If I was younger I wouldn't be having a baby

[JingleBellez]

because childcare costs are sky high, nappies and milk have gone through the roof.

Tell me I'm wrong.

This is where I would support subsidised childcare for those who are on back to work schemes after dc

Because being a SAHP isn’t valued anymore? What we need is more jobs that are flexible and parent friendly. I thought this 40 years ago and nothings changed. Every big employer should have a child friendly stance and create jobs round schools. Flexible - with additional holidays - obviously unpaid - but spread over the year.

@pearlycurly yes exactly, and it worked out well as it meant I was senior enough by the time they were in school that I then had all he flexibility I required which was more necessary when they started school, whilst it's expensive, childcare for preschoolers is more prevalent.

What about if you don't intend spending any money on nappies, milk or childcare?

Unless parents already didn't work prior to having children, or have genuinely free childcare like grandparents, then the loss of income needs to be factored in as a cost if parents are reducing working hours to provide the care themselves.

I agree there should be more flexibility around schools and I think there is much more now post covid with the increase in work from home.

However flexibility around school times doesn’t help those of us with children under school age which is why more subsidised childcare is needed, and is thankfully coming!! I’m not really aware of many barriers to being a SAHM aside from perhaps finances, but there are lots of barriers that could make it difficult for women to work with young children especially in lower paid jobs. Cost being a huge factor.

@Itsanotherhreatday none of my jobs have been flexible I totally agree. I really really needed help in the very early years. I'm because of my earning I got no help but it is quite unfair that the the impact of trying to juggle paid childcare with a ft career (or worse in my case still training so very long hours) plus financial burden of it all is never taken into account. It's often hidden when people have 'free' childcare in the form of family but people like me who had to pay for every minute of childcare really really struggled in the early days.

The way society currently works is based on having future children to eventually pay taxes/cover pensions etc, so I can't understand the attitude in this country of 'how dare anyone who hasn't organised their finances down to the penny has dc'

And the government only support very few people instead of all who have dc and therefore contribute in a positive way to society. Until they decide to change the model, the government truly take the piss with most parents! And the attitude of those that dare to earn more well, that's their silly fault! I'm looking at moving to France now. They actually have a far more positive view of dc in their society.

Tell me something I don’t know.

Of course I know they don’t need new things — used or not, I have a lifestyle I’m used to and I know that a child deserves to be in an environment where their parent isn’t waxing poetic about what they cannot do. Now I personally have several reasons ( genetic , lifestyle & no long term desire ) for not having children but I’ve thought out it and I’m not deluded into thinking it’s a fixed cost.

I’m a major romantic and love is beautiful and powerful but if it was enough 80% of these threads wouldn’t exist.

I want more than the minimum for my kids as I have made more than the minimum for myself. That’s not a wild desire - parents SHOULD want more for their children.

Finances next to communication causes the demise of most relationships — so being able to raise your kid ALONE is a factor more people should consider financially. Factored in the UK doesn’t have free after school programs and summer camps like I did growing up it was a lot to consider in terms of even having a child with happy experiences ( from MY perspective ).

Love can’t pay for emergencies, learning support if needed, their talents and interests, growth spurts, bail ( you may just birth a trashpanda) & I won’t even get into birthing mortality amongst BW.

I understand that money isn’t everything and you can raise a kid happily without it — but wanting some stable financial planning and less risk factors is a super valid reason.

It’s a sign that people are taking agency over their choices. Pregnancy is the time that women are most likely to experience domestic violence — in addition so many people stay in relationships bc they cannot afford life without it. People stay in dangerous or coercive relationships or simply unhappy ones bc they cannot financially afford to leave.

@Ohwhathaveidonenow 😂😂😂