Is £1800 a ‘decent wage’?

[Laurendzx]

We have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. I could only afford to take a very short maternity leave this time and was back to work within a few months just to try and pay the bills. I’m obviously not able to work as much as I used to due to childcare so I’m working nights/weekends/hours around when I have childcare. I’m having 4 hours sleep some nights just trying to keep everything afloat. I’m permanently exhausted and running myself into the ground trying to do everything (as well as most of the household jobs).

My husband has his own business with his business partner. They have been working together for quite a few years now and are making a good amount of money. However they agreed at the start not to take ‘too much’ until they’d built the business up (which they now have) so they take just under £1800 per month. This would be fine if we were able to cover our costs with this. I have a pot of money that I use to pay my tax bills and have had to just about drain it in the last few months just to stay afloat. I repeatedly ask my husband if he can please take more as I’m majorly making up the shortfall every month but instead of doing it he goes off on a rant about how we live outwith our means and shouldn’t have moved house 3 years ago 🤔 He says £1800 is a decent wage and how much do I want him to be making? as if that’s loads.

Is it just me or is £1800 below the kind of average salary for a main earner mid-30s? I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to expect him to take £2000 or £2200. We literally can’t afford to put the heating on half the time 🤦🏻‍♀️

My DH takes exactly this every month too and also has his own business. It was very tight when we had two kids in nursery. However he will sometimes take extra eg for home improvements.

If you put your child into full time childcare and worked normal business hours, instead of crippling yourself, then dh would have greater costs to fund, so would surely be motivated to earn more.

No it's only just a little above minimum wage. Your DH is being very mean if you need more to manage through the Winter and with Xmas. I'd be asking if he could work more hours, get a PT job to supplement.

Do you think he could be taking out extra in dividends and then keeping it from you?

It’s way more than minimum wage. That’s under £19000 before tax, this is £1800 a month take home.

It's not enough
I struggle on paying everything on £1650pm and that's just me (mortgage, bills, food etc)

The UK living wage is £12 an hour, your DP is taking home 13.25ish (assuming a 37.5hr week; less if he works more).

I wouldn't consider a wage that is generally considered to be the bare minimum for people to support themselves in this country to be a 'good' wage, especially with a family.

No it's not really enough for a family of 4 IMO. Is it that the business isn't making enough money? You shouldn't have to give up on sleep to be able to make ends meet, that's just not sustainable.

1800 take home is fine, imo, if you are putting plenty before that nett amount into a pension.

It’s a low wage and it’s clearly not fine because there’s no money for heating.

But this was his wage when they decided to have kids.

But this was his wage when they decided to have kids.

So? Costs have increased hugely from a few years ago. Regardless, it’s not sustainable for OP to live how she is.

How long has he been taking that figure as a wage? The living wage was increased by 10% this year so he and his bp should be reviewing their own (and any other staff wages) with that as a starting point (and that’s just based on figures this year, he clearly hasn’t been bothered about his wage keeping pace with the col for the last couple of years).

His moaning about decisions three years ago when the economy looked entirely different is pointless and frankly I’d be irritated. There’s nothing useful about looking back when the issues are in the here and now.

I'm assuming that you are also earning the same or more?

So a combined household income of £3600 a month? It's not luxurious, but it's a long way from the breadline.

The biggest issue for me is that you seem to be doing all the childcare and working around it, and are exhausted. I think you both looking at how childcare is being managed would be useful, making sure that you are both doing your bit and that each person's combined childcare/work commitments are manageable.

@Laurendzx - ah, given that you have sen the amount of surplus cash- tell him that you need him to take £2200 every month because this is very unfair on you - and you cannot manage given your current finances. Set your expenses out on paper or a spreadsheet for him to look at.

£1800 is 'not' a good wage unless you have very low rent/no mortgage, no vehicle finance , no debts at all, don't ever go on holiday etc and are single or have a partner earning full time similar money too

Given that you have 2 children, it doesn't make sense to work full time for maybe a couple of years due to childcare costs.

Ask him to explain why the money needs to just 'lie there' building up. Maybe he gets a big buzz from seeing a big balance in the business account.

Everything's relative, but considering he's his own employer, no, that wage is crap. Particularly if you have taken a shorter maternity leave and are running yourself ragged.

How much do you earn?

I think 1800 is a decent wage.

I do think an extra £100 a month would be good due to the rising cost of living but when you have your own business you do need to put a lot of the money back into the business.

Surely if they could both afford to take more then they obviously would?

Why is your work affected by childcare (hours? Availability?) But his isn't (assumption)? If I've got that right you need to close that gap. Earn more money yourself rather than rely on him.

I'm not saying that this is the case for the OPs husband, as we don't know what sort of business they are running, but just because there's cash in the business account doesn't mean its available to dip in to.

Business have costs, suppliers to pay, VAT to pay to HMRC, corporation tax payments to make, PAYE to pay over to HMRC. A business turning over a milion could have quarterly VAT payments of £40k-ish, payments on account for Corp tax of £10/20k, PAYE/NI of £3/5k just for the two of them. And that's without supplier payments that could be £10/50/100k a quarter.

There might be £200k in the business account but the cashflow might not support higher salaries. Or, it might. We don't have enough info to say...so £1,800 a month net might be unreasonable, or it might be all the company can afford. I'd take a look at a P&L if I were the OP

My DS earns that amount. He lives at home as he can't afford to move out. So no it's not a good salary for a family of 4.

This is a valid point. If this is his business he has more scope to arrange his hours to suit (type of business allowing) so if he doesn’t want to take a higher wage he can reduce child care costs whilst you’re working.

What are your household costs? - an average over the year, not just what your monthly bills are.

What is your plan to repay your tax account? You shouldn’t have taken money out of that.

If your household income is not enough to pay the household bills, then one of two things needs to happen (or a mix of both):

1. earn more between you both
2. cut costs

You’re focused on 1) - and you’re probably right - and he’s convinced 2) is possible.

You need to show him the household figures, and if he still thinks there are savings to be made, he needs to be the one to do the legwork.

Overall he sounds either clueless or miserly. Which is it?

It's not enough, 2 adults 2 children mortgage/rent childcare expenses, household bills, car payment. He needs to take more.
You cannot sustain working silly hours and coping on 4 hours sleep. Normal hours and a child care bill means he needs to take more and pay half the childcare.

So basically, you are subsidising his business partnership with another person, to enable it to 'develop'..? Do you have an actual recognised legal interest in the business? Meanwhile, you are running the household, plus working yourself. There's something fundamentally wrong here. You're becoming exhausted and ill. It isn't sustainable. Please, think carefully about where your line in the sand is and act; before you sink.

Does he take dividends?

Your husband clearly isn't at the sharp end of doing the shopping, paying the bills etc.
A very simple tool to demonstrate what he SHOULD be paying himself AS A MINIMUM is the Bank of England inflation calculator. You don't say exactly how long ago they started their business but I assumed 2018 - on that basis £1800 then would be the equivalent of £2243.11 today.

https://www.bankofengland.co.uk/monetary-policy/inflation/inflation-calculator

That would be a start for the conversation.....

Also don't look at the balance in the biz account - that might be put aside for rents, wages, VAT, corporation tax etc. You need to look at the profit and loss account. How much is the biz making after all the costs are taken off? My DH generally has 3/4 a year's profit or more in his biz accounts (he has a savings one that pays more interest and a current account for day to day) he has that much because he often needs to buy equipment/parts up front and still needs to keep VAT/tax in hand.