I just really need some advice about my debts/life

[Cupofteaonesugar]

I am a single mum to two and I currently live at my parents.
I have no savings and debts of around £15000 (I feel sick writing that).
I work part time, I have a UC top up. I cannot work any more hours then I do.
I have been on the waiting list for social housing for years and I've finally been offered somewhere. We are really struggling for space and independence at my parents. Despite loving them dearly I need my own place.
I went onto a debt management plan when I was 20. I paid it off on full and carried on with my life. I got married and had children and had some debts but everything was in control. My ex left me during pregnancy and that's when things went wrong. I spent money as a way of coping but he also left me with nothing and I had all of my baby bits etc to buy. Things just went down hill.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to turn down this opportunity of social housing but I have no idea how I will pay it and flat bills with my debts. I am worried about another debt management plan as o know it will destroy my credit rating for potentially 6 years as it did in the past. Whilst I don't want credit I know that credit rating is important and phone network and broadband companies do credit checks.
I just don't know what to do or turn.
I am planning on contacting step change but I am just wondering if anyone has any experience or advice?

Please don't come for me. It's a big step me acknowledging this and asking for help.

Dont really have any words of wisdom but wanted to say that your doing the right thing by contacting step change.

If you get a control of your debts ( via step change) and take the flat would you then be able to work to a budget, wouldnt you be entitled to some help for your rent?

It does sound like you need to have your own space if you an make it work.

I think you need to get into your new home and then take stock. make an appointment at the CAB and take along all of your debts and income and outgoings and they will help you

Thank you! I would qualify for help with rent but in claiming that via UC I would have a reduction on my UC entitlement.
I just want to be stable and my life move forward but I constantly am struggling to keep my head above the water.
I feel like I have no life. I can never afford to do anything for myself. The none mum part of me is just existing :(

When you say take stock what do you mean by that? Sorry if that is a ridiculous question!

I know this is easier said than done and am honestly not trying to have a go at you but I think earning more is your ultimate solution out of this. Would your parents help you with childcare to allow you to work full time? Or with childcare to allow you to study or retrain for better paid work? Or can you pick up extra work of a different type?

Apologies if you're disabled and unable to do any of this.

Why do you think your UC would go down?

I don't have the childcare to work anymore. To earn more money I would have to work a considerable amount of hours to outweigh the loss of UC and I just cannot do this.

It would go down because the housing element reduces the amount of UC which isn't reduced with your wages! Or soemthing along those lines. I was told by a few on another thread it would go down by about £130

Speak to Stepchange (or use their online debt advice tool now) and ask them about a debt relief order.

Have you looked at what childcare costs universal credit would cover?

Or work that would allow you to have your kids in tow or around? Thing like proof reading or audio transcription which you can do at any time

Or working at your kids school - the lady who manages after school club at my son's school has her child there (I assume for free or a much reduced rate)

I think you need to try and make the social housing work if at all possible. It sounds like that is the best option you're ever going to get - if you're worrying about being able to afford that and have a bad credit rating private renting is not going to be an option for a long while so it's either that or staying at your parents forever.

Would they be able to give you any help if you move out? Obviously they can't give you money because you should declare it for your UC but could they pay for shopping or something? Maybe discuss it with them - you living there is probably costing them via higher energy bills, food etc so they might be happy to give you the extra in exchange for your/their independence?

Do you get any maintenence for the kids off their dad?

I don't want to sound harsh but you got yourself out of debt once so you can do it again. Ultimately the only way out of debt is to work more hours. How old are your DC? Could your Mum collect from school or nursery? Could you use a childminder to collect? Would staying with your Mum until you paid down the debt be open to you? How do you think you can pay rent, all bills and run a home of your own if you don't have enough money?

I said in my OP that I cannot work any more hours. It finically doesn't benifit me in the slightest so if that's the only I put that you can give them please just save the effort in typing.
My mum is 65 and isn't able to help any more then she already does.
I have nobody who can help me financially.

Realistically - working part time, living on benefits, two kids, trying to pay off a 15k debt, it's not going to be a great life or allow you to afford to spend money on yourself. Earning more or staying with your parents to lower your costs are the only ways out of it that I can see ...

Hi OP. Have a look at the Debt Camel website. A debt relief order might be the easiest option for you, but it will affect your credit rating. If you’re worried about utilities like ‘phone and broadband maybe get them set up before you move or just before taking out a DRO (if you go down that route).

Money Saving Expert also has lots of info on the debt forums.

You can get this sorted, but you may have to bite the bullet and accept that your credit rating will be shot for a few years, but then it wouldn’t be a good idea to get further credit anyway.

good luck and I hope you find peace and happiness in your new home.

I agree this is probably the most appropriate solution for you OP. As well as Stepchange,you can find more about DROs on Moneysavingexpert

Have a look at:

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/categories/iva-dro

Why are you not receiving contributions from the kids' father? Surely that would make a massive difference.

If you're on UC you're eligible for the social tariff broadband, and seeing as it's aimed at people on low incomes, you'd hope that credit problems aren't a barrier to signing up.

Most social housing organisations would like to see you at least addressing your debts rather than ignoring them. They are only interested in getting your rent (from whatever source of income it is paid from).
If you're slready in debt and getting demands etc then your credit score is already fucked. So have a look at insolvency options. Always go to sn agency that gives advice for free and doesn't charge admin fees.
In the short term you need a three pronged attack. Reduce outgoings, increase income and check your welfare entitlements.

I have similar debts to you but earn enough to service them. It's not unusual. Are they credit cards or loans? Step change is a good port of call.

As this is the second time you're facing some kind of debt management plan maybe you need therapy to address the reasons?
Is being with your parents facilitating the debt (because you don't have to contribute to their loving costs?) or helping keep you afloat? Depending on the answer moving out is either supportive as you'll have to learn to budget or it's going to be a disaster where you can't manage fuel etc.
I know you don't want to work more as it won't be financially better off - surely that's short term? Won't more hours lead to more opportunities to progress in a career?

This is an opportunity to start a new chapter in your life.

Speaking with Stepchange is a really good idea, and I'd suggest you do whatever they recommend. Even if it creates 6 years of struggle, you'd be struggling anyway and the debt would be growing so best to bite the bullet now.

Also speak with CAB to get professional advice on how the rent support you might access will affect your UC. They will help you through the maze.

I think that the new home could be the light at the end of your tunnel.

Thank you!
This is how I feel. I am SO ready for a new start. My ex husband left me in front of a tidal wave of emotional and finical abuse. I was so vulnerable and struggled so much. I just want a fresh start but I can't get my head above water at the minute. I just want a fresh start with my children.
I've never had a housing opportunity before now.

I understand how this can happen, without living an extravagant lifestyle, just going day to day muddling through, so absolutely no judgement from me.
I would make sure I focussed on the priorities - a roof over your heads, food on the table, utilities and council tax paid. Basically the essentials.
If there is any surplus, make offers to the non priority debts.
Yes, your credit rating will take a bashing, but there will be many others over the coming months who will default on regular payments.
You will come out the other end eventually- if nothing else when you can work more when the children are older.
Enjoy the simple stuff in life. Things are only things at the end of the day.
Good luck!