Partner moving in temporarily- how to manage the £?

[Toadsnotfrogs]

A change in his living arrangements has meant that he will be staying with me for the best part of 6 months. He’s having some major building work done, the house will be uninhabitable and he lives 90 mins away, but he also works away a lot too so he won’t be here 100% of the time.

How do we best manage expenses and money etc? His income is peaks and troughs but it is solidly double mine. Plus if he wasn’t here he would have to rent somewhere.

I own my house solely and have my 3 kids and the dog here too. And his doggy comes with him, whom I will be minding when he’s away.

I had no plans whatsoever to live with him or anyone frankly, until my children were older (all KS3 at the moment.) and we are both clear that this is a temporary thing.

All advice and ideas are very welcome.

I would make sure he does his share of chores too - eg if you cook he washes up etc

maybe he could take you all out for dinner a couple of times a month ?

when the bills comes , hand him the slip and charge 50%, he can buy food every second week of the month

Well to be honest with you, if he did I'd DEFINITELY go to a short term let instead!

I would say a straight 50:50, even though you have three children. It'll still be cheaper for him than renting somewhere.

Half the bills and his share of food

Plus I'd suggest him paying for sone extras -like cleaning or Netflix or sky as a general treat for everyone (if you can have it 6 months)

His stuff goes into storage unless it's just normal amounts of clothes?

Document the agreement and both sign and date. Agree it will be revisited in 6 months.

I think I'd sit down with him and ask for 50% of all bills, water, gas, electric, council tax, food. You should have an idea of what you spend a month on this already.
I don't think I'd charge rent but I would add on any single occupier money for having 2 adults under one roof, plus an extra £150 a month for a cleaner so his presence didn't mean more work for me! Ballpark figure - maybe £700 a month, depending on your individual bills? He is still saving considerable amount of cash.

Sounds like you are uncomfortable with it . I wouldn’t do it .

@TeaKitten Why should he be paying for her kids to use electricity and eat...?

Because he won't be paying rent.

Does it effect any benefits?

Exactly. What would he do if he wasn't dating OP? The fact he hasn't spoke upon money is an Amber flag.

6 months is a long time to be a guest though. A weekend you pay for a takeaway. A week a dinner, a takeaway plus a gift for host. I would never put someone out for a month never mind six months!

Id say he pays for the food shop whilst there if your kids eat like mine that will be verging on to 1k a month which is equivalent to room rental plus bills elsewhere. Set up an online shop so you can get everything you need he pays. Use the savings on food bill to pay for extra council tax/ bills and a monthly treat for the kids to thank them for their patience and understanding.

I think the other thing is - what has he offered?

Yes he stuff needs to go into storage. We're had to temporarily move out of ours and all our stuff is in storage and it's amazing how much stuff you don't actually need.

I'm assuming he is still paying his mortgage when during the works?

I'd say he needs to cover food and something towards the bills and obviously his dogs expenses.

If he's your partner you shouldn't be profiting from him staying but you should not be out of pocket either!

I'd also think he should be showing his appreciation by a weekend away after this is all over

What has he suggested? Might it be more than your thinking? If he was one of your kids what would you charge him? The double or triple that.

Well I wouldn’t charge him any ‘rent’ as such as he’s a partner and it’s temporary.

plus you offered.

I’d maybe ask for a extra £100/£150 a month to cover any food, water and electric he uses while he’s there.

For dog care alone he'd be looking at £35-£40 per overnight stay when he's away, so you're saving him hundreds just with that.

Then there's the bills, food and some kind of "rent" (where else would he be living rent-free?).

Most importantly, he should be offering you a significant payment, even if you decide to take less.

Because if this situation doesn't positively affect you and your kids home environment (including financially) why would you do it?

I see someone else said £700 a month, I was going to say £500, but I’m NE. I reckon this would cover his share, and would only be the cost of a house share in a northern city with bills and food on top, but probably more space and privacy.

In one breathe you say you offered, and in another you're saying you feel put-upon.

Confusing all round I'd say...

I agree but it was OP that offered and said And I’ve been very clear he’s here as my guest

You've invited him in oh dear.. You're going to find it hard to chuck him out now.

You absolutely must charge him something that he calls "rent" on the payment. There needs to be some trail that he does not have a right to your property.

I would suggest he pays for his food. And perhaps £20 a week towards increased energy.

If you didn't want him and his stuff you should have asked him to move in

Oh dear.. did you use those words? He's probably not expecting to pay anything then!!

I learned the hard way that temporary stays can stretch well beyond their welcome.
Are you claiming reduced council tax? That will be affected as well as utilities, food, wear and tear etc.
Personally I would never offer or agree again.

You should ideally have a short written cohabitation agreement. You also need to ensure he is not building up an equitable interest in your house through doing repairs - look up the case law on that on line. I would do a short agreement with him (or get a solicitor to draft it for you ) which would have a start and end date and that he is there under a temporary licence -perhaps have a fee eg for the extra 25% council tax you will have to pay and other costs, dog food etc and set it all out in the agreement. I would have thought something like £400 a month would be a good idea. Do not let him pay any of the mortgage as that in particular can help someone prove they have an equitable interest in the home.

@Zippedydodah 'I learned the hard way that temporary stays can stretch well beyond their welcome.'

Oh God! You've just reminded me, in about 1998, boyfriend of the time asked if he could stay in my spare room as he'd sold his house, new one wasn't due to be ready for another 6 weeks. I foolishly said yes, no problem.

He did exactly that. Cancelled the purchase and assumed he could stay. Didn't bother to discuss it. And he never paid for anything. He kept going to the fridge and saying 'Why is there any cheese?' (Err - because you haven't bought any!!!). He doubled my electricity bill and was permanently on my phone.

After 12 weeks, when he finally admitted he'd cancelled his house purchase, I turned the heating down to 15, left the fridge empty and presented him with a bill for 12 weeks food, electricity, council tax and phone.

He left the following weekend. The end of another relationship 😂

A good friend and her partner moved in for ‘2 weeks maximum’ while their house was damp proofed. 8 weeks later and having not contributed one penny, cooked a single meal or even offered, I kicked them out. Learned my lesson!