How much should we all pay?

[moneymelon]

Husband and I, two adult children all working earning similar amounts.

Husband and I have separate bank accounts and I pay my half of household running costs to his account monthly. He then pays all food and household bills.

The children pay their rent to my husbands account directly. It's a quarter of what I pay each because they are saving.

My question is should I be paying half given that he also receives money from the other adults in the house? Shouldn't we be subtracting the money from the other adults contribution from the household running costs total then he and i paying half each of what's left?

I'm trying to be fair to him and also myself.

Yes of course, you should pay half after what he receives from the DC is deducted!

So he's living for free?

You pay half and they pay a quarter each?

It doesn't sound fair to me.

Do you rent or are you buying? Whose name is the mortgage in?

Should you all pay a ¼ if you are all earning similar amounts?

Yes you should all pay 1/4. Reduce your contribution and tell him you're saving.

He should be offering and the fact he hasn't tells you what he thinks of you.

What's he paying?

This he is absolutely living for free cheeky bastard

Yes indeed you should be paying less - get it sorted!

🤣

What a chancer.

I think it's turn their is a joint household account that him and the DC pay into and all bills come out of.

Once you've had the free x months he's had you start paying in too.

Is this the tip of the iceberg in terms of unfairness from him towards you?

Is all housework and mental load shared?

You need to halve what you transfer to him.

You need a separate bills account that you all pay into. I think its fair to give kids a chance to save by taking less off them but your dh is literally laughing all the way to the bank.

You do realise as others have saud that if you pay 1/2 and together your children pay 1/2

he is paying nothing!

He has been robbing you for awhile - I would sit down with him point this out and say that whatever he has saved 1/2 is yours

But I suspect that you are married to an unpleasant man

OP said her children pay "a quarter of what she pays, each".

• OP : pays half


• Children: pay a quarter of the total (half of what she pays)

So your husband only pays a quarter. This definitely needs to be sorted, since it's unfair to you.

Surely this depends at least a bit on what you all earn?
If you all earn the same and the DC want to save then maybe you and DH paying a third and the DC paying a sixth each would be fair.

If you earn very different amounts, I'd expect some consideration to be made to this.

I'll never understand a marriage with a 'mine and theirs' attitude to money. You are married, not housemates. Get a joint account and all pay into it proportionately like adults.

On that basis, surely the split should be 1/3 for you and DH, and 1/6 for each of the kids?

Oh,no. Ignore me.
The kids currently pay 1/8 each.
So 3/8 ths be paid each by you and DH

I feel like I have failed a maths question! Reduce what you transfer to your dh.

THe answer is yes this is unfair

Me neither.

But anyway, let's put this in perspective.

If it costs 100,you are paying 50. Child 1 is paying 12.5, child 2 is paying 12.5 = husband is only paying 25!! Very noble of him! What a man.

Each child should pay 12.5 and each parent should pay 37.5 if you had to split it fairly. That way you are both taking the brunt of the children's savings.

It depends what your DH is doing with the money that the children send to him.

If he is saving it, so that it can get gifted back to them as a deposit or for white goods etc when the adult children decide to move out, then you shouldn't pay any less than before. If its being used to reduce your DH's part of the bill, then obviously that reduction needs to be shared between both of you. Most parents who take "rent" money from their adult children save it for them, don't they, unless they're in very dire financial staits? So both you and DH pay the same as before, and the children's contribution gets put to one side for the future?

Oh my, he's pulling a right fast one here, isn't he?

He's contributing nothing at all. But I bet he'll argue till the cows come home about it.

Like others have said why don't you have a joint account?!

This. Anything else just feels like covering your back in case you made a mistake. I moved in with my partner 25yrs ago, from that point onwards it was all about 'our money', never 'my money'.

This is it exactly. We agreed separate accounts because I wanted to be in control of my own money. He has been using the extra to save and can't understand why I don't. I can't afford to!!!