My husband has always struggled to keep his finances in check years of supporting family back home when his Dad died and low pay generally. He’s racked up debt before say £ 8K I’ve gone overdrawn up to £2.5K and we have pooled debt in interest free card and cleared to together I earn more. He did it again a few years ago tbh I think he’s never been honest about the amount he owes . Recently found a statement for £10k on credit card and challenged him on it said he had to be straight with me so we can tackle it I told him how upset I was and it hurt that he can’t tell me and how much he must be worrying. He’s a very proud Man and he said he wanted to deal with it himself but I knew it was just more interest piling up as he was only paying minimum Amy. So he agreed eventually for me to take out a loan I had £2.5 k debt again so we split it evenly and will pay back in 4 yrs. I’ve been doing overtime and he works 7 days a week .
I have always paid most of the bills from my account and he pays in £1k a month for Mortage and loan as I earn more I make up shortfall he has some bills TV and phone . Still should have about 500 a month though . I Had a feeling he wasn’t being honest he never has any money to spend on home self or us as a family . So I ended up looking through his post and found two more cards one with£10k and one with £2.5 looks like he’s just paid minimum and it’s accumulated as no actual spending on statements that I can see. I’ve deviated and feel sick. How do I confront him I feel sick thinking about it. I love him and married for 19 yrs I want us to sort it out as we are a partnership but feel he is not fully in partnership. It’s getting harder to deal with I was just about to get a loan to do the garden a shed for kids to hang out in around £6k with office as well now I’m worried about taking on more debt. So disappointed as kids were looking forward to it.
I have some savings £6.5 k that’s my running away money as I jokingly call it and we have 3.5k in joint savings account in my name as he agreed this. I don’t know if I should use that to start paying off debt.
mom so disappointed as have plans for retirement and to travel and do nice things together as we do BC.
how can I even bring it up when he point blank denied any more debt 4 months ago and again this week when I said are you coping with the payments for the loan we took out and I asked if he was sure he hadn’t any more cards and he said no no more cards . Any advice please I want us to come through this together but so upset I feel our marriage is a sham and a lie