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Sister won't agree to rent increase

57 replies

thewinterqueen · 26/08/2022 20:42

Hey lovelies.

I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. My half sister got kicked out of her father's home 5 years ago, and moved in with me. She has a big room in my house, with free rein over the house, and pays me £350 a month excluding bills. She is terrible with money, and I've been a bit foolish in letting her live here so cheaply.

About 2 years ago, I asked her to contribute towards council tax. She kicked off, said she would deny living here, and ended up getting me in a bit of trouble over it. I had debt collectors at the door. She eventually agreed to pay 50% but it was a nightmare. Whenever I asked her to contribute to things, she says talking about it sets off her depression, so I end up feeling guilty.

She recently took three weeks off work, claiming she was depressed some days, and other times saying she couldn't be bothered. I warned her that the rent needed paying, whether she was depressed or not. I suffer from a chronic pain condition and work despite having days where I'm in agony. Well, the rising cost of living has meant that I've needed more help. I have asked for her to pay me an extra £75 a month, to which she initially agreed to, but now she is saying she wants proof of rising cost of living or she's not paying. I recently found out that she'd added things to my TV and Internet without asking too, so I've been getting charged £20 a month for that without realising for 3 years. When confronted, she pled ignorance and said she would pay it, bur now she's saying it's too much.

I an really upset and hurt by it all. She paid normal rent today but refused the increase, so that's put me behind again. She also refused to pay the £20 extra for the TV stuff. She claimed that she could get another room somewhere else for the same money, so I told her to go for it. At this stage, I'm fed up with being treated like a mug, and was wondering if anyone had any advice. Everything I try and talk about it, she used the depression amd ergh, it drives me mad. I also have depression but I hsve to work. She has a decent job and her only other outgoing is her phone bill. It got to the point where I cried about it earlier. Not sure I can take much more.

OP posts:
Winterfellismyhome · 26/08/2022 20:43

Tell her to move out. She's disrespectful

chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 20:44

Give her her notice

WeIoveyouMissHannigan · 26/08/2022 20:44

kick her out

I had to do similar but my sis and I are over it now, it doesn’t need to lead ti a lifelong rift if you’re both fundamentally reasonable people

GoneWithTheWine1 · 26/08/2022 20:44

Tell her either to pay up or she moves out and you'll get a lodger who will pay.

HipsterCoffeeShop · 26/08/2022 20:45

Get rid of her and get a lodger in

icelollycraving · 26/08/2022 20:47

Get rid. She’d be on a hiding to nothing to get a room that cheaply. She wants proof of rising cost of living? She’s about to find out!

SeasonFinale · 26/08/2022 20:50

Give her notice and get a lodger in where it is a proper business type arrangement because they won't take the piss.

She thinks she can get cheaper elsewhere then off she goes.

ItsJustASimpleLine · 26/08/2022 20:54

Give her notice and cancel the TV stuff.

FourChimneys · 26/08/2022 20:56

Give her written notice, not just verbal. Keep to the deadline, don't extend it if she doesn't sort herself out with a new place.

Don't discuss, argue or back down.

Don't feel guilty.

GlueyMooey · 26/08/2022 21:01

She is counting on you caving in like you have done so many times already. You can't sort this out without taking a tough line and that might have to include very uncomfortable interactions. Just keep reminding yourself that she has put you in this situation.

Hotandbothereds · 26/08/2022 21:27

Take her up on her offer to move out and try and find somewhere cheaper, she’s in for a massive shock.

She’s taking the piss, she needs to leave, you can find a new lodger who pays their way.

GreenClock · 26/08/2022 21:36

She is taking you for a fool. Give her until the end of September to find somewhere else. Cancel the extras she’s purchased. Keep it civil but don’t acquiesce.

girlmom21 · 26/08/2022 21:39

It's time for her to leave

ilovesooty · 26/08/2022 21:40

Give her notice in writing. You shouldn't have to put up with that.

Lucyintheskywithrubies · 26/08/2022 22:18

She’s a CF OP. Get her out.

Out of interest can you afford for her to move out and what is the going rate for a room in your area? Can you show her other ads? Where I live a room in a bit of a shit house is going for £500/600 in a not great area

thewinterqueen · 27/08/2022 07:35

Going rate is £550 and she'd have to pay bills ontop of that... x

OP posts:
thewinterqueen · 27/08/2022 07:36

And yes, I could afford to do it on my own. I'd probably be better off too because she uses so much electric, etc.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 27/08/2022 07:38

Get her out shes taking the piss and the arrangement doesn't suit you anymore

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 27/08/2022 07:41

Kick her out!!!

AnotherEmma · 27/08/2022 07:42

Don't give her to the end of September, that's way too long. 2 weeks notice max. That's reasonable in the circumstances. Send her an email or text message so you have evidence.

If you get a lodger make sure you have a written agreement.

Catapultaway · 27/08/2022 07:48

Kick her out. Simple.

Confused how she got you into trouble over council tax though. Did you continue claiming the single person discount even though she was living there? That's on you, not her.

Thinkingblonde · 27/08/2022 08:00

Tell her to leave, two weeks notice and in the meantime cancel the extras on the t.v.
Now you know why her dad kicked her out.

GoneWithTheWine1 · 27/08/2022 08:03

thewinterqueen · 27/08/2022 07:36

And yes, I could afford to do it on my own. I'd probably be better off too because she uses so much electric, etc.

If that's the case, tell her she's got two weeks to leave you want your home back.

I'd also change the WiFi password etc so she can't order anymore extras!

SolasAnla · 27/08/2022 08:06

It got to the point where I cried about it earlier. Not sure I can take much more.

She stole from you by putting extras on a bill and not paying the CT.
She lies to you by denying what she did.
She expects you to work and pay for her living expenses.

Her behaviours make you cry.

You deserve better and she needs to move out.

TooHotToTangoToo · 27/08/2022 08:08

SolasAnla · 27/08/2022 08:06

It got to the point where I cried about it earlier. Not sure I can take much more.

She stole from you by putting extras on a bill and not paying the CT.
She lies to you by denying what she did.
She expects you to work and pay for her living expenses.

Her behaviours make you cry.

You deserve better and she needs to move out.

This with bells on!