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Original poster

What do you honestly think about this financial situation?

120 replies

somewhereinthemid · 05/12/2022 19:20

My husband (full time) earns £55k, I (part time) earn £14k. We own our own home and have an outstanding mortgage of around £175k (but we do have help to buy loan of 20% to factor in in 3 years). We have a 3 year old who has just started receiving funded hours but have a newborn too. Our house is big enough to last us so we don’t need to worry about moving. We have a nice car but it is on PCP. We did have a good pot of savings which got absorbed between buying our house and our wedding and we now have only £3200 in savings and at the moment we aren’t putting anything into savings a month. We live comfortably in the sense that we don’t go without anything, our house/car are nice, warm enough, enough food, little luxuries etc but we don’t live lavishly. At the moment we can afford everything but we are living relatively pay check to pay check in the sense that we don’t really have much left over at the end of the month and aren’t paying into savings.

My husband keeps saying that he can’t believe we are back living pay check to pay check, he earns the best he ever has and feels like he has less money than ever before. I feel like he could look at it a bit more positively, we’ve been able to afford to buy a lovely house in a nice area, have a lovely wedding/honeymoon, have two kids, me go part time, keep luxuries such as nice car, sky, Netflix and afford to keep ourselves warm, clothed and fed. Yes we are looking at another 3 years before we can start rebuilding savings but at that point I can go back full time, or atleast an extra day or two and my salary that has been eaten up on nursery/maternity leave etc will be available, even with my PT hours that would be an extra £1200 a month we currently don’t factor in and even more if I go full time.

This isn’t a stealth boast before someone says I just get so anxious when he makes it sound like we are practically skint and living right to the wire and o don’t know whether he’s right and it’s a shit situation or whether I’m right and we are doing quite well considering it’s only short term?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 05/12/2022 19:23

You are doing well if you own a house that is big enough for your needs, have no debt and can afford what you need. There will be opportunities to increase savings when your kids are a bit older. We lived just as you do when our kids were little and had no savings.

flowerycurtain · 05/12/2022 19:24

Honestly,
I wouldn't have sky and no savings. How secure are your jobs? I'd be looking to get 3-6 months salary in an emergency fund.

Do you budget every month? Have any debt?

nancydroo · 05/12/2022 19:27

Lots of positives there. I wouldn't worry. You can't take it with you

RandomPerson42 · 05/12/2022 19:29

You are combined bringing home about £4,500 a month net after tax (excluding student loans and pensions).

You are rolling in it so must be throwing it away. Get a grip.

NoelNoNoel · 05/12/2022 19:30

You are doing well, your DH needs to look
at the bigger picture.

Mushroomlady · 05/12/2022 19:31

Typical lifestyle inflation. If you actually want to save then you need to put some savings aside at the start of each month and then use a budget to cut back on luxuries. There might be a few little things you can cut (subscriptions, takeaways etc) that you wouldn't miss too much and that could allow you to save a few hundred a month.

Original poster
somewhereinthemid · 05/12/2022 19:32

Jobs as secure as can be, and long term and both paying into pensions. Less than £5k debt between us and £4k of it is on a 0% credit card, the rest is a couple of items on finance.

Good point about things like Sky, we definitely could cancel some things to free up some money for savings. Because we can just afford everything it's not go to the point we have had to cancel things but it probably is the right thing to do. Will look when contract is up.

We don't budget no, but we do start to run out by payday every month so think we spend roughly the same each month in general apart from this time of year, but he gets a £1.5k bonus each December which pays for Christmas and a weekend away.

OP posts:
Original poster
somewhereinthemid · 05/12/2022 19:33

Don't think it's necessary to tell me to get a grip just for asking opinions!

OP posts:
MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 05/12/2022 19:34

RandomPerson42 · 05/12/2022 19:29

You are combined bringing home about £4,500 a month net after tax (excluding student loans and pensions).

You are rolling in it so must be throwing it away. Get a grip.

No need to be rude!

OP, it's so easy to live to our means and money gets eaten up quickly. We have a similar monthly income to you and by the time the mortgage, bills and food are paid we dont have money to "throw around" but also recognise we have a beautiful house which has a big mortgage payment and we are very lucky in that respect.

By all means, look where you can save money. For example, NowTv is sky TV but way cheaper. I pay less than £5 a month for the entertainment pass.

FrownedUpon · 05/12/2022 19:38

I would want more savings than that, because the amount you’ve got could easily get used up if you need a new boiler/roof etc.

caringcarer · 05/12/2022 19:40

You are doing well OP. Don't let your DH get you anxious. You have a little bit in savings. Maybe you could put £50 a month into your savings. It would soon mount up. Just cut back a little to save up to £5k in savings.

MillyMollyManky · 05/12/2022 19:40

Was your husband expecting his disposable income to go up in a straight line? IME it's up and down- not much when you start out, then you earn a bit more so it goes up, then you have children so it goes down, then they start school so it's up again, then down again when they become expensive teens etc etc.

user1471554720 · 05/12/2022 19:40

Maybe you can't really afford to go part time if you have little savings. You could work evenings or weekends if you are worried about savings.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 05/12/2022 19:42

It sounds like your husband isn’t happy to shoulder almost the full financial burden and I can understand that, especially when there’s not much left over to save for emergencies and your credit card debt outstrips your savings! I think you probably need to look at increasing your hours or going back full time.

Original poster
somewhereinthemid · 05/12/2022 19:43

With a newborn I don't really think I can go full time but yes it is the plan to up my hours in a couple of years. We have looked at nursery costs and financially we wouldn't be better off enough for it to be worth it to put him in full time.

OP posts:
Precipice · 05/12/2022 19:44

It sounds like you bought the house fairly recently and got married fairly recently (even assuming a year or so before the birth of your eldest child, so about 4 years ago), so it makes sense that most of your savings went on that.

Not sure what the help to buy arrangements are and how that's going to affect it. Do you mean your payments will be increasing substantially in three years?
Is the amount of your salary basically just on the childcare, with everything else out of his? (Not in the direct sense, but in relation to the sums).

I wouldn't feel comfortable long-term with only about 3.5k in savings. Consider that urgent/necessary repairs might eat all that up or sometimes even more.

I think you should definitely try to save some to increase that in the coming year. I think you should be able to live comfortably and still do that. The most obvious thing coming to me is that you pay for Sky and Netflix - how much are you really watching from these? Couldn't you cut those or at least one? You can find a lot of things to watch for free or for a one-off payment. But generally to look at your less necessary outgoings and see where they can be trimmed.

2ManyPjs · 05/12/2022 19:47

RandomPerson42 · 05/12/2022 19:29

You are combined bringing home about £4,500 a month net after tax (excluding student loans and pensions).

You are rolling in it so must be throwing it away. Get a grip.

She's acknowledged they have a good level of comfort, but they are clearly not "rolling in it" otherwise she'd be able to save each month. Currently they're living pay check to pay check and unable to save due to their own living costs, so telling her to get a grip is just unhelpful and shitty. Yes her husband is a high earner, but it's all relative to what their personal cost of living is.

OP, if you write down your full expenditure and go through it with a tooth-comb you'll probably be able to find areas where you can trim back a bit, food shopping, days out, presents, for instance. Each small cutback adds up monthly, and those can go into savings for a decent emergency fund.

Original poster
somewhereinthemid · 05/12/2022 19:49

Yes in the last 3 years we've gotten married, bought a house and had two kids. He talks longingly about the savings we once had but we have done basically all the most expensive things you can do in rapid succession!

OP posts:
QuiltedHippo · 05/12/2022 20:02

How are you planning on paying back your help to buy loan?
You have more debt than savings, and are borrowing for cars too. Two children are expensive and it wouldn't take much to find yourselves in trouble. I can see why your DH has some worries.

However you are also at peak expensive time of life, and it sounds like you have a plan and your situation is quite stable so it's not all doom and gloom. I assume your mat pay is less than your normal salary would be too?

I think be sensitive to your DHs worries though, he probably imagined as a higher rate tax payer he wouldn't need to worry about this type of thing. All the cost of living crisis stuff won't be helping. Not long ago an above average earning could have a few kids and wife at home without a second though and it can be hard to shake that mindset.

Original poster
somewhereinthemid · 05/12/2022 20:05

We don't have a hope of saving up enough to pay off help to buy, long term we will remortgage to include it but until mortgage rates stabilise we will just pay the interest. We have 3.5 years until that happens.

OP posts:
Oblomov22 · 05/12/2022 20:11

Sounds great. I don't understand his negative view. His negativity would hack me off.

Nyedilemma · 05/12/2022 20:17

I'd be very worried, pretty much solely reliant on one job, 2 young children commitments (house and car) and no savings

Obviously lots of people do live like that, but I wouldn't be comfortable having "little luxuries" in that situation. In DH's position I'd be feeling very stressed.

Workawayxx · 05/12/2022 20:19

I think it's just totally normal (actually better than most!) situation to be in especially when you have 2 very little pre school kids. I expect to be able to save when my youngest hits school age, before then it's just all spare funds going to childcare basically. Did your DH think you could buy a house and have 2 kid with no hit to savings/finances?!

Bobbybobbins · 05/12/2022 20:24

I think you are in the most expensive couple of years. Our toughest months were having both in nursery 3 days a week before funding kicked in. Once they both start at school things should get a bit easier.

Miajk · 05/12/2022 20:29

To be honest I think it's not very responsible.

Based on your incomes you could definitely afford to save if you budgeted carefully. What if something happens to one of you? What if something happens to the house, or a million other very common situations that require money to fix?

Swap sky for Netflix.
Budget and shop at Aldi.
Etc. Until you free up some money to at least save 50-100/a month.

I would feel very financially insecure if I wasn't saving any money, unless I had rich parents to fall back on (but I don't).