Fed up of trying to make my pittance wage last the month partly my own fault

[zez]

Hi

I work 2 nightshifts a week in a nursing home but the pay is terrible I get £5.70 per hour.

I do have alot of debts and in total I owe around 10,000 and will be debt free in 9 years.

I feel such a fool and realise I have made some awful mistakes with my spending habits.

Most of the debt is from when I had new windows, and doors the rest was from a few years ago when I discovered credit cards and ran up huge bills on them buying clothes, and toys for my ds.

I have started to feel very depressed as now I realise the situation I have left myself in I have around £260 a month left after I have paid my debts and other expenses.

I could do extra hours at work but I can only do nightshifts and I find the 2 that I do extremely tiring and they make me feel unwell.

Some of you may think £260 is not too bad for the month but if you want your leisure, holidays, clothes, all the nice things in life as well it does not go very far.

I do have a partner but most of his wage is taken up by bills, mortgage, etc he doesn't have any debt and he is always rubbing it in about mine.
I get angry with him for this but realise I deserve it.
He doesn't have a fat lot left from his wage either.

I am getting very worried for the future.
Does anybody else feel like me.

its probably not worth her working and earning £5.70 an hour and paying childcare

I'm in this situation too except I have 2 kids and earn £5.52 an hour

Then you need to show dp that he could save more by helping you contribute to paying off the debts.

You say you work 2 long shifts but presumably that leaves 5 other days on which you could feasibly do something part-time to add income. If you do/were to do more than 16 hours maybe you'd be entitled to tax credits for childcare, say a cm to do the school pick up. It is possible to change your situation but you have to adjust your expectation to be able to enjoy luxuries many others can't and don't afford.

Unless the interest rate you are getting on your savings is greater than the interest rate you are being charged on your debts (and that is highly unlikely) it is not worth saving at this time other than to have a contingency fund (say £1500?) built up in case of something unexpected happening and you needing money quickly.

chelsygirl she mentioned one child of school age!! Which means that for the bulk of every day there are no childcare costs!! LIZS I agree with you - it's about adjusting expectations. I know some mums who won't work even when their kids are at school because they begrudge paying a childminder for a couple of hours after school and for school holidays. As a mum who paid two sets of nursery fees when my two youngest were pre school PLUS the before/after school care for my oldest, I can't help feeling that some people just don't know when they've got it good.

alfiesbabe

You have struck a note when you say I feel bad about my debts because that is mainly my problem I feel really bad about them and feel as though I have failed my dp and ds by having them.

I would feel happier doing day shifts full time and getting much more money.
Tbh I have never being able to bring myself to leave my ds in the care of others ie childminder etc.

Well, if he goes to school now maybe you just need to accept that as a way forward. Or is there an after school club on site ?

If you work in a care home can you not ofer to work casual hours - if they are short staffed then they could call you and if you are needed then you could go in if you can? Second what everyone else has said I have about £30 a week as my pocket money - no savings and a F%^$ off mortgage etc etc. Am begining to panic about taxing and MOT the car but needs must and will have tax rebate for mileage so it will sort it's self out.
Also second the money saving experite website. snowball the extra £80 a month and see how much quicker you could pay all your debt off. Good luck.

zez - I truly hope i havent sounded harsh, because I can tell you feel bad, and maybe that you have to deal with this burden on your own.
You really would be so much better working day time hours and getting this debt paid off quicker. It's not the best situation, running yourself ragged with night time shifts and then being underemployed during the day time hours when your ds is at school!
Everyone (or certainly everyone I know) finds it hard to leave their children to start with. With dd1 I had no choice but to leave her with a CM at 3 months old because we couldnt afford to live without my income. (And I mean live - ie keep a roof over our heads, food on the table - holidays were an unheard of luxury for many years). I'm fortunate in that I enjoy my work, but the fact remains that finding a CM and leaving your baby with them is tough!!! But children are very resilient, they will cope far better than you. And as your ds is school age, it's really not such a big deal - just somewhere he is for a short time before school and maybe an hour or two after school and then back home to you!
You've posted for advice, and my advice is decide that you are going to start seriously paying off those debts NOW, look for a daytime job and a CM and go for it!! Then before too long you WILL have money to spend on the finer things of life!

Hi
LIZS

There is a after school club on site which I think is available until about 6.00pm.

The trouble with my job is that on a day shift I would have to start at 7.30am and the breakfast club does not start until 8.00am.

I suppose my only option would be a childminder if I want to work the sort of hours that will bring me more money to pay off debts faster and have the luxuries.

and dp couldn't do the drop off ?

He starts work at 8.00am so a bit difficult
Its also in the opposite direction to where he works.

CM is the way forward. DH and I have always had this issue, because we teach, but in different schools to the ones our kids attend. We have to leave for work by 7.30 and are often not back til 5.30/6. If you already have an after school club, you're very lucky indeed

alfiesbabe

I have sat here in the day while my ds has been in school thinking this isn't right.
I feel I should be out there earning more money in the day.

Feel useless sitting at home and what a waste it feels.
I have started thinking about a childminder now there must be ways of increasing my income without it feeling as though I am palming my ds off to others too much.

zez - you can do it - you clearly have the will to want to change how things are. I bet sitting at home during the daytime has made you feel even worse about the debts, because you have time to dwell on it. A job daytime job will keep you busy and earning - and your routine will be much more in tune with your ds's and dp's too which will help enormously, because it sounds as though you're very rundown from the night shifts. Your ds will be fine - and once you start to get those debts under control you'll feel so much better.

zez how old is your ds?

I'm very much like you actually, but thank God I don't have debt, in all other ways you sound similiar to me

If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't bother attempting to save but would pay off my £10K debt asap. You state that you have £260 pm after expenses - I would use the majority of that to pay off the debt. Short term pain for long term gain. I wouldn't even go on holiday since I clearly couldn't afford it. Does your DP not want to help you out at all since your debt clearly impacts the joint household?

can you not get a better paid carers job. nhs auxillary maybe. basic may only be £7 per hr but would would get shift allowance.