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Original poster

Would you give your 21 year old €5K?

41 replies

ZekeZeke · 10/09/2022 01:36

So not exactly gift.

I have 2 DS's, almost 21 and 19.
Years ago when I got a pay rise I started a savings account for each DS-an online savings account, each in their own names.

I save €50pm, and now they have over €5k each. My plan was to use the money for the first years college fees but DH pays those as part of general expenses.

DS1 is 21 soon. He is aware of the account but I'm not sure if he actually realises that it's his money ie he could withdraw this anytime he wants. He works part time, attends collage, gets really good grades and has his own car.

Would you suggest he withdraws it as his 21st present from me and DH? Or just continue saving and say nothing.

PS he saves in a Separate account himself, contributes to the household financially and is a good lad.

OP posts:
bruffin · 10/09/2022 06:52

Depends on child
Both dc inherited 5k the 11k
Dd managed to spend her 5k on nothing really so we didnt give her access to rest. Still fritters money away
Ds had a couple of treats and saved and invested , now has 60k deposit for a flat.
Dd knows about other money but its better if she cant get at it

Stag82 · 10/09/2022 07:08

ive saved money for mine (they are currently 10 and 8) and will hand it over when they are 21. As they get older we’ll talk about what our hopes are for the money, but ultimately it is down to them what they spend it on as it is there’s. The savings are a mixture of birthday / Xmas money from early years, inheritance and a monthly dd saving.

autienotnaughty · 10/09/2022 07:09

I'd give it towards a house or wedding otherwise there's a risk it will get frittered away.

Original poster
ZekeZeke · 10/09/2022 07:34

Thank you all for your responses.
I would like him to be sensible and use the money wisely but understand a gift can't be given with conditions.
I might keep saving for another few years.

For posters who think it's a shit gift I disagree 😉

OP posts:
shivawn · 10/09/2022 07:53

He knows the money is there for him but it hasn't really been given to him yet and she's still actively adding money to it, so no it's not a shit gift at all. I would love a gift like that.

I agree that it might be best to hold off for a few years if he doesn't need it for anything right now. You sound like a great mum OP!

wwyd2021medicine · 10/09/2022 09:11

wwyd2021medicine · 10/09/2022 01:45

I would
But my DC have had significantly more than this from an early age in various form of accounts in their own names and never touched it as they know it's for stuff like houses not nonsense

Hahaha
Re reading this I should have given a context!
Questions about DC access to money saved for them by parents generally seem to get answers such as keep the money in your name, not the child's and don't let them know about it because they'll spend it on drugs/partying, citing examples of this.
My prim answer was to counter these as it has not been my own experience.

megletthesecond · 10/09/2022 09:13

No. Keep it aside until he needs a car / house.

Awakened22 · 10/09/2022 09:27

Talk to him about it - if you’re in the UK there’s much better accounts to transfer it into if he potentially wants to use it as a future house deposit. As a PP said, the help to buy isa is a great idea as the government top it up by 25%.

stopitleaveitgetdown · 10/09/2022 09:35

Not mine. He'd spend it all on weed and vapes 🙄
But if your son is responsible then I don't see why not

ChocolateHelps · 10/09/2022 09:39

Surely, legally, this account is in his name...he is an adult...it is his money. Aren't the bank sending him letters direct? Are you with holding those letters?

You can advise and research investments and accounts but it's no longer yours to control.

Educating children about money is rubbish in this county. In my opinion children need to have regular practice at managing money, both saving and spending, in an age appropriate way, long before they are 18.

Original poster
ZekeZeke · 10/09/2022 09:51

ChocolateHelps · 10/09/2022 09:39

Surely, legally, this account is in his name...he is an adult...it is his money. Aren't the bank sending him letters direct? Are you with holding those letters?

You can advise and research investments and accounts but it's no longer yours to control.

Educating children about money is rubbish in this county. In my opinion children need to have regular practice at managing money, both saving and spending, in an age appropriate way, long before they are 18.

He receives a statement every 6 months, in his name. He is aware of the savings but is under the impression its for back up college fees.

I explained how €50 a month doesn't be long adding up.

I started the savings accounts for the first year college fees but luckily DH & I can manage the fees as part of our overall bills.

He works part time and attends college and owns his own car.
When he started working he set up a DD into his own savings account (credit union in Ireland) so he is quite responsible.

He hasn't asked about the account as he assumes its for college.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 10/09/2022 11:46

My in laws started accounts for our four kids and they each got £5k at aged 18 because the money had to transfer to them at that point. Eldest ds spent his in the first term at Uni - fancy weekends with his gf, gambling and god knows what else. He is terrible with money. Ds2 has not spent a penny of his and is diligently saving for a house deposit and sensibly adding to it despite being on an apprentice wage. DS3 has spent about half and has about half left, dd is yet to get hers. We were not really happy about them getting this money at 18 but the accounts (2 were child ISA's and 2 child trust funds) had to transfer to them.

RedHelenB · 10/09/2022 13:42

It's in their name, it's theirs. Give it to him .

Floralnomad · 10/09/2022 13:49

I’d have already given it to mine to add to their own savings , but neither of mine would be likely to fritter it away .

MistyRock · 10/09/2022 17:32

ZekeZeke · 10/09/2022 07:34

Thank you all for your responses.
I would like him to be sensible and use the money wisely but understand a gift can't be given with conditions.
I might keep saving for another few years.

For posters who think it's a shit gift I disagree 😉

Well it is a bit shit giving it as a birthday present when they already know about it being theirs.

Holidaydreamingagain · 10/09/2022 17:35

MistyRock · 10/09/2022 06:09

I agree. If its already his, now, then it's a bit of a shit present really.

Show quote history

Only if ifs in their name. If it’s in your name but earmarked for them you can do whatever you like.

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