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Original poster

Advice re inheritance/purchasing

34 replies

mama2girls0 · 03/02/2023 11:45

Hi there, I have recently discovered I am going to inherit a large sum of money. I am in a pretty happy marriage and we plan to use the money to buy a much needed bigger family home as we have outgrown our family one. However despite our marriage being happy, I wondered if I should be somehow safeguarding the money that I will be investing in any way in the event that we split up or is this perhaps not even possible once married? Could I make sure it goes to the children at the least in the event that we split or anything? Or should I see if I can own a larger percentage of the property? Many thanks

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 03/02/2023 11:53

I would be fairly surprised and upset if my "happily married" partner suggested this to me.

ChicCroissant · 03/02/2023 11:56

The percentage split of property ownership is the only way I can think of doing this really, I don't think post-nups are legally binding. I'm not a lawyer so someone else might be along with a better solution shortly.

Original poster
mama2girls0 · 03/02/2023 13:57

Thanks both. Yes @neverknowinglyunreasonable that's sort of my feeling too, but equally I don't want to be foolish and naive and regret anything down the line and be told 'you should have done x', particularly as it's a large sum of money.

OP posts:
strawberry2017 · 03/02/2023 14:01

I think you can have something legally written that in the sales contract about protecting the money you put in.
I'm not sure how it works but my friend put a bigger deposit in then her husband and she had it ring fenced somehow so it's protected.

Original poster
mama2girls0 · 03/02/2023 14:03

Thanks @strawberry2017 that's interesting and good to know. I'll perhaps speak to a financial advisor.

OP posts:
DemonHost · 03/02/2023 18:29

Men that do this get really roaasted on this site… double standards much.

DemonHost · 03/02/2023 18:31

Maybe your husband will find out your plan, wait for you to get the inheritance and divorce you before you buy the new house and take half in settlement just because you are so scheming.

ChilliBandit · 03/02/2023 18:34

Prenups and postnups whilst not legally binding are taken into accounts by the courts in England and Wales (not sure on Scotland). I would speak to a family solicitor.

Bunnycat101 · 03/02/2023 19:20

You could put some money directly into junior isas for the children. Otherwise I’d see it as joint money within a partnership. How would you feel if your husband had his own inheritance and tried to lock you out of benefiting from it?

Original poster
mama2girls0 · 03/02/2023 19:26

Thanks @Bunnycat101. I absolutely do want my husband to benefit, I'd like our family to all benefit from it greatly. It's just that god forbid in the event that we were split up for any reason I wouldn't want half of an inheritance that my very loved family member had worked hard for and lovingly left me to be taken by an ex-husband. I would feel such guilt apart from anything else about that. I'm just trying to be sensible but at the same time do what's morally right and fair. Anyway with any luck that will never happen.

OP posts:
Blingstar · 03/02/2023 19:30

@mama2girls0 you don't need to justify your actions to anybody on here. Best to speak to a family lawyer for advice on this though. I think you are wise (from someone who was in a 20 year relationship that went pear shaped, you don't know what the future holds).

mrsbyers · 03/02/2023 19:35

I protected my equity (built prior to meeting husband) in new home via a declaration of trust that solicitor dealing with conveyancing arranged for a small fee. I think an alternative option would be to purchase the house and set it up in trust for your children but this is something again a solicitor can advise on.

QueenMabby · 03/02/2023 19:36

If you want to do it via the property ownership then you need to buy as tenants in common rather than joint tenants.

I'll explain. Most married couples own as joint tenants. That means that H owns 100% of the house AND W owns 100% of the house. If one party dies then the surviving spouse automatically owns the whole house.

If you own as tenants in common then each of you owns a separate proportion. This can be 50/50 but doesn't have to be. Each proportion can be separately dealt with and does not automatically pass to the other owner in the event of death.

Take your situation. Say you and H own a house worth £250k and you are getting £250k in inheritance and want to buy a house for £500k.

If you buy as tenants in common in unequal shares then H's share could be 25% (£125k being half of the value of the first home) and yours could be 75% (£375k being half the value of the first home and all of the value of the inheritance). You could then will your share say 50% to H and 50% to your children in the event of your death.

Two things:

  1. If you want to do this, get independent financial and legal advice - it has tax implications and more.
  1. Tread very carefully with your dh. He may feel betrayed. I think I would.
Anna783426 · 03/02/2023 19:55

I was in a similar situation a few years ago and was advised to declare tenants in common due to the uneven input, which was probably about 75/25 to me. I wish I had, but went with joint tenants in the end. We're still happily married but it does upset me that he didn't fully understand why I wanted to protect that inheritance, and that I wasn't convicted enough to actually protect it.

Completely understand why you'd want it separated slightly, it's an inheritance for you, not an ex-husband, however much you hope your marriage will continue to be a happy one.

Bunnycat101 · 03/02/2023 20:00

One of the things you might need to consider is time. At the moment things probably feel quite raw. Don’t feel rushed into a purchase or deciding how to split ownership. You might feel quite different about the money now versus 10 years time should you split.

Are your earnings broadly similar or does one of you earn more?, were you financially supported during mat leave? would you pay a higher charge of any mortgage going forwards if you had a higher share of the house, what about pension provision? All things to try and think about as once you go down a ‘this is mine v yours’ for the house there are plenty of other areas of life where that could get messy.

chipsandpeas · 03/02/2023 20:05

you would speak to a lawyer when you are sorting out the purchase, but obv speak to your husband about it first

bellsbuss · 03/02/2023 20:09

I would be devastated if my husband says he wanted to do this.l

Original poster
mama2girls0 · 03/02/2023 20:29

Thanks so much all. You've been really helpful. @bellsbuss I would never want to hurt my husband so take that on board, although I was going to phrase it to him that if we don't split up then it will never be an issue anyway and what's mine is his whilst we are married. I think if it were the other way round I would be ok with it when put like that. And I wouldn't really feel like I deserved to take such a large amount of money that wasn't gifted directly to me when I wasn't with the person it was gifted to.
@Anna783426 thanks so much, it's really good to hear that from someone who was in a similar position as I feel like a bit of a b**ch even thinking it but I am just trying to be sensible and cautious whilst also being a good wife and would just hate to regret anything down the line or feel like I let my beloved family member down not being responsible with the money. Anyway I will give it more thought and perhaps gently speak to my husband and gauge his thoughts. But it is useful to know we could own different shares, although I'm not sure how legally binding it would be should we split.
@Bunnycat101 he currently owns roughly double what I do, although he contributes a bit more towards the mortgage. No he hasn't financially contributed towards my maternity leave (I saved in advance both times). I'm not sure if I would pay more towards the mortgage if I owned more, that would need to be discussed I guess although I'm not sure I could afford to. All food for the thought.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 03/02/2023 20:38

Why is inheritance any different to money earned? You're married, it goes in the pot surely? Presumably whoever left it you in their will knew you were married?

Crumpledstilstkin · 03/02/2023 20:45

So the preferment had been set for money not being just one pot by you paying for mat leave. It's it enough to do a family blood trust?

Crumpledstilstkin · 03/02/2023 20:46

precedent is
Typing whilst feeding baby 🙄

Babyroobs · 03/02/2023 20:46

bellsbuss · 03/02/2023 20:09

I would be devastated if my husband says he wanted to do this.l

Yes me too ! My dh inherited quite a lump sum which was used to benefit our whole family - paying off our small remaining mortgage and extending the house to make a bigger family home. He would never have dreamed of trying to set anything up to say he owned more of the house because of this. My in laws who left him the money loved us both and would have wanted us both to benefit. What he does have left he does keep in his own account but if it needed to be used for the good of the family for example helping the kids through Uni no way would he pay his half from his inheritance and make me stump up my half. We are married and are a partnership !

Princessglittery · 03/02/2023 20:49

@mama2girls0 Some good advice from pp.

Make sure you have a will, Tenants in common means you can leave your % to your children and give DH a life interest in the property. Very important as many widows/widowers remarry and then leave the house to their new partner and the children get £0. There are tax implications so get legal/financial advice.

Pension - do you have a good pension provision? There maybe some tax benefits of putting some money into your pension but again on divorce DH maybe able to claim a %. Again get legal/financial advice.

Bunnycat101 · 03/02/2023 20:52

Crumpledstilstkin · 03/02/2023 20:45

So the preferment had been set for money not being just one pot by you paying for mat leave. It's it enough to do a family blood trust?

Yes I think this is relevant if you already have separate finances to a degree and already own different shares in the house (was my reading of what the OP said).

Soontobe60 · 03/02/2023 20:56

bellsbuss · 03/02/2023 20:09

I would be devastated if my husband says he wanted to do this.l

My DM owned her house completely as when she married her DH at the age of 50, he moved into her house having left his wife and 3 kids with their house. So he brought nothing into the marriage financially.
3 years ago, she decided to change the ownership of her house to TIC, giving him 20%. He’s never really worked so she supported them both. Why should he inherit her house that my DF helped her to buy?

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