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Original poster

Do you get a 'household allowance' from your husband/partner?

36 replies

JoshandJamie · 21/01/2008 10:19

For those mums who don't work and have no money of their own coming in, how do the finances in your house work? Are you given a weekly or monthy household allowance from your husband/partner for groceries etc? And if you are, is that money put into an account of your own?

Or do you just use a joint credit card/bank account?

Or something else?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
DaisyMoo · 21/01/2008 10:21

We have a joint account. I wouldn't even consider doing it any other way. I would be hugely insulted if my dh wanted to give me an allowance - I am his wife, not one of his children.

purplemonkeydishwasher · 21/01/2008 10:23

we have a joint account.

JingleyJen · 21/01/2008 10:25

we have a personal account each
a joint household account

I get the family allowance and tax credit paid into my personal account

Dh has his wages paid into his account and he makes sure that the household account doesn't go into the red. we have all household bills on standing order out of the household account.

Personal funds for me - the family allowance and tax credits is my day to day "me" money.

HtH

Cappuccino · 21/01/2008 10:26

I work p/t but earn loads less than dh; but our income is always fully shared. We work out how much we need for bills/groceries/savings/children/car/holidays, and then we have a weekly allowance each, a bit of money going into an account each so we can buy presents etc, and the rest we spend jointly ie we both decide

a household allowance is insulting imo - if you are a family unit and you have childcare responsibilities, all income should be shared equally as you are both equally responsible for your way of life

mankymanger · 21/01/2008 10:28

My husband pays all the bills, he gives me money for myself as we don't have a personal account. I then pay for all my own things and some groceries as we go along. He's generous and we worked out the amount between us. Don't have to worry about taking too much money out of a joint account and bills not being paid so suits me.

appledumpling · 21/01/2008 10:33

We have a joint account. All the bills are paid from there plus my (small!) outgoings. If it looks like it's getting low towards the end of the month then DH will top it up. If there needs to be a large or out of the ordinary purchase I just make sure it won't cause a problem before I spend anything extra. Works for us.

Original poster
JoshandJamie · 21/01/2008 10:34

Thanks for the feedback so far. Mankymanger, a question for you - when your husband gives you money, do you carry it around as cash or do you put it into some kind of account? Apologies for cryptic questions - just doing a bit of research.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 21/01/2008 10:38

I work Pt but my wage is a much smaller percentage of DH's wage, We have a joint account; always have done. We only have one credit card also, which we both have a card for. We pay for everything out of that account. I don't have a budget to spend each week/month, but if needing to buy something larger I will check with DH if it is okay first - simply as he pays attention to what is in the account and what is going in/coming out, and I don't!

sweetkitty · 21/01/2008 10:42

Tax credit and Child Benefit gets paid into my account, DP gives me an amount to pay my bills and spends for the month when we gets paid. He does a direct bank to bank transfer. We sit down every month when he gets paid and go through all the upcoming expenses like car tax/birthdays etc.

At no time do I ever think that it's his money or I get an allowance of any sort. It always been "family" money. If I did work most of my wages would go on childcare anyway so in effect I don't outsource the childcare so we don't have to pay for any.

flameboy · 21/01/2008 10:46

My dh pays all bills and I buy most groceries. He puts cash in my purse and money in my account every week. I have a credit card which I have never used. I am not insulted by having an 'allowance'. I am his wife, not his mistress.

mankymanger · 21/01/2008 10:50

I have monthly standing order so its not really an issue - I would feel bad if he was putting cash in my purse like pocket money. I also have child benefit but thisis my general pot (I do buy most of ds's clothes). DH also pays for holidays and other big expenditures. It is never been the case where he has said 'I'm paying so will have more of a say.'

LadyMuck · 21/01/2008 10:52

Most of our accounts are joint. Dh has an annual allowance for his hobby, and I spend the rest. I don't have a running away account as such, but the only single name accounts are in my name.

wheelybug · 21/01/2008 10:55

Joint account and credit card here. Always have done even when I worked. I deal with the finances as well. It wouldn't work for me having an allowance.

OriginalFlame · 21/01/2008 10:57

All of our money just goes into one account.

Then I have full power!

Buda · 21/01/2008 10:59

Joint accout - he gets his salary paid in and I take it out!

belcantavinissima · 21/01/2008 11:02

hi

i dont 'work' and my husband pays £600 into my aaccount every month to cover food shopping (which is about £500 per month ) plus any extra things such as the odd bit of clothes or pressies, dd's ballet. we dont have a joint account.

hth

FrannyandZooey · 21/01/2008 11:05

I get a set amount of money each week to buy my own stuff, as does dp

we also have a joint account with which to buy householfd things, groceries etc

I also work p/t and we negotiate what that money is for as it comes up - we usually each get some for personal things (I get more we worked out I needed more as I am at home all day, with more expenses, and things like toiletries and hair cuts etc - dp is a good sort), and then use the rest for something like a holiday or household item we need.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/01/2008 11:05

OP can I ask what kind of 'research' you are doing please ?

Thank you

magnolia74 · 21/01/2008 11:07

All the money goes in one account, I have the debit card and sort the bills ect...

Money in there is ours whether it's dh's wages or tax credits. It has been this way since we got together 17 years ago. The minute we moved in together we have had our money and thats it.

muppetgirl · 21/01/2008 11:09

We have a joint account where dhs' wages get put into and we both dip into it for things we need. We have savings account where we both have to sign to get money out. We talk about any purchase over £100 and discuss together.

When I go back to work I will have my wages put into our joint account.

We get paid weekly and this makes things SO MUCH easier.

mustrunmore · 21/01/2008 11:10

We dont have a joint account because Abbey wouldnt add my name to dh's account, and wouldnt automatically transfer the direct debits if we set up a new account, so we'd have had to contact all our utilitites etc individually At the time, we were about to have ds1 and couldnt be bothered with all the hassle. So I get an 'allowance' for the boys stuff, I do a chitty for groceries that dh gives me back after payday each month, and I have nothing for me because I dont work.

onesock · 21/01/2008 11:16

Joint account. DH's salary goes in and we take it out as and when necessary.

I would be totally mortified at the suggestion of an allowance. I would feellike a child being given pocket money. Becoming a SAHM can seriously affect the dynamics of your marriage if you're not careful and being handed a set amount of money each month or having to ask for money just increases that likelihood.

DH always says he wouldn't be able to work the hours he does and therefore earn what he does if I wasn't a SAHM. He is fully aware that I've put my career on hold to do this and would never dream of making me feel submissive in this way.

magnolia74 · 21/01/2008 11:20

"and I have nothing for me because I dont work."

I would say looking after your boys is work!!!

I don't 'work' but have 5 kids at home so that counts as work in my house

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/01/2008 11:22

To the OP

I have done a search on your name.

Are you using this as research for another article?

If so then perhaps you should run past MN HQ first ?

If I have the wrong idea then apologies

Twiggypiggy · 21/01/2008 11:23

I have my account (which my part-time wages are paid into) to spend as I wish, DH does not have access to this. I did pay for two holidays last year and a long weekend away out of this though which was entirely my decision.

We then have a joint account which DH's salary is paid into which covers mortgage, bills, birthday pressies, haircuts - just about everything really. We also have some money out of this that goes into a savings account.

If I need money, I just take it out of the joint account.

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