Sister won't agree to rent increase

[thewinterqueen]

Hey lovelies.

I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. My half sister got kicked out of her father's home 5 years ago, and moved in with me. She has a big room in my house, with free rein over the house, and pays me £350 a month excluding bills. She is terrible with money, and I've been a bit foolish in letting her live here so cheaply.

About 2 years ago, I asked her to contribute towards council tax. She kicked off, said she would deny living here, and ended up getting me in a bit of trouble over it. I had debt collectors at the door. She eventually agreed to pay 50% but it was a nightmare. Whenever I asked her to contribute to things, she says talking about it sets off her depression, so I end up feeling guilty.

She recently took three weeks off work, claiming she was depressed some days, and other times saying she couldn't be bothered. I warned her that the rent needed paying, whether she was depressed or not. I suffer from a chronic pain condition and work despite having days where I'm in agony. Well, the rising cost of living has meant that I've needed more help. I have asked for her to pay me an extra £75 a month, to which she initially agreed to, but now she is saying she wants proof of rising cost of living or she's not paying. I recently found out that she'd added things to my TV and Internet without asking too, so I've been getting charged £20 a month for that without realising for 3 years. When confronted, she pled ignorance and said she would pay it, bur now she's saying it's too much.

I an really upset and hurt by it all. She paid normal rent today but refused the increase, so that's put me behind again. She also refused to pay the £20 extra for the TV stuff. She claimed that she could get another room somewhere else for the same money, so I told her to go for it. At this stage, I'm fed up with being treated like a mug, and was wondering if anyone had any advice. Everything I try and talk about it, she used the depression amd ergh, it drives me mad. I also have depression but I hsve to work. She has a decent job and her only other outgoing is her phone bill. It got to the point where I cried about it earlier. Not sure I can take much more.

Ultimatum time. She pays up or goes. And preferably she goes because she's an entitled madame and you will never change how reluctant she is to respect you and your home.

The brass neck of her. Wants proof or she's not paying!!

My own son pays me more than that without question.

Stop allowing her to take you for a mug and get rid of her.

I don't know where you live but 350 pm for the last four years no increase until very recently, she's been lucky.
Tell her it's time for her to move out.

I wouldn't bother with an ultimatum. She doesn't respect you (secretly charging extra on your internet etc without telling you or offering to pay) and arguing with you telling you to justify /prove entitlement to the new rent level. The endless arguments will just continue if she stays.

It's your house. Your rules. You don't need to justify anything. If you wanted to set the rent at £5k a month that would be your right. In the same way that she could refuse and move out.

Get her to move out.

Ick her out. In the meantime cancel all the extras she has out on your accounts and change the passwords to everything.

You can see why her dad kicked her out. She’s a user. Kick her out. She’s completely abused your good will and you’ve been enabling her. Where she goes isn’t your problem but you can’t afford to keep and subsidise her any longer.

Cancel the extras today. And change all relevant passwords at the same time. She has stolen from you. Who knows whether she is taking the mickey or genuinely incapable of seeing things from any perspective but her own? It doesn’t matter.

Her idea that you are required to show her proof of cost of living rises is beyond absurd. Is she truly unaware of our 40 yr record inflation and the current energy price crisis? That might argue in favour of a MH problem but she is behaving so badly that it’s going to be her or you. MumsNet chooses you.

PS. I meant to add that of course you need to raise her rent to something approximating local norms, or evict her.

She sounds like a nightmare.

Doesn’t she pay some of the bills? You said she pays £350 excluding bills.

You took her in which is commendable but it's no longer working. I'd give her 2 months notice, she's royally taking the piss.

Agree she needs to go!

proof of the rising cost of living? Does she have eyes?

Also you get your 25% single person discount on CT once she’s gone I believe.

Get rid. She is totally taking advantage of you

Kick the cheeky fucker out

I'm assuming you have no contract with her.

I would give her notice in writing, it looks as if the usual practice is for the notice period to be one rental period, so in this case one month. After this point it would seem you can change the locks, although you would need to return your sister's possessions to her.

Getting in a proper lodger would take a bit of financial pressure off you, and you might be lucky enough to find someone who only needs the room during the week.

As she's likely to kick off severely about being evicted, I would ask your dad to help her look for a room elsewhere.

Bye bye sis.

Tell her it's time to leave

Oh come on op, this is an easy one and you know it. Give her notice and get her to leave your property. Don’t feel guilty for goodness sake, she has taken the piss long enough!

Don't feel bad. She's a pisstaker. My brother rents from me for significantly under market rates but it's a mutually beneficial arrangement - he gets a cheap home for him and his family and in return he looks after the place, decorates, does routine maintenance, pays his bills and I dont have to worry about the stresses of being a landlord. Your arrangement is so one sided - you have all the negatives of being a landlord and none of the positives. You don't need to put up with that just because she's family.

Wow I wouldn't be looking for an increase, I'd ask her to leave. She clearly doesn't respect you or the fact it is your home. I bet if she did eventually agree to paying it she would make damn sure she is using extra! What a nob wanting proof. How can you not know the CofL has rapidly become very unaffordable to alot of people. Good luck to her finding somewhere else on such a good deal. She will soon reget it

Ask her to leave op she clearly has no respect

She doesn't pay any of the bills x

So have you told her to go now? I hope you can see that she's using you and you have a choice to stop this.

I'd move her out before the new gas & electricity prices come in, because I think you'll find she'll put your heating on as much as she wants, use electricity as if it's free etc... & you'll find you have massive bills because of it.

She doesn't care about you or she'd treat you with more respect when you are actually doing her a favour.

She's acting like a spoilt child in their parents home - which may be why she got kicked out of her fathers in the first place.

Jesus. When you said the rent didn't include bills I assumed that she was paying her share of them, even though this would seem entirely out of character given the fuss over Council Tax.

You're making your personal cost of living crisis worse by having her freeloading. She needs to go.

Have you spoken to her again OP?

She’s massively taking the piss here, no wonder she got asked to leave her dad’s house.