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Original poster

Handhold please.

49 replies

IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 11:16

Hi, I'm sorry I don't know who to turn to. I don't live in the UK anymore and have no friends where I live. My family and I are healthy, I'm very grateful for this but we are in dire straits. The costs of living have been rocketing, we've always been careful with our spending but our wages aren't sufficient anymore. We can't pay our bills, my husband and skip lunch. Diner is made of food purchased via "the Good to go"app. Another reminder just came through the letter box. DH and I try to keep appearances so not to worry the kids but it's hard. Apparently we earn "too much" to get help!.. Sleepless nights, anxiety... I don't know, can you please send my family some "positive vibes"? Any prayers? I've tried to do online surveys and have applied to do copywriting, proofreadings,etc...but no luck so far. I'm lost. Are things ever going to get better? I'm not suicidal but I can't see the end of this nightmare.

OP posts:
DoughNutBabe · 06/07/2022 11:22

If you have debt stop paying it. If the bills Direct Debits are too high, cancel them.
Breathe!
Head to MSE DebtFreeWannabe where a whole bunch of clever folk will explain how to get back in the black x
For now, breathe x

NeedAJobChange · 06/07/2022 11:32

Do you have a list of all your outgoings? Maybe we can see where you could save some money.

Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 12:13

DoughNutBabe · 06/07/2022 11:22

If you have debt stop paying it. If the bills Direct Debits are too high, cancel them.
Breathe!
Head to MSE DebtFreeWannabe where a whole bunch of clever folk will explain how to get back in the black x
For now, breathe x

Thank you for your reply and advice. I cancelled all Direct debits but they added fines for late payment. For instance, the letter I received today was from the town council who immediately demanded the payment of the whole yearly amount! Just because we cancelled one monthly instalment in 28 years! DH just wrote to them and ask for payments in instalments again. That's one bill we will not pay in one go, whatever they say.
For the rest, we can't postpone any longer but you gave me a good idea; is to get in touch with all these debitors and ask them for help. I am not expecting much but it's worth a try and at least; this will give my DH and me a well-deserved break while waiting for the answers. Some of them are bound to help, hopefully...
I've just checked the website you recommended, it's brilliant and full of tips, thank you so much!

OP posts:
Doorsdoyle · 06/07/2022 12:30

Don't know where you are, but if you're in Ireland, mabs is the organisation to go to.

Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 12:53

NeedAJobChange · 06/07/2022 11:32

Do you have a list of all your outgoings? Maybe we can see where you could save some money.

Thank you for your reply and your kind offer to help! The total amount of income (2xincomes) €2300.
Outgoings:
Mortgage: €1000
Electricity, gas: €170 (literally doubled since January this year!)
Fuel for the car: €150 (2 cars both needed for commuting)
Mobile phones: €160 (in total for 4 people, can't downgrade during the duration of the contract, unfortunately)
Food: €350
Water: €130
Car insurance: €110
Council tax:€80
Health insurance: €375 (all privatised a few years ago...)
TV: €35
Internet: €50
Road tax: €75
Home insurance:€400 (yearly)
"Other"county tax: €300 (yearly)
On top of all this, DC sometimes need clothes and shoes, and there's always the "unexpected"expense or a need to repair or replace something...
Total amount of current debts: €3000

So provided I did not make any mistake or forget anything, there's definitely more going out than coming in... Stupid of me but I've not realised what the total of expenses actually is!
The costs of living have been rocketing, especially water, gas, fuel, electricity...
but The Netherlands are definitely become too expensive! Wish we could emigrate but we need a job and this is easier said than done..

Any piece of advice is welcome, I will also check Debt Free Wannabe site as previously recommended by pp. Thank you for your support.

OP posts:
DoughNutBabe · 06/07/2022 13:04

Can one of car-share for work / bus or walk couple of times a week?
Can one of you pick up evening/night time/weekend work? Couple of hours of babysitting even.
Is TV a tax or subscription?

Actually if only one of you work then the second car surely can go, you can make it to school and shop somehow.

Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 13:21

DoughNutBabe · 06/07/2022 13:04

Can one of car-share for work / bus or walk couple of times a week?
Can one of you pick up evening/night time/weekend work? Couple of hours of babysitting even.
Is TV a tax or subscription?

Actually if only one of you work then the second car surely can go, you can make it to school and shop somehow.

Commuting by public transport would take much longer and is also very expensive, but you gave me a good idea with car-sharing, we both have colleagues living not far from us, that would be great for all us.
Good idea to apply for extra work during evenings/weekends.
TV is a subscription, streaming only.
DC both cycle to school.
Thank you for the tips!

OP posts:
PeppaPigIsBacon · 06/07/2022 13:28

Your total income looks low for two people working full time (assuming average salaries in The Netherlands are similar to here). If one or both of you isn’t working full time, could you pick up more hours at all?

Main issue to me looks to be that your mortgage is extremely high compared to your income. Any way of reducing that? Extending the term, switching to a better rate etc?

AdoraBell · 06/07/2022 13:33

Is the TV subscription necessary?

Magstermay · 06/07/2022 14:21

My understanding with council tax in the Uk at least is that any arrears are taken very seriously so I would continue to pay that one but try to reduce the others down.

fudfootedfannybangle · 06/07/2022 14:33

I found NL prohibitively expensive and when I was offered VR I grabbed it with both hands and scarpered back to the uk. I too very much remember the bills upon bills and sent to debt collectors with zero breathing space.

only thing I can recommend is dropping a level on your health insurance - ie if you’re not planning a pregnancy any time soon, you could drop a tier.

tbh I’d consider getting back to the UK - I had a better quality of life on benefits here than I did working in NL in high tech.

Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 14:42

Doorsdoyle · 06/07/2022 12:30

Don't know where you are, but if you're in Ireland, mabs is the organisation to go to.

I live in Holland, but I have not found any organisation that could provide help and advice yet.

OP posts:
Yodaisawally · 06/07/2022 14:49

You don't earn enough to sustain the situation. Are you Dutch or from the uk? Your salaries are low, can you move back?

Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 14:50

PeppaPigIsBacon · 06/07/2022 13:28

Your total income looks low for two people working full time (assuming average salaries in The Netherlands are similar to here). If one or both of you isn’t working full time, could you pick up more hours at all?

Main issue to me looks to be that your mortgage is extremely high compared to your income. Any way of reducing that? Extending the term, switching to a better rate etc?

Wages are in general low in Holland, it used to be bearable but with the rising costs, everything has become a luxury.
The mortgage is indeed too high and we are shooting ourselves in the foot with it, and you are right; we should speak to the bank and see if we can negotiate a more affordable deal. Thank you for your great tips!

OP posts:
Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 14:51

AdoraBell · 06/07/2022 13:33

Is the TV subscription necessary?

I'm afraid it is, the kids love watching TV and they would go crazy without it...

OP posts:
fudfootedfannybangle · 06/07/2022 14:52

Silly question - but are you claiming back the tax on the mortgage from the belastingdienst?

DuarPorte · 06/07/2022 14:52

Your situation is unsustainable.

Your mortgage is close to 50% of your income.

It’s not a case of what pennies can be pinched here or there in your case. Something radical is needed, where mortgage isn’t 50% of income.

Which is - either income changes, or mortgage changes. Both are radical but the situation demands radical action.

Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 14:55

Magstermay · 06/07/2022 14:21

My understanding with council tax in the Uk at least is that any arrears are taken very seriously so I would continue to pay that one but try to reduce the others down.

Thank you, same here about the arrears, for the rest; DH and I will have a closer look at what we could reduce down and negotiate the mortgage.

OP posts:
Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 15:02

fudfootedfannybangle · 06/07/2022 14:33

I found NL prohibitively expensive and when I was offered VR I grabbed it with both hands and scarpered back to the uk. I too very much remember the bills upon bills and sent to debt collectors with zero breathing space.

only thing I can recommend is dropping a level on your health insurance - ie if you’re not planning a pregnancy any time soon, you could drop a tier.

tbh I’d consider getting back to the UK - I had a better quality of life on benefits here than I did working in NL in high tech.

Things have gone worse over the last 6 months, it's crazy! You did the smart thing and I wish I could go back to the UK. I am not British (although my heart is), and I wish I'd stay there (I used to live in the UK). Unfortunately, it looks like it's too late to move back with the new immigration requirements since Brexit. But you and other PP have given me "food for thought"and it might be time to move to another part of Holland or emigrate somewhere else....

OP posts:
Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 15:05

fudfootedfannybangle · 06/07/2022 14:52

Silly question - but are you claiming back the tax on the mortgage from the belastingdienst?

Not a silly question at all! We claim tax every year but the "wonderful" (sarcasm) government we have, has decided to stop this scheme next year... Heavens help us...
Sorry, I forgot to reply your question about the insurance in your PP: we are currently stuck with this tier as one of our DS2 needs the orthodontist...

OP posts:
Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 15:10

DuarPorte · 06/07/2022 14:52

Your situation is unsustainable.

Your mortgage is close to 50% of your income.

It’s not a case of what pennies can be pinched here or there in your case. Something radical is needed, where mortgage isn’t 50% of income.

Which is - either income changes, or mortgage changes. Both are radical but the situation demands radical action.

Thank you for your reply, this is absolutely right, the mortgage is far too high and things need to urgently and radically change. For now we can only improve on things like finding a second job and car-share but we can't cut down on anything else anymore... Silly from me but I've just realised that the mortgage has remained the same over the years where as DH lost his job a couple of years ago and his wage is now lower than the one he had with his previous employer.

OP posts:
Original poster
IndigoKat · 06/07/2022 15:17

Yodaisawally · 06/07/2022 14:49

You don't earn enough to sustain the situation. Are you Dutch or from the uk? Your salaries are low, can you move back?

Thank you for your reply. I'm Dutch/French but used to live in the UK. I wish we could move back (still feeling "homesick" as I miss the UK very much), but the new immigration requirements have become a considerable obstacle...

OP posts:
YesNoMaybeNot · 06/07/2022 15:21

OP you really need to know what the laws are in Holland.

People could advice things that would not be right for where you are.

Is there a money saving expert equivalent in Holland?

fudfootedfannybangle · 06/07/2022 15:26

What about Belgium? Ridiculous taxes, ridiculous government but company cars, food vouchers (as part of salary) and much cheaper housing.

trilingual in Wallonia would still pay a pittance but much cheaper cost of living.

Anonymousoctopus · 06/07/2022 15:29

Are you in Amsterdam, op? If so, you could try contacting the Buurtteam at www.buurtteamamsterdam.nl. They provide free advice. Not sure if similar exists in other cities but they might be able to point you in the right direction.