Repaying child benefit - HOW

[Spottyblobby]

Last night it exploded in our house because DP received a letter from HMRC regarding the higher income child benefit charge.
For context I have 2 children, 1 is his and we have separate finances, he is the main earner, pays mortgage & council tax (the big bills). I am the lower earner & take care of the smaller costs, utility bills, food shops, childcare, kids bits (clothes, school trips etc). I had no idea he was a higher earner, did not do any of the remortgage forms where I would see his gross earnings, I just filled in the child benefit forms when the kids were born & that was that.
I apologised that I had gotten him in trouble with HMRC, said I would cancel my claim, call and sort everything out & set up a plan to repay what I need to. But it’s so complicated & I don’t know where to start, they need his earnings each year, including from interest???? I thought that was when you took a loan out & interest cost you money, how can you earn from it. They need pension payments for him, they won’t accept anything from me & I just don’t know how I’m going to sort it out. He is so good with money & all over the Martin Lewis stuff so I thought he would know if he was supposed to repay anything & of course I would give it to him if I took more than I should have I just don’t know how to resolve it. Anyone else been here what do I do.

A few years ago I split with DH, during the split he contacted me as had received a letter from HMRC - same scenario, I had been claiming CB but unbeknown to me he was earning over £60k for the last few years... he had a bill to pay back. He wanted me to contribute but I rang HMRC and they told me I'd done nothing wrong - HE was the high earner, HE should have advised them and paid a higher rate of tax.
Whatever you decide re culpability please carry on 'claiming' the CB as this could affect your state pension (depending on your earnings)
You then either ' claim' it but dont take the money or he pays it back via his tax code... look into it on Martin Lewis website

Sounds like you have far bigger problems in your relationship than child benefit payments OP if you think like that.

Give him the forms, tell him you can't sort it out without the relevent info and that's that.

@Spottyblobby this time last year I could have written your post word for word. It was an awful shock when dp showed me the letter he had received. I felt so ashamed and that I had been doing something dodgy. He was so angry, probably pretty much the same way your dp has reacted.
He paid a lump sum and had to pay a higher tax and didn't I know all about that
Things did get better though. After Xmas I started job hunting, he does shift work and even though my kids are older (youngest is 12) it's always been difficult for me to work cos of never knowing what shift he would be on that week. Anyway I started working nights at Tesco and have been doing it for 8 months. The hours I do means it doesn't affect anyone (my eldest is 18 so if dp is working he's around)
For the first time in years I feel good about myself, I do 5 night shifts a wk and feel that I'm now financially independent.
What I do want to say as well is that after reading everyone's comments I know now that I wasn't to blame and it wasn't solely my fault. Also I feel angry about how shitty he made me feel.
So don't you either
I still have no idea how much he earns so not much changed in that respect
Kiss and hug to you xx