Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Fed up of trying to make my pittance wage last the month partly my own fault

42 replies

zez · 09/02/2008 17:57

Hi

I work 2 nightshifts a week in a nursing home but the pay is terrible I get £5.70 per hour.

I do have alot of debts and in total I owe around 10,000 and will be debt free in 9 years.

I feel such a fool and realise I have made some awful mistakes with my spending habits.

Most of the debt is from when I had new windows, and doors the rest was from a few years ago when I discovered credit cards and ran up huge bills on them buying clothes, and toys for my ds.

I have started to feel very depressed as now I realise the situation I have left myself in I have around £260 a month left after I have paid my debts and other expenses.

I could do extra hours at work but I can only do nightshifts and I find the 2 that I do extremely tiring and they make me feel unwell.

Some of you may think £260 is not too bad for the month but if you want your leisure, holidays, clothes, all the nice things in life as well it does not go very far.

I do have a partner but most of his wage is taken up by bills, mortgage, etc he doesn't have any debt and he is always rubbing it in about mine.
I get angry with him for this but realise I deserve it.
He doesn't have a fat lot left from his wage either.

I am getting very worried for the future.
Does anybody else feel like me.

OP posts:
llareggub · 09/02/2008 17:59

Do you and your partner live together?

Original poster
zez · 09/02/2008 18:00

Hi
llareggub
Yes we do.

OP posts:
alfiesbabe · 09/02/2008 18:04

So your DH is paying the mortgage and the bills.... you have run up a lot of debts, work two nights a week and have £260 per month left for yourself after paying your debts and other expenses.....
Sorry but I'm finding it hard to sympathise. That's about 65 quid a week spending money. DH and I work full time and I never have that much to spend on myself. If you want the nice things in life, clothes, holidays etc then it sounds like you'll just have to work more hours

noddyholder · 09/02/2008 18:05

if you paid100 of the 260 the debt would disappear faster

LIZS · 09/02/2008 18:06

That's £65 pw , can you break down how you spend it (honestly) then see what you can cut back on so that you can put aside a fixed amount each month into a separate account towards extras like holiday while still having some left for "nice things". Getting in control of your spending habits may be a step towards feeling more positive.

If you can it might be worth seeing if you can up the payments on the loans to clear them quicker. Did you dh benefit from the windows, if so it seems a bit short sighted to blame you for the debt and not share responsibilty for paying it off.

ruddynorah · 09/02/2008 18:09

what do you have to pay for out of the £260?

Original poster
zez · 09/02/2008 18:24

Hi

Out of the £260 I have to pay for things like clothes, any activites my son attends such as swimming lessons, football, things for the house, any bits of food in the week I also buy my dp clothes occasionally.

My DP didn't want us to have the new windows he thought we would be okay with the old ones a while.

I also try to save £80 a month as I feel that is the least I can do when I have run up so much debt.

That then brings my money down to £180 a month.

Iknow that people will probably think I am lucky if I can save out of it.

OP posts:
nannyL · 09/02/2008 18:36

agree with alfies babe.

if you want more money then you need to work more

lots of people have much less than £65 per week spare

LIZS · 09/02/2008 18:36

"My DP didn't want us to have the new windows he thought we would be okay with the old ones a while." but he shares the house and presumably the bills, which he pays, are lower due to better insulation

Money is always a contentious issue on MN and to have even £180 disposable income does not feel an unreasonable amount . What happens to the £80 you save ? Independent advice from people like CAB might help. tbh you are always better off long term reducing debt than trying to save or spend on non necessities. Maybe you'll just have to compromise on new clothes , activities etc for a while or find a different way of budgetting to kickstart a revised approach but you'll have to get dp onside too.

Miaou · 09/02/2008 18:43

zez I think you are being unrealistic. I have far less than that to spend on my four dcs and it's manageable. However we don't have holidays and everyone has secondhand clothes - you just have to cut your coat according to your cloth.

suzycreamcheese · 09/02/2008 18:45

agree, you would be better, in the long run to get rid of debt quicker rather than save, but i can see why you want to save
the whopping interest charged by credit cards means you pay many times over for goods..

are you near to a credit union, they welcome small regular local savers
sounds a bit 'league of gentlemen' doesnt it!

llareggub · 09/02/2008 18:46

Why then do you and your partner not share your financial affairs? Surely you should be making bills etc together?

I would also suggest that if you want more money and want to reduce your debt quicker, you work more. It is quite simple really.

Flamesparrow · 09/02/2008 18:47

If you cut down the saving by 1/2, cut back on nearly all of the "nice things" (not ALL), you could be debt free years earlier than your 9 years.

Imagine - years less worry. Years less struggle.

A couple of hardish years then freedom vs nearly a decade of not good years?

Original poster
zez · 09/02/2008 18:47

I appreciate what people are saying about working more hours.
However I could never do extra on nights I would not cope with them.

I do feel a bit trapped atm as I can't work a day job due to family committments.

I have struggled with whether to use the £80 on paying debts, or saving it, not sure what to do.

OP posts:
llareggub · 09/02/2008 18:49

What are your family commitments? I have them too, obviously. Many people juggle work and commitments, even where things are tough. Sometimes there is little financial option.

Perhaps work a weekend?

nannyL · 09/02/2008 18:53

sorry but i cant see how you can moan about not having enough money when you work just 2 shifts per week.

money doesnt grow on trees

not sure what you want people on here to suggest?

Original poster
zez · 09/02/2008 18:59

llareggub

I would like to work days and evenings in the work I do.
However the hours would not fit in with getting my ds to and from school, and school holidays.

I don't have anybody available to help out my parents are elderly with health problems and everyone else works.

My dp also has to work sometimes on a weekend early mornings.

OP posts:
MaeWest · 09/02/2008 19:01

At the moment I would pay off debts rather than put money in savings as you are probably paying more interest on your debts than you will earn on your savings.

And I know it's dull, but the best way I have found to keep an eye on spending is to set a budget and stick to it.

KatyMac · 09/02/2008 19:03

Money saving expert says to always pay off debt rather than saving

nannyL · 09/02/2008 19:07

have u done all the 'things'

like changing gas / elec / mobile / broadband / phone / TV to the best deal package etc?... use u switch... one of them gives you £30 cash back

would it help if you switched to a water meter? (that saved me loads, bur cause only me 1 person has a 3 bed house)

change car to a more efficient one that pays lower car tax and used less petrol?

energy light bulbs etc

do the go down 1 brand level on everything and see how much you save. (somethings you wont like and will go back to but other thinsg will probably taste the same)

(sorry feel last post was not very helpful)

Original poster
zez · 09/02/2008 19:17

nannyl

Don't worry about that I realise now that I probably sound like a real moaner when there are people much worse off.

I just don't see £260 a month as much these days especially with things going up all of the time.

My dp has done all of the things you mention he is the one that likes to make sure we are saving money where we can.

OP posts:
Original poster
zez · 09/02/2008 19:19

sorry my last post sounds like I don,t care about saving money.
Thats not the case though my dp just loves doing it himself.

OP posts:
MaeWest · 09/02/2008 19:32

zez - I have less than £260 to spend on the things you mention. Most of my clothes date to pre-pg (so over 2 yrs), my DS wears mostly 2nd hand clothes and we don't have foreign holidays. We also don't go out much.

I thought having kids was supposed to make you skint

alfiesbabe · 09/02/2008 19:37

I hope you dont feel the posts on here have been too harsh, because you're obviously struggling and feeling bad about your debts. But tbh, what you're describing is life in the real world! Lots of us don't have family around to do the childcare and drop the kids at school - so you pay for childcare! That's the reality! It sounds as though you would be much happier doing a normal 9 to 5 job, and even if it wasn't great pay, you'd earn more than you would on two shifts.
You mention only one ds - and he's school age. Which presumably means you'd have a good 6/7 hours a day when he's in school and you're not even paying for childcare - you'd only need before and after care and school holidays!! It just seems a bit odd to be posting asking for advice when presumably at the moment you are at home all day with a ds in school.....

discoverlife · 09/02/2008 19:41

www.moneysavingexpert.com/

Check out this site. But why are you saving money. You will only get a tiny percentage in a savings account compared to what your debts % is. Use the £80 per month to pay off your debt sooner and then save when you are debt free.