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Original poster

Rent for child

79 replies

HannaBannana · 30/11/2022 17:55

My daughter is planning on moving back home to save money for her own place - she moved out to rent a place with her then partner at 18 and has since broken up with him. The plan to move home is to help her save money for her own place now at 21 and I was aiming to charge her £100 a week. She is not happy with this as she pays just slightly more than this where she is now so she won't be putting much more in savings away and is a 3rd year university student. I have taken into account then when she gets her first job her take home pay will be about 1500 pcm from August. The £100 a week would include the room and bills but not food or chores and I would also expect her to look after her younger sister when I am at work. Is this amount of rent an unreasonable amount? She has her own car and phone that she pays for as well.

OP posts:
MadameMackenzie · 30/11/2022 21:48

Your profiting from your own child?????? Hmm Wow

SpottyPyjamas123 · 30/11/2022 21:54

£100 a week.. no food.. childminding and chores? This has to be a joke right?

Riverlee · 30/11/2022 22:01

Far too much.

My son was paying that in a flat share when he was working full time. He had to pay his food, but wasn’t wasn’t expecting to look after a sibling.

The usual amount I see on mn is £200 per month, but that includes food, and that’s usually is for a dc who is working full time. Students are usually considered to be in education and aren’t usually charged. In fact, parents usually help fund their children during university, not the other way around!

Also, I don’t understand about her future earnings. £1500 is actually not a huge amount for a full time job, and she may not get a job straight away. What has that got to do with her situation now?

At £400 a month plus food plus free babysitting, she’ll be better off getting a flat share.

excelledyourself · 30/11/2022 22:01

Who looks after the younger child just now? Is that going to save you money on childcare too?

I do think £100 a week is an awful lot, especially when it doesn't even include food.

healthadvice123 · 30/11/2022 22:23

I think with expecting her to buy food , and look after sister its a bit much but if you need it then you need it.
What could she get a room in your area for ?

Luckydip1 · 01/12/2022 07:35

I would charge her the rent but actually put the rent into a savings account for her, towards her first place.

superdupernova · 01/12/2022 20:45

I think you'll find that's called an au pair and they tend to get paid for the childcare part.

NellesVilla · 01/12/2022 20:55

You can’t charge her that much plus childcare provision! You need to pay her for the childcare or reduce the rent to half.

sheepdogdelight · 01/12/2022 21:19

I think it's unrealistic for a university student to attempt to save tbh.
Their only sources of income are (presumably) maintenance grant, any money you give her plus any from a part time job.

I wouldn't be charging her, but would reduce the money I was giving her (if I was). If you're not giving her any money and can't afford to do this, I'd just charge her enough to cover food/increase in bills.

If you want childcare, you should pay her for it.

I'd reassess when she starts her job in August. £400 per month sounds a bit more reasonable then (but still no unpaid childcare).

NightfeedsandNetflix · 01/12/2022 21:36

Erm comes across as you are seeing pound signs for yourself? Irrespective of what she could be earning the plan is to help her save? I would charge a bit to cover the extra in bills. I would also include her in the main meals I cooked, any extras she could buy herself.

IsItaCowIsItaPlane · 01/12/2022 21:48

I charge my son £250 a month including food and he earns £1700 a month. I put £50 a month into savings for him.

When he was in education I paid for everything...as a parent should

qpmz · 01/12/2022 22:10

Whatever you charge should be inclusive of food! Sounds a bit sad if you plan to have your own milk and butter in the fridge and cook separate meals.

Cuddlywuddlies · 01/12/2022 22:13

You sound lovely @HannaBannana good luck with having a good relationship with your dd…

mitsy5 · 01/12/2022 22:18

If I was your daughter I would be reconsidering moving back home. And as for expecting her to provide childcare - no way. Your other child is NOT her responsibility.

YourWinter · 01/12/2022 22:21

Mine paid £200 a month. They were truly awful about housework other than their own rooms and laundry. They cranked the heating up when they got home 2-3 hours earlier than I did, left all the lights and tv on, left the kitchen in a state after cooking. They bought and cooked their own main meal ingredients but expected all the staples to just be there: milk and juice, butter and cheeses, bread and biscuits, sauces and condiments, loo rolls and laundry products…

Now independent with homes and families of their own, they are still unable to accept that I wasn’t robbing them unfairly.

It wasn’t a great time.

ForgetBarbie · 01/12/2022 22:23

You sound exactly like my mum, money grabbing and downright unsupportive. I was 18 and my mum was charging me £500 a month just because she could. Do you genuinely need all of that money? If so, why will you not include food and still expect her to do chores and look after a sibling? She may as well rent a room elsewhere. I don’t know why parents want to rob their own kids. I certainly won’t be making that mistake with my two

DrMadelineMaxwell · 01/12/2022 22:27

In uni - I'd not be charging anything.
When working the rule of thumb DH's parents used (mine charged me nothing but I got married in the middle of uni and moved in with DH and then started a pt job alongside my studies) was one week's pay per month for keep. It's not really rent here. It's an acknowledgement that they are helping pay their way and that them being here raises our outgoings.

VanCleefArpels · 01/12/2022 22:28

What are your actual increased costs when she comes home?

Do you want her to be able to move out again as quickly as possible?

Wouldn’t it be better for her to save as much as possible (up to 50% of take home pay) in order to facilitate her being able to move out?

Yes some chores (own laundry, room and bathroom clean at a minimum ) and some cooking but what you propose will either mean she doesn’t come home at all or that she will never be able to leave. Neither scenario will do your relationship any good

notdaddycool · 01/12/2022 22:31

If you need to move in with her in old age I hope she charges thousands.

MissConductUS · 01/12/2022 22:32

I hope you don't get a visit from the ghost of Christmas future.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 01/12/2022 22:33

My parents never charged me for living at home, and they struggled financially their whole working life. I don't intend to charge my kids when they get older either, this is their home and it always will be

Closuretime · 01/12/2022 22:38

Do you actually want your DD to move back home? Or do you just want to save on childcare?

You have a chuffing cheek OP.

Closuretime · 01/12/2022 22:41

ForgetBarbie · 01/12/2022 22:23

You sound exactly like my mum, money grabbing and downright unsupportive. I was 18 and my mum was charging me £500 a month just because she could. Do you genuinely need all of that money? If so, why will you not include food and still expect her to do chores and look after a sibling? She may as well rent a room elsewhere. I don’t know why parents want to rob their own kids. I certainly won’t be making that mistake with my two

It's telling that her own daughter left in the first place!

FlamingJingleBells · 01/12/2022 22:43

I wouldn't charge my child but neither did my parents charge me either. I paid my mum housekeeping money but she never asked for it. She actually saved it for me in a separate account and returned it when I moved out. There's no way she'll move out if she's paying £400 a month rent to you. You're scamming your own child, shame on you.

PeekAtYou · 01/12/2022 22:45

If she's babysitting 40 hours a week (or more including your commute) then she can't work and earn money.