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Original poster

Would you give your 21 year old €5K?

41 replies

ZekeZeke · 10/09/2022 01:36

So not exactly gift.

I have 2 DS's, almost 21 and 19.
Years ago when I got a pay rise I started a savings account for each DS-an online savings account, each in their own names.

I save €50pm, and now they have over €5k each. My plan was to use the money for the first years college fees but DH pays those as part of general expenses.

DS1 is 21 soon. He is aware of the account but I'm not sure if he actually realises that it's his money ie he could withdraw this anytime he wants. He works part time, attends collage, gets really good grades and has his own car.

Would you suggest he withdraws it as his 21st present from me and DH? Or just continue saving and say nothing.

PS he saves in a Separate account himself, contributes to the household financially and is a good lad.

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 10/09/2022 01:37

Nope. Keep it for when they’re looking at buying a house and can use it toward a deposit.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 10/09/2022 01:38

I might save it for when he moves out (e.g., help with a deposit on a house, or help with renting a nicer place than he could otherwise afford for a couple of years). But based on your description of him, I don’t think you’d be crazy to give it to him now either.

Original poster
ZekeZeke · 10/09/2022 01:39

HerRoyalNotness · 10/09/2022 01:37

Nope. Keep it for when they’re looking at buying a house and can use it toward a deposit.

That's what DH is saying

OP posts:
Weenurse · 10/09/2022 01:41

Mine have similar and know about it.
DC 1 used hers at 25 to add to her flat deposit. DC 2 wants to save hers for wedding.
Both of mine are good savers and workers.
I also told them I would have been happy if they used it for a car, to travel or for further education.

Monty27 · 10/09/2022 01:45

Look at investments and keep it going for him until he's ready to buy or has a business model. Good for you OP

wwyd2021medicine · 10/09/2022 01:45

I would
But my DC have had significantly more than this from an early age in various form of accounts in their own names and never touched it as they know it's for stuff like houses not nonsense

Pixiedust1234 · 10/09/2022 01:49

No, keep it for something specific such as a house deposit/fees or towards a decent car. No matter how good they are it usually gets "dipped" into for rent deposits or a last minute holiday, etc. Put it towards something that lasts a few years imo.

Boreded · 10/09/2022 01:58

Wow…at 21 I was married, a homeowner, and a mother…there is no way I could fail to be aware of a significant amount of money like that which was mine. It’s odd that you don’t just let them know that it’s their money, there adults, both of them…

HeddaGarbled · 10/09/2022 01:59

£5000 towards a house deposit is pissing in the wind really, isn’t it?

I’d have given it to mine at that age if I’d had it, but they were both really sensible and wouldn’t have frittered it away.

TamSamLam · 10/09/2022 02:05

You can't give him his money for his birthday, it's already his.
But he's 21, you should let him know about it and give him control of it, because it's his.
Whether you continue putting money in its up to you.

PinkOwlReading · 10/09/2022 02:07

If they might want to buy a house one day, give it to them to put into a LISA 25% bonus from the Government. No investment will beat that

ohdearymeagain · 10/09/2022 02:13

wwyd2021medicine · 10/09/2022 01:45

I would
But my DC have had significantly more than this from an early age in various form of accounts in their own names and never touched it as they know it's for stuff like houses not nonsense

Woop de doo you.

ohdearymeagain · 10/09/2022 02:17

Congrats saving on their behalf! He’s doing well, keep saving. He doesnt know what he is missing. Big contribution to deposit one day

HerRoyalNotness · 10/09/2022 02:49

HeddaGarbled · 10/09/2022 01:59

£5000 towards a house deposit is pissing in the wind really, isn’t it?

I’d have given it to mine at that age if I’d had it, but they were both really sensible and wouldn’t have frittered it away.

Yes but when the son is say 30 and has saved up 30k himself the 5k+ would be handy to add to that for fees or top up deposit etc.

BarbaraofSeville · 10/09/2022 04:31

HeddaGarbled · 10/09/2022 01:59

£5000 towards a house deposit is pissing in the wind really, isn’t it?

I’d have given it to mine at that age if I’d had it, but they were both really sensible and wouldn’t have frittered it away.

Not really. It could pay for fees, furniture etc, or top up a deposit to get into a better LTV bracket or meet income multiple requirements.

Plus it could well be significant for a FTB. In many places a small to medium sized house or flat costs £100-200k so £5000 would be a significant portion of a £10-40k deposit.

avamiah · 10/09/2022 04:34

Just give it or you will end up regretting it .

whiteroseredrose · 10/09/2022 04:44

Yes. But mine are both very sensible non spenders.

They have money from their grandparents that they have been managing for a few years.

FiddlefigOnTheRoof · 10/09/2022 06:07

I’d give it for property: house deposit, or furniture etc.

MistyRock · 10/09/2022 06:09

TamSamLam · 10/09/2022 02:05

You can't give him his money for his birthday, it's already his.
But he's 21, you should let him know about it and give him control of it, because it's his.
Whether you continue putting money in its up to you.

I agree. If its already his, now, then it's a bit of a shit present really.

Mindymomo · 10/09/2022 06:11

I had savings accounts for my 2 sons and paid in £50 per month. By the time they were 16 they had around £8,000 they both knew they had this money. One son continually pestered me for the money and I took some out to pay for a gaming laptop, the other son wasn’t bothered. We bought their first (cheap) cars, then they had the money to buy a better, dearer car. I would tell him about the account, he needs to know as it’s in his name.

MintJulia · 10/09/2022 06:26

HerRoyalNotness · 10/09/2022 01:37

Nope. Keep it for when they’re looking at buying a house and can use it toward a deposit.

this

MintJulia · 10/09/2022 06:30

HeddaGarbled · 10/09/2022 01:59

£5000 towards a house deposit is pissing in the wind really, isn’t it?

I’d have given it to mine at that age if I’d had it, but they were both really sensible and wouldn’t have frittered it away.

£5000 is half of a 5% deposit on a two bed flat near us. Definitely not pissing in the wind.

Oblomov22 · 10/09/2022 06:43

We gave ds1 his savings account and also his CTF @ 18. Made it clear it was to be kept, not squandered, to use it after Uni for something big eg towards house deposit.

Startuplife · 10/09/2022 06:48

When we were FTB we had saved £60k of our own money. I’d have been thrilled with an extra £5k to buy furniture or do up the house a bit quicker than we were able to ourselves.

Frenchfancy · 10/09/2022 06:50

Is the account in his name? If yes then it is his money and you cannot legally withhold it.

We had a savings plan for ours from birth. They knew about from aged 18. Dd2s has just matured at 21. It will be automatically transferred into her bank account.