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Original poster

going on holiday whilst in debt

154 replies

thewearyone · 03/09/2023 22:28

Hi,

Me and dh has our lightbulb moment in July 2020 and realised that our debt was totally out of control. We set ourselves a target to be debt free by July 2026 - 5 years.

We have been so disciplined and have made great progress. We have paid off 36K in 3 years. We haven't once used a credit card, store card etc and this has become our new norm. We have also been able to build an emergency saving fund.

Next year a very close family member has a 'big birthday' and has invited us to join them on a special holiday. It will cost us 4K. We have settled for UK camping trips since starting our debt free mission and the plan was that we would not go abroad until is was all paid off.

I desperately want to go on this holiday. I have spoken to my dad about it ( he is going on the holiday) and he has offered to pay our 4K for now and then we will repay it when all of other debt is cleared. I am so tempted to do this.

would it be awful of us to do this?

OP posts:
Janieforever · 04/09/2023 09:54

It’s a huge amount of debt the op and her partner has. It’s 12 grand a year for 5 years, so that’s what, 60 grand? Encouraging her to take another 4 grand, which is real debt, no idea what a pp was on about saying it wasn’t, and it won’t be paid until 27 is appalling.

they can’t afford it. They will still be in debt next year when they take it out to the tune of over 30 grand. Plus there will be more costs during rhe trip, the lead up to it. So 4k is just the start.

sleepyscientist · 04/09/2023 10:01

What is your debit as a proportion or multiple of your yearly income? Was 5 years a reasonable time to pay it off? We have lost family young that we didn't expect, all we have is memories of them now it's those memories we hold onto and cherish not the sizeable inheritance.

I would go on the holiday but I wouldn't borrow for it if you can help it. It sounds like you are making over payments on the 30k you have remaining, could you take around 420 off the payment every month for the next year to give you the money plus some spending money.

Also long term look at where you want to be financially and why. Their is no point being the richest person in the grave yard. If that means it takes you 10 year to clear the debit but you have an life and memories with family so be it. The problem isn't debit it's badly managed debit.

ButterCrackers · 04/09/2023 10:22

This exactly.
Edited - I’m in agreement with the posters who have written that if you have to go into debt for something then you can’t afford it.

Uterusbegone · 04/09/2023 11:00

So you have paid of 36k in 36 months - would you be happy that going on this holiday will basically put you back by 4 months?

Not a chance I would go, I would just say thanks for the invite but we can't afford it

Aubree17 · 04/09/2023 11:48

I would go.
On the provision you were able to cash flow it and not borrow the money from either your dad or a lender.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 04/09/2023 12:45

I think I'd be wary of the psychological/emotional aspect and the slippery slope tbh.

If you make an exception here then I think it'll be harder to resist the next "must do" or "must have" thing.

ruffler45 · 04/09/2023 12:48

She has another 2 years to go before she repays the original debt, a lot can happen/can change in 2 years

TerrorOwls · 04/09/2023 12:53

Go. Life is too short and you have to have some things to enjoy especially if it involves family connections.
Just make sure it doesn't act as a gateway to careless behaviour and enjoy these rare occasions.
Your attendance is obviously wanted so go with it.

irregularegular · 04/09/2023 13:00

I'm not sure.

I wouldn't do it just for a holiday, that can easily be delayed a few years and saved up for after you have paid off your debt. However, I would consider it if this was a genuine one-off. not-to-be-repeated opportunity to share in a really special trip with people who are very important to you. Yes you are in a lot of debt, but you are paying it off at a very good rate and this £4k spend would not delay it that much, provided (crucially) it doesn't change your attitude more generally ie other than this you stick to your schedule.

You should also consider whether there is another cheaper way for you to celebrate this big birthday with this family member. A really special weekend away?

And I agree with those who say it is pretty outrageous for this person to ask people to spend this sort of money!!! And it does rather make me question whether they are worth it...Our houshold net income is pushing 200k. We have never had any debt. I don't think I've ever yet spent £2k per person on one holiday (though we are certainly getting close, especially now we have started holidaying without kids)

ruffler45 · 04/09/2023 13:01

A few days of possible happy memories (you can get those later) against the worry of possibly years of debt ahead. No brainer - debt comes first

userxx · 04/09/2023 14:10

I'd go on the holiday, you've done well paying off so much debt. Enjoy it then get back on the frugal bus.

purplecorkheart · 04/09/2023 14:18

Personally I wouldn't. 4k is probably only going to be the start of the debt unless you are going to go all inclusive and even then you are likely to run up more expenses. If everyone is going on a boat trip will you and your dh be happy to say no and not go. What about clothes/travel Insurance/Aiport parking/Transfers etc.

SecretShambles · 04/09/2023 14:44

It could be the thin edge of the wedge. I don't know, I'd be tempted but would it feel a but like when you break a diet ( and then all bets are off)

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 04/09/2023 15:01

Is it all inclusive or will there be food and drink on top? Will you all need holiday clothes. Oh everyone else is going in the airport lounge, on the boat trip, to the water park.

Yes, op needs to be realistic about what the total cost is likely to be. Could be nearer £6k when eating out, entertainment, excursions, taxis etc are taken into account.

Yetmorewashing · 04/09/2023 15:37

OP will your dad struggle by giving you the 4k? What is your overall relationship like? I would personally go because you have paid off so much already. I have been in debt had to pay that off whilst saving for a house deposit so we could get a mortgage. If my parents offered this to me i would take it as my mental health suffered and felt like I needed a bit of a break. Friend of mine has done similar for her child as they have shown commitment of regular payments and the debt was because of a bad divorce

Amboseli · 04/09/2023 18:00

Do it. You're on the right track with paying off your debt and it's your dad so presume he won't charge interest?

We've got debt but we always go on a family holiday abroad every year. I don't regret a penny of it. The memories are priceless and last a lifetime and you can never get the time back. Once it's gone it's gone.

I'd go with no hesitation. But then I'm comfortable with debt as long as we can afford the monthly payments which we can.

marshmallowfinder · 04/09/2023 18:08

Any decision OP?

Original poster
thewearyone · 04/09/2023 19:05

marshmallowfinder · 04/09/2023 18:08

Any decision OP?

I am still mulling it over!

OP posts:
bingobongos · 04/09/2023 19:17

Life is for living, time and those we care about are precious. It's a one off. Your dad is lending you the money in full knowledge it'll take you a while to pay him back. It sounds like a lovely trip with people you love. Enjoy it.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 04/09/2023 20:06

So you're paying off about £1000/month.
Is the holiday/celebration worth an extra 4 months until you are debt free?

LovelyBoy2023 · 12/09/2023 10:44

For me I think it would depend on how old you/family are - is this likely to be a one-off never to be repeated opportunity that you would be sad to have missed if you lost family members.
The location of the holiday (I am a bit shallow!).
If you are going to do it - I would definitely pay for yourselves so you are slowing your debt repayment rather than borrowing from your Dad - I think it is psychologically better/less likely to lead to a total 'diet' breakdown.
And also as someone said - would only do it if your partner also wants to

Zipps · 12/09/2023 10:56

Sounds like you have learned nothing and will always find an excuse for getting into even more debt.

sandyhappypeople · 12/09/2023 11:09

For the people saying life’s too short, you can make lovely memories with family without having to spend £4K, I’m amazed something would be organised like this and people invited to it with the expectation of attendance, unless the rest of the people atttending are quite well off of course.

LinesAndDot · 12/09/2023 12:27

If I was in your shoes, and I REALLY wanted to go, my thoughts would be as follows:

  1. you seems to pay off £12,000/ year off the debt, so this is 3 months of savings for one holiday.
  2. you have paid off £36,000 of debt and this month will pay off another 1,000. Can you remember what you bought with that 1,000 pounds 3-4 years ago? If so, was it worth it? If faced with the decision or the cash now, would I buy the same thing again? In 3 years time (2026) how will I feel about this holiday?
  3. can I do it cheaper? £4K is a lot. Can I do it for £3k?
  4. If it means so much to me, can I (and/or partner) get a side job and earn the extra £4K to go to the holiday. So not borrowing it from Dad and not touching the regular repayments, but working extra hard on the side to justify the treat.
ThunderCloudsinSumer · 12/09/2023 20:29

@thewearyone

Op if this was you and dh. Fancying this I would personally say no.

However can your dad comfortably afford to give you this money? If he can without any detriment to his own standard of living, savings I would absolutely take it.
It sounds like he wants you to be there? To enjoy this as a family?..
.
Things like this are worth more than money. In this case if he can absolutely afford it graciously thank him and go and have a good time.