Inheritance when a parent remarries

[TheWonderfulThingAboutTiggers]

So - I completely get it that when a parent remarries, if they die the step parent gets everything... and that may be their choice.

But what is the usual thing if you want to protect your children's inheritance. What stops the step parent living another 20 years and spending it all/giving it to their children?

Eyes - I would have thought maybe that too but I think that we may be in the minority here!

When anyone remarries, they need to draw up a new will. What they put in the new will, and who they leave their estate to, is entirely their own decision.

New partners often do not do right by step children.

3 of my friends have watched younger New Wife inherit everything, including assets that came from their late Mum’s family, and then leave it all to their own Dc.

Tail- of course. I think people know that. And often partners leave everything to each other understandably. It just seems an (unintended maybe?) consequence that only one set of kids then inherit depending on who "goes" first.

Sorry to hear that Eyes. That's what seems so unfair to me (and may well happen here.)

My will is written to protect my children in case I die first and DH marries someone else.

They will get my rental property, life insurance and one savings account between them in trust till 21. They would have a really hefty house deposit each.

My other insurance policy would clear the mortgage on our family home and I'd have to hope it passed to our DC in the end. Obviously I can't protect everything but my sins will have a decent safety net.

My dad is 20 years older than my step mum. Due to my step mum I rarely see my dad . She will inherit all / after all she is his wife of 20 years . She will leave all to my half sister . I won’t see a penny .
Which is sad as most of the money which set my dad up was from my dear grandmother .

My case is that I am 15 years younger than DH . He Already had 2 children before we had our daughter . I’m pregnant . If he does die first I’ll split his half with his 4 children and my half with my 2 children . This is because his children will also inherit from their mother who has a decent estate.

If a house is jointly owned by Kate and Jeff and Jeff dies- Kate can do what she wants with it .
Unless the house was solely owned by one person ( which is rare when people are married )
That is surely the only way the deceased can dictate how the estate will be split.
Kate owned the house and dies. She has stated that Jeff can stay in it until he dies then it goes to her children etc.

But it is rare one person owns the house . So it’s generally on the good will of the surviving party that they share the profits with step children .

I guess when one person is younger. Like me . The time I die - my step children will be very old . So it might take them 15 years longer to receive inheritance after their dad actually dies.

Hence ne wondering if there's something normally put in wills. But apparently not and this is common 😔.

My grandfather was widowed and remarried. He tried to protect the children by his first wife by drawing up a will according to which his second wife had only 'daily use' (Niessbrauch - this was in Germany) of his inheritance and it was to be distributed evenly among all children on her death.

It half worked - the second wife played favourites and gave away lots of stuff to her own children, but at least everyone got a share of the proceeds from the sale of their home.

Coco sorry about your dad and that you're in a similar situation :(

And yes age differences can make a huge difference can't they.

Same here. DF has pre-deceased my stepmother. She says that it was his wish that when she dies, the estate will be split between me and my sibling and her two DC (my DF’s stepchildren). We know that she has no intention of honouring that wish and that the estate will go to her children in its entirety. It’s particularly galling because she brought nothing to the marriage and contributed next to nothing (and certainly nothing financially) during it.
There’s nothing we can do other than suck it up.

We were in this situation - married older, DC together but DH has children with first wife.

We own our house as tenants in common rather than joint tenants. So own 50/50 and can will our half as we like. We have a lifetime interest in the house though so those inheriting can't evict the survivor.

Our wills basically say that my husband's 50% is split evenly between his children, but my 50% all goes to our joint dc and some charities. I am not leaving anything to my stepchildren as they have their own mother to inherit from.

The money is held in trust until they are of age.

This happened with my dad's dad. They died early 80s but his wife (dads step mum) lived another 17 years. She lived in the house till she died but the house was then spilt between my dad and his many siblings. Her children contested the will but it was watertight. Dads dad owned the house for years before meeting his wife.

So sorry kissed and bumpy.

This seems so common.😔.

hi

not trying to argue here …

@tailinthejam but if you do remarry and you own a house with new partner and have accounts with new partner - they Automatically inherit it and have sole ownership and therefore your wishes for protecting your children couldn’t be void .

You can’t own a house with someone but say when I die it can’t be sold etc. ???? Because it is jointly owned . You would need to have the house in a trust to protect it ? Or own it solely …

Firstly it’s worth knowing that a marriage invalidates any previous wills - so if one’s Dad Zebedee leaves everything to Annie and Bill in his will but marries Cynthia afterwards, Cynthia receives a large wodge under intestacy rules.

the thing Zebedee should do, is give Cynthia a life interest in his house and investments so that she has somewhere familiar to live and an income to keep it maintained and to live off so that she can be comfortable. On Cynthia’s death, the property and investments (which have hopefully increased in value) then revert to Annie and Bill.

Zebedee can of course leave other things or other monies to Annie and Bill and a lump sum to Cynthia that she can do what she wants with if she likes. Not everything has to be in the same wrapped but everyone’s looked after (though Cynthia’s grasping children may be gutted).

In a case like this, what happens if one of you go into a home, how are the fees paid??

I was wondering that too. Suppose parent B dies leaving all to Parent A but with some sort of trust/whatever its called for kids once Parent A dies.

What of Parent A goes into care/nursing or does equity release or any number of situations.

Interesting Trixie calls the children "grasping". Not sure why that is? So many situations above show how it ends up on one side of the family so not exactly "grasping" is it?

The grasping comment was tongue in cheek really but I’m not sure how many step children would agree to vary their parent’s will to return some or any wealth to the children of the original owner or creator of it.

I think it depends on situations really. My sister married a man divorced with adult kids - his will gives children an amount of money/assets on his death with family home (they bought together) and some money to her. They don’t have kids so on her death they would take any that is left of his share (and probably her share. If she were to remarry then her assets may be changed but she would honour his wishes as to his assets going to the kids. Not sure how this is all done legally or whether it is dependent on the partners moral character but I think it helps if the assets are liquid and seperate

I've just had a chat about my will and was advised to set up discretionary fund for my kids as it protects their Inheritance from even the people they marry (if they choose). There are things you can set up. My son is learning disabled and likely to need benefits as an adult, this fund even means it won't affect what he can claim. (Whole different issue tho)!!

OP I suggest you search my threads and read what happened to me when my "step" dad died in 2020 and perhaps show it to the person telling you "don't worry they don't remarry".

My will states that DS gets my half my pension plus all of my share in our house (59%). It states that DH must be allowed to live in the house until he either a) dies or b) remarries at which point he must buy DS out or sell up.

If I die first and DH chooses to remarry, at worst DS might only lose his dads share of our house, but he still gets my share no matter what.

Oh sorry Trixie - misread your comment ad the original kids/people who see their inheritance going to step mums being grassy. Completely misread which person you meant! In our case the other grown up kids are nice enough, but like you say, unlikely to voluntarily give up half a house!

There is something that can be put in wills but it's not common because people are far too trusting that others will "do the right thing".

But money changes folk!

Oh completely. It seems from this thread like men in particular are love struck and think new wife will just willingly share...

Same here. Grandfather put a stipulation in will for his dc thst when step mum died estate shpild go to kids, but apparently that is really hard to enforce (step mum dies 20yrs after him)