I can’t get husband to see it not fair or am I wrong ?

[Vbi]

My husband and I constantly disagree about how much he pays towards the household bills

we are both in a second marriage
we live in my house , and he has kept his original home which is empty, not rented
my 16 year old son lives with us and I have another at uni , who comes home in term times
i am employed with a good job and he owns his own company which is doing very well - we probably earn about the same

our household bills , mortgage , utilities and food come to about £2500 but that’s increasing monthly like everyone’s
I never ask him to pay for the childrens expenses or mine
since he moved in he has paid £600 a month and pays if we go out which is 1-2 times a week but nowhere fancy
I have asked him to increase his contribution but he refuses

He says I am being unreasonable , I’m sure I’m not but wanted your opinions

Why isn't his house rented out?

A third of the expenses is c£800 how much more are you asking him to pay?

Yes he is why is he only paying a quarter!

He’s unreasonable and on the cocklodger road. £600 a month isn’t much these days. It some cities that gets you a room in a house share. No food or bills

It = in

Well presumably you don’t want him paying your mortgage, so take that out of the equation and what are the monthly bills? Then divide that in a proportionate way – I’d say he should pay maybe a third, given you have two children that you’re not asking him to support.

Does he pay a mortgage on his place? And why isn't it rented?

Shared bills should be council tax, gas, electricity, landline, TV licence, water, sky and broadband. Food.

If all this comes to more than £1200, then yes, he should contribute more. If not, then no.

Your council tax will have gone up since he moved in (assuming you've told the LA) as you no longer qualify for single adult discount (uni student DC is exempt).

Tell him you can't and don't want to subsidise him, so maybe you should just live in separate houses. The dream ruddy marriage that imo.

Are the children his? If they are, he's being unreasonable, if they're yours then he shouldn't have to pay for them.

I think you should take the mortgage out of it and split the bills or you could charge him a rent plus one third of bills. I don't think it should be 50/50 but he isn't paying his share.

I hope you're not expecting him to pay towards the mortgage (you mentioned mortgage in your list of bills and expenses).

How on earth can you say that from the information supplied by the op?

Ah, just seen that you are married. There will be expenses on his empty house. Will you be contributing to that?

Off he pops to his own house then.

Nice and simple.

He has it cushty. And he knows it.

Why on earth have you married someone without having finances all worked out? Or even married someone that doesn't want to pay his way?

You're married. He should be paying half, unless he has a mortgage and bills on his house? Why isn't it rented out?

No way. He can't live at yours and pay you £600 for everything, leaving you to pay three times as much. Off he goes home.

What a strange situation to have got yourself into. Why didn't you discuss this all before?

What are the costs for his house? Has he kids?

Do you get CM?

What other costs are there? TBH going out once or twice a week could mean £30 or could easily be £200?

Send him home if he won't pay his way. Solves any arguments. If he comes for meals he pays for his share of the ingredients or you take turns in each others houses.

Out of curiosity, does he help with maintenance costs at all? Does he do any cleaning etc?

You’re married? And you are earning about the same?
he needs to go half. And he needs to start renting his ‘own’ house too.

The starting point should be everyone has the same amount if money spare for themselves. And then everyone can put about the same amount of money in savings

This is very perplexing. Did you not talk about finances at all before you got married?

What was the point of getting married if you still see yourselves as separate households?

I always get confused at the idea he shouldn’t pay board. If a grown child were working and earning I would expect them to pay board so don’t see why he shouldn’t. Bills should be split and he should contribute to the roof over his head. If he was unable then that may be different but he can. Also if you are married then you are legally financially linked so it should be an equal split based on earnings (excluding childrens expenses). He seems a bit tight fisted.

Why should he pay half? Presumably he doesn't have his own children come to stay so if he pays half of household bills he is effectively subsiding the housing of your children. But I'd have discussed and agreed this before marriage and moving in TBH

Completely depends how much your mortgage is what is he doing with his house ? Just leaving it standing there ?