the account number/password is useful. Plus note of your national insurance number, and anything valuable.

It would be good to let your executor know of anything you want to go to anyone specifically such as jewellery, paintings etc.

And I am very sorry about your mum

You have my sympathies. My sister died in August, and it was a nightmare to know where to start with the financial side of things. Once I had registered the death, I was able to phone her bank and put a stop of her account, the utility companies and loan company where then pretty quick to send letters when their direct debits bounced. For the first few weeks I'd dread the postman arriving because I didn't know what demand for money was going to rock up next.

Prepare yourself for the long haul though. Probate wait times are a minimum of 16 weeks, so expect things to go slowly.

Sorry to hear about your situation - there was another thread covering similar questions recently that may help you OP

What do you wish you'd talked about earlier? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/elderly_parents/4922884-what-do-you-wish-youd-talked-about-earlier

As I said on that thread, passwords aren't what you need, just call the bank and ask for the bereavement team.

*@Sunshine and rainbow · Today 00:16

I don't have a will. *

So what arrangements are in place for your children if you died unexpectedly ?

I don’t have a will either. I’m going to make sure I have one in place now.

these replies are all brilliant, thank you and I will look at the links.

when my dh passed away 2 years ago (we got married in hospital) he made a will 2 days before he died as well which meant that it made things a lot easier and it didn’t go to probate.

my mum and her partner if 10 years never got married and I’ve been named as next of kin so it’s fallen to me to sort the shit out, her partner doesn’t quite understand he has no legal status and it has to be that does all the legal stuff.

swedish death cleaning is very interesting. I really don’t want my kids to have stress when I die so I will be making things as easy as I can for them

Agree it's a nightmare sorting it all out! 💐 After my dad died i made a 'death file' for my boys with all relevant information in it like which solicitor has my will, even a leaflet for the direct cremation company I'd used for dad. I simplified my savings so that most of it is in an old fashioned account with a passbook and they know my Internet banking passwords for the current account. I also cleared my loft although most of it was son's junk 🙄

My kids make fun of me but I have a notebook in the safe with bank account info, investment stuff, pension info, bills that need to be taken care of, passwords for phones iPads etc. And the name of the lawyer that has the will/trust info.

Also most of our financial stuff is set up that DH or I are the beneficiary if the other one goes first and our kids are equal beneficiaries if we go together.

he made a will 2 days before he died as well which meant that it made things a lot easier and it didn’t go to probate.

Just so people know, it's not having a will or not that determines whether an estate goes through probate.

No I know and I should have made that clearer.

dh had no assets but he had death in service benefit, work pensions and a private pension, all asked for copies of the will. He was also quite specific about who had what on his will although again this could be over ridden.

its very clear I need to do some reading up on things, its all complicated

Good point, there isn't anything in place.

I have always thought as no property to leave then a will was not necessary.

I have savings under 10 grand.
I do have nhs pension which children are named on for death in service.

I think the cost of making a will puts me off. Although I have never looked into how much it is to make one. /

@blackheartsgirl although again this could be over ridden

Why?

If you make a will and specifally ask for your children to go to a certain family member and not another can that be over ruled?

I am adamant I do not want my youngest dc 16 and 13 to go thier biological father and new wife, the damage he has done over the years to them and he’s also a shit father, they would stagnate there, have no opportunities etc. I want them to go to my eldest son who is also a father (he’s offered) as I know he will look after them.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP. It's never easy dealing with all this admin but it's so much harder when you are grieving. You are so right that it's a considerate thing to do to leave your affairs in good order and let your family know where to find all the important documents. My Dad died recently and had done this, which was a big help. It's still taken months to get things sorted out, though, and not quite there yet.

On the point of whether it's worth making a will, I am not a lawyer. However, the intestacy provisions put into effect what many people would want anyway. It's worth looking at them to check this, though. https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

If you have a spouse/civil partner and/or children, they will be the main beneficiaries. If you have neither, any money you leave goes to your parents, or if they have predeceased you, your siblings or siblings' children if they have also predeceased you, and so on. The administrator of your estate is supposed to check for very remote cousins. If nobody at all can be traced, it goes to the Treasury. If you would prefer to leave your money to a friend or a good cause if you have no close family or you don't want to leave them anything, or you want a different split between family members, it's worth making a simple will. It isn't all that expensive.

There are three cases I can think of where most people would definitely want to make a will to make sure their money goes where they want it to:

• when you are separated but not divorced, as your ex would be in line to inherit everything in many cases, or sharing with the children in the case of larger estates
• when you and your partner are not married and not in a civil partnership. Your partner would not get a penny of any assets you hold in your sole name under the intestacy provisions
• when you have children from an earlier relationship, you have a new spouse/civil partner and you want the children to get all your money, or most of it, not your partner - or you own your home and want your partner to be able to stay in it but on his/her death you want the house to go to your children

Sorry for your loss. My mum died a couple of weeks ago. When we found out three months ago she was dying we went and got a will sorted and power of attorney/executor of will. She gave me her password to her phone/email/bank app and I'm aware of exactly what she'd be due in terms of life insurance, private pension which she missed by a couple of weeks etc. It has defo made things easier.

Having had to administer a few estates in my family I must admit I now feel not leaving a will is really selfish.

None of my relatives left much, they rented and had a few bank/building society accounts but so many institutions just find things easier with a will, the estates where I had a will ok far less time and mither for me to sort.

My will (nothing complicated, certainly no art collections or heirloom jewellery) is quite simple, cost £120 10 years ago but needs updating.

My mum died this year and despite her voicing her intentions for her assets never made a will. She was particularly insistent on a share going to the dgc, but without being legally obliged it was split according to intestacy rules. My sister has spent all her shares, there's not a penny left for my nieces.

It's become really important to me to streamline stuff. I'm in the process of closing some savings accounts, closing my never-used credit card. I'm compiling a list of all my direct debits and utilities etc, with account/policy numbers etc.

It's ironic how we document our lives but fail to prepare for the inevitable (leaving all the crap to our nearest and dearest to wade through after our death).

I'm very interested in the sweedish death cleansing approach.

I would really appreciate a sensible way to set up my financial affairs to make things easy after I die. I won't write down a list of passwords, that would be stupid, but a sensible way to release details that can only be triggered after my death would be welcome.

I am adamant I do not want my youngest dc 16 and 13 to go thier biological father and new wife,
Is he named on their birth certificates?

Sorry for your loss OP.

I listen to the Meaningful Money podcast and one thing he mentions every so often is having a financial information sheet, reviewed annually or whenever there are significant changes, that lists key information about where you have accounts, what assets you have etc. They do have a template but I can't find it on the website, it might be that you need to register to see it.

Moneysaving Expert also has a guide to 'what to do when someone dies' that goes through financial issues as well as other matters.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/