Advice re inheritance/purchasing

[mama2girls0]

Hi there, I have recently discovered I am going to inherit a large sum of money. I am in a pretty happy marriage and we plan to use the money to buy a much needed bigger family home as we have outgrown our family one. However despite our marriage being happy, I wondered if I should be somehow safeguarding the money that I will be investing in any way in the event that we split up or is this perhaps not even possible once married? Could I make sure it goes to the children at the least in the event that we split or anything? Or should I see if I can own a larger percentage of the property? Many thanks

Twenty years ago we were able to buy a flat due to an inheritance on my side, which was in my name. Ten years later we moved to a house, by then we were married with one child, now we have two. The house has always been in both of our names. Regardless of what happens with us in the future, I know my husband will always have our children's interests at heart, and as far as I'm concerned it's our (and their) investment now, even if our marriage was to fail.

Yes we have our own separate finances and each contribute a certain amount. He has always been very clear that is how he would prefer it.

Just read your update - it's a bit crap that he didn't help out during your mat leave. We have separate finances to a certain extent, not joint accounts, but we pay in a similar amount to joint expenses like bills, food etc except when the situation changes - I supported him through uni as a mature student, he supported me through both maternity leaves. I guess it comes down to being a partnership, and making it even and fair on both sides.

I’ve been in this situation. I think you might have difficult conversations ahead. I’d advise only that you emphasise to your DH that your ultimate aim is to only ever benefit your dc - NOT to do him out of anything. They’re different things. Keep your children the focus of all conversations. Neither of you know what the future holds. If you die, he might remarry (perhaps with your blessing given in advance), a woman with children of her own or with whom he goes on to have more children. You might be all for this and happy with it, it could be what’s best for your children. But YOUR children shouldn’t see their inheritance dwindle as a consequence, and presumably your deceased family member wouldn’t have wanted to benefit unknown children to the loss of your children.

Sorry for your loss.

Thanks @BigBadBoom. Yes I have thought similar and that perhaps even if we did split his money would eventually go to our children anyway (provided he didn't leave it to a new partner or anything).
Also, he is pretty good and pays about a third more of our mortgage since he earns double what I do. And I had luckily already saved before both maternity leaves so thankfully didn't really need him to help me financially during maternity leave.

I think if he's been clear he wants separate finances and you're happy with that he should be able to recognise he would similarly protect an inheritance that came to him.

Maternity leave benefits both of you - presumably if you hadn't been on maternity leave you would have both contributed to childcare costs? I'm not sure why he didn't support you financially?

If you are contributing significantly more to a mortgage via the inheritance I'd make sure your financial contributions are less going forward.

@mama2girls0 talk to your solicitor when buying about a 'deed of trust'. This can protect your increased deposit. Also ensure any life insurance you have is placed in trust and you have a will in place.

A man does not “support” his wife through maternity leave. He pays for his child. Any man who doesn’t contribute to the cost of a woman being on maternity leave is an absolute twat. So OP you should 100% protect your inheritance on that basis.

As a previous poster has said, this can be done through a deed of trust if what you want to do is protect £x as opposed to take a higher % of the property. That’s probably an easier conversation to have - ie your family member left you £x and therefore the first £x on sale of the property will go to you, and then the rest split 50/50 (subject to the terms of the divorce). A solicitor can draft this for you.

I can’t believe there are really men who don’t contribute to the cost of maternity leave.

Thanks all. Some mixed feelings on this but it sounds like I should to talk to my hubby and suggest a Deed of Trust. That way it's about the amount added to the pot and not a percentage of the property which I would prefer. I know lots of people disagree but I think this all seems pretty fair as if we stay happily married then the money will always be 'ours' and it would go to him if I pass away. And in the event that we split up then I can just take the money back and then anything else is split. Particularly as he has always subsidised our mortgage/food bills but also very much wanted to keep our money separate. Thanks all for your thoughts on my maternity leave. He continued to pay for our older child to go to childcare whilst I used my savings for my share of the mortgage/food etc and that worked for us so I don't feel hard done by (particularly as I say as he has always paid a little more into our mortgage).