Inheritance when a parent remarries

[TheWonderfulThingAboutTiggers]

So - I completely get it that when a parent remarries, if they die the step parent gets everything... and that may be their choice.

But what is the usual thing if you want to protect your children's inheritance. What stops the step parent living another 20 years and spending it all/giving it to their children?

*although not alleging - need to wear my glasses more!

This is what we are intending to do. You never know what will happen in the future, people change etc.

I would beware of not leaving the surviving spouse sufficient to fund their own care.

DFIL died suddenly but DMIL's care home costs burned their way through a lot of her estate in only a few years. If she had survived another couple of years then she would have had to be moved to a cheaper fully state funded care home. Where she was wasn't the lap of luxury but a cheaper care home would have been far less comfortable.

We have left our estate so that it passes to the surviving spouse unencumbered. I have warned DH (H of 30+ years) that I will come back and haunt him if he decides to take up with a much younger woman and start fathering another set of children.

We are now sorting out our estate to make things as smooth as possible for whoever survives.

I wanted to share my perspective. What others have said is right: Money can be held in trust until the second parent dies. I.e. the surviving parent can keep living in the house.

This happened in my family and there was a 20+ year wait to release the money. However, I don't think that anyone saw this negatively. Everyone was adults at the time of the first death, and it was actually the "new" parent who died and that parent's birth child (half sibling to the 'original' children) had to wait to inherit. The surviving parent never remaried or had any other children (i know people often think about the 'original children' missing out due to a step parent surviving longer). For all children involved, their birth parent was still alive to the end (I.e. rather than a step parent being alive and 'blocking' the inheritance). 'My family' ended up with a relatively lesser share, due to being outside of the Trust (I.e. the 'original' children).

I myself have an older partner who has children (I have no children and don't intend to) so I am the 'step-parent' who will likely 'block' an inheritance. This feels like a tricky one because when I met my partner, they had no money or assets just lots of debt. We have built everything we have together (I'm a much higher earner with 4-5x salary with much less outgoings due to no children). If my partner dies first, the children might feel I'm blocking their inheritance however I feel I have the right to enjoy the assets I built and contributed a majority to, rather than just releasing 'their 50%' (assuming i want 'my 50%' to go to my nieces and nephews).

I don't agree with this assumption that children are 'entitled' to half their parents' estate when the first parent passes, hence we have no trusts in place.

If the surviving spouse wants or needs to move house multiple times, to spend it all on cruises or care homes, DH and I are both happy with that.

The money and property we have acquired is for our comfort in our old age.

The DC will get, fairly split, what's left when the surviving spouse has passed. In our case it is likely this will be quite a lot but I am not intending to restrict our lifestyles to make sure it is. I hope the DC will be happy for us if we have a long life enjoying ourselves, not bitter we are not saving our cash to pass on.

I also don't want an insurance policy to ensure DC get an inheritance. There are enough assets as it is, daft to pay for more. I feel this is in the interests of the person selling the policy.

my parents were married 50 years
ehen my mum died her half was put in a trust for my sister and my son with my dad having the right to live in the house

he Almost went into a care home and if he did the local authorities could only touch his half of the property

as it was he didn’t and passed away so then the house was sold and my sister and son inherited it .

even if my dad remarried the new wife couldn’t touch what was my mums half of the property

if you have a trust that’s created by death you do have to register the trust with HMRC within two years and do a trust and estate tax form each year until the other persons dies / house is sold

All of the above things you mention can and should be dealt with in the will. You talk to new partner, and chikdren aswell so that all are clear what your wishes are.

@ssd
with life interest will
if one person has to go into a care home and the other person has died already and the trust is in place then the LA can only assess on the persons half of the property that they own as they only own 50 percent of the house

Why would you allow this? All these posters saying step mum will get everything. Why not at least try to talk to your parent and get them to stipulate in their will. At least try. If they refuse that's a different issue.

The Grabby is strong with this thread.

I have seen the new partner staying until they move in new partner. But this resulted in the new partner not getting anything as the house was owned outright before marriage so passed to GC and no cash to speak of to leave. Not ideal really for the partner of 15 years getting a net zero as soon as she meet someone. There has yo be a fairer way. A good will is needed. I'm not divorced or remarried but when I right a will I'm leaving my 50% in trust to my kids. I wouldn't risk dh remarking and leaving our kids nothing. That's not something I would trust to anyone

For the record, I'm remarried and my first DC (from first marriage) is to receive the lion's share of my assets - it's all been done properly in a water-tight will.

Sure there's some assholes out there that abandon their first marriage's offspring, but it's far from common I'd say.

You are missing the entire point of this thread. It's not about old people spending or not spending their money. It's about remarrying older couples where the surviving spouse inherits everything and passes it on to THEIR dc upon their death cutting out the other dc. In cases where the subsequent marriage was short, it's so wrong that the dc if the first marriage are cut off whilst the dc of the surviving spouse get everything even when that spouse may have brought little if the finances to the marriage.

No, I am not missing the point as I am the younger, second wife and am referring to my SC as well as my own.

Best way is to set up a trust. Also useful for if either parent needs care. Law my be different in england

Ah yes the younger second wife probably doesn't want the husbands inheritance to go down to his children and would rather spend it on cruises etc as you say. That's the crux of it isn't it. And the husband is likely to choose wife and cruises over kids.

Happened in my family. Husband died, mum remarried. Mum died, stepdad remarried. New wife inherited carefully saved insurance policy from original parents, her daughter inherited everything from everyone. 4 original kids got nothing. All the kids made extremely watertight wills for their own children!

To be fair though - in this stereotypical hypothetical - the second wife has married a man supported him with the expectation he will also support her (as is the point of marriage) has likely been a carer at a time when she also has medical issues (even if younger menopause etc.) and so begrudging her care homes or cruises so the children can have a payout seems a bit off to me.

Re the life interest thing for the surviving spouse. What happens if they want to move house after their spouse has died?

It's not begrudging her fare hikes. It's begrudging her leaving the entire estate to HER dc and cutting out his from his first union. And not just 'her'. It could be of either sex. The point of the thread is surviving spouses cutting out their sdc and leaving everything to their own dc

Care homes not fare hikes

I know! I think referring to your parents money as your inheritance while they are still alive is pretty disgusting.

It's perfectly possible for wills to be set up in ways so that children are guaranteed what their parents want them to have. Maybe some parents deliberately don't because they don't like the attitude of the entitled children who expect their dad's elderly wife of 30 years to make herself homeless for them.

Presumably if your spouse dies before you, you won't cut their dc out of your will and leave everything to your own dc.

I don't intend to disinherit my SC, no, but the folk on this thread seem to assume their SM will.

DH and I are both happy for the survivor to be prioritised to spend our estate Vs giving / saving money to be inherited by the children.

Marriage cancels your will. Make a new one.
Challenging a legal will requires a very good reason.