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Original poster

Parents say it’s none of my business- WDYT

58 replies

Reva41 · 06/05/2023 11:36

Hi

my parents are early/mid 70’s. I’m 42 and my sister is 39. We all get on well.

ive just found out that my parents have been helping my sister out financially. She got into a real financial mess and was at a low point. They transferred some of the debt into their name using credit cards and a loan. My sister pays these bills via direct debit from her account so she is paying it. It just made it more manageable for her.

I only just found this out. I understand them wanting to help but I can’t help but feel that it’s Taking advantage of them.

I told my dad my views and he was cross with me, telling me it’s none of my business and that they are happy to help her. Apparently they’ve even discussed what would happen if anything happened to them- the existing debt would be paid and my sisters share of any inheritance reduced. Sister is very upset that I’m annoyed.

AIBU and is dad right that it’s not my business?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 06/05/2023 14:18

Reva41 · 06/05/2023 11:36

Hi

my parents are early/mid 70’s. I’m 42 and my sister is 39. We all get on well.

ive just found out that my parents have been helping my sister out financially. She got into a real financial mess and was at a low point. They transferred some of the debt into their name using credit cards and a loan. My sister pays these bills via direct debit from her account so she is paying it. It just made it more manageable for her.

I only just found this out. I understand them wanting to help but I can’t help but feel that it’s Taking advantage of them.

I told my dad my views and he was cross with me, telling me it’s none of my business and that they are happy to help her. Apparently they’ve even discussed what would happen if anything happened to them- the existing debt would be paid and my sisters share of any inheritance reduced. Sister is very upset that I’m annoyed.

AIBU and is dad right that it’s not my business?

Nothing to do with you and they're making sure you're not going to lose out.

What's your problem?

readbooksdrinktea · 06/05/2023 14:22

There is no issue. She's paying the debts, and you're not disadvantaged in any way. I don't understand what your problem is. Your father is right.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 06/05/2023 14:51

OP, why do you think it's your business? You're not being called on to help so why the concern?

It really isn't anything to do with you and your dad has told you this. I'd heed that if you don't want to cause a rift.

Malloryhitops · 06/05/2023 14:54

I would agree with your dad too, it’s none of your business. Don’t get involved. Your sister is lucky they were able to help her out. Sounds like you’ve a great mum and dad. ☺️

Hurryupandleave · 06/05/2023 15:14

Nope, you've clearly been considered (inheritance-wise) and your DP's were happy to help her, which means it should be of no concern or interest to you. Your DP's are grown adults with full capacity by the sound of it and are completely entitled to make their own financial decisions, and also to have separate, and in some instances differing, relationships and arrangements with their DC. I'm sure they would/have helped you in whichever way you needed too OP, it's just that we tend to need different things at different times.

2bazookas · 06/05/2023 15:52

Dad's right. It's none of your business.

If you really think she's taking advantage, you could just repay the debt to your parents.. then Sister can pay you back. Now why didn't you think of that.....

SittingOnTheChair · 06/05/2023 15:57

Yep none of your business.

My parents gave my sibling 60k. None of my business.

Kaylisa · 06/05/2023 16:20

As everyone has said. None of your business

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