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Original poster

Ex husband stole FSM voucher

34 replies

SaviourofSchoolUniform · 06/09/2023 10:51

Need advice. My ex husband looked after my son in May whilst I was in hospital, so he changed my email for the school to his.
I didn't know this, and the Free School meals voucher was sent to his email and he cashed it in at Asda. It was £117 so not small change. I asked him for it back even if it was just given to DS as spending money when we went on holiday. He's blanked me.
The school and council have said they can't do anything.
Technically it's benefit fraud and an offence, so would you go to the police? Or should I just leave it? It makes me so cross as he's taken money from my son, and not even told me. No "I think I got this by mistake" I know he got it because school toldbe the number it had been redeemed on which is his phone number.

OP posts:
WuTangGran · 06/09/2023 21:23

Report it to the police.

AnIndianWoman · 06/09/2023 21:25

Report it to the police, hmrc and social services. This is a red flag for worse behaviour down the line

Olika · 06/09/2023 22:01

Disgusting behaviour. Report him.

WitchFire · 06/09/2023 22:03

Contact the police. It's theft.

Arthurnewyorkcity · 06/09/2023 22:34

At that moment in time he was main carer for your son whilst you was in hospital? He correctly told the school to contact him on his email. School could still message you both.
The money was meant to provide your child with the meals they would get, presumably your son was fed when with his dad? If your son was happy and looked after whilst you was in hospital then I'd do nothing.

fairyfluf · 06/09/2023 22:36

Did he use it to feed your child while he was looking after him?

MockneyReject · 06/09/2023 22:37

Presumably, the voucher was for the summer holiday? Was he back with you, then?

fairyfluf · 06/09/2023 22:37

And would he have been eligible if he'd applied?

elliejjtiny · 06/09/2023 22:37

Was the voucher meant to feed your son while you were looking after him or his dad? If it was you then it should go to you and he's stolen it.

Ohthatsabitshit · 06/09/2023 22:39

Depends if you had ds for the period the FSM covered.

sashh · 07/09/2023 04:02

Police.

Then the DWP, as you said it is benefit fraud.

If you don't get anywhere then local press.

Does he work? If you get nowhere with the police and DWP then I would consider contacting his employer.

You can also take him to the small claims court. You can do it for free if you are on a low income.

What sort of man takes money intended to feed his child?

AuntieEsther · 07/09/2023 04:42

Police won't do anything about this. That would just be a waste of time. Nor would the DWP. The child was in his care and the voucher was sent to him. Nobody will get involved to adjudicate what it was spent on.

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 07/09/2023 04:45

He took a cheque from your house and cashed it. That is theft. Go to the police.

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 07/09/2023 04:51

Sorry I miss read your post. Was the cheque to use on school lunches?

Asyousayit · 07/09/2023 05:06

I had problems with my ex calling the school daily and wanting to speak to my sons teacher and check his attendance, exam results etc out of spite to me even though he was a dead beat dad. I told them not to give him any information but they told me as he has parental rights they couldn't refuse him UNLESS there was an intervention from police or ss. So I'd highly recommend going to the police to log it, get a case number then inform the school that he shouldn't be allowed to change any information as he committed a crime using your child. Also I'd call ss and dwp aswell because if he done that for £117, what's to say he didn't apply for other benefits in that time period?

sashh · 07/09/2023 06:18

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 07/09/2023 04:51

Sorry I miss read your post. Was the cheque to use on school lunches?

It's for over the summer holidays so children on FSM don't go hungry.

They are also known as HAF codes, they can be spent in a supermarket or, near me, there was a 4 week programme of activities that included lunch each day alongside a school of rock, a 'beach' face painting, dance classes, art activities.

So basically the father is happy to let his child go hungry.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/holiday-activities-and-food-programme/holiday-activities-and-food-programme-2021

Holiday activities and food programme 2022

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/holiday-activities-and-food-programme/holiday-activities-and-food-programme-2021

AuntieEsther · 07/09/2023 06:36

Asyousayit · 07/09/2023 05:06

I had problems with my ex calling the school daily and wanting to speak to my sons teacher and check his attendance, exam results etc out of spite to me even though he was a dead beat dad. I told them not to give him any information but they told me as he has parental rights they couldn't refuse him UNLESS there was an intervention from police or ss. So I'd highly recommend going to the police to log it, get a case number then inform the school that he shouldn't be allowed to change any information as he committed a crime using your child. Also I'd call ss and dwp aswell because if he done that for £117, what's to say he didn't apply for other benefits in that time period?

1- there is no crime so you can't log it as one
2- the school can't decide not to share information even if you give them a spurious crime number
3- this has nothing to do with social services

AuntieEsther · 07/09/2023 06:37

So basically the father is happy to let his child go hungry.

yes. He's an arsehole. But he's also a parent with PR who was caring for the child and he's spent the vouchers. What he spent them on is not within the remit of the police or DWP to investigate.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 07/09/2023 07:17

Firstly I'd inform the school of what's happened and ensure that all correspondence is also sent to you. They can't stop informing him, but they can ensure you are also informed.

If there's nothing you can do to get the money back, I'd be letting friends and family know on social media, tbh I'd make his life hell for this as he's essentially taken food away from his child. I'm not normally one for dirty laundry in public, but for this I'd make an exception. Also any goodwill has with him would go down the pan.

Original poster
SaviourofSchoolUniform · 07/09/2023 07:20

No I was out of hospital in June. Even so he earns good mobey

OP posts:
MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 07/09/2023 07:21

Did he go hungry? What does son say it was used for? Where you planning on it to be holiday spending money not food money?

sashh · 07/09/2023 07:23

AuntieEsther · 07/09/2023 06:37

So basically the father is happy to let his child go hungry.

yes. He's an arsehole. But he's also a parent with PR who was caring for the child and he's spent the vouchers. What he spent them on is not within the remit of the police or DWP to investigate.

But the vouchers are for the holidays, NOT when the OP was in hospital.

Original poster
SaviourofSchoolUniform · 07/09/2023 07:25

I was in hospital for 4 weeks and told the DWP this.

OP posts:
AuntieEsther · 07/09/2023 07:51

sashh · 07/09/2023 07:23

But the vouchers are for the holidays, NOT when the OP was in hospital.

Show quote history

Yes, like I said he's an arsehole but nobody is policing how parents spend these vouchers. No crime has been committed and no fraud.

Ohthatsabitshit · 07/09/2023 07:57

Did you have your child over the holidays or did he?