spent all money.

[BB847]

I never thought Id be in this situation let alone writing this, I always thought Id be sensible with money. Now that I need to spend, Ive got nothing to spend. Im being honest but dont bash me, ive already done that to myself. Ill never make this mistake again!

So we agreed start of this year that Instead of contributing as much to the household Id get a hundred or so to put away and save into my own account for bigger purchases on myself like learning to drive etc. I dont work but hope to start next year.

Unfortunately I found that if I wanted to spend on myself like clothes I needed or treats however simple Id have to pay for it out of the amount. I dont get nice treats from him or anyone and Ive been miserable for years and years, so there was also a spiteful element to it and ive bit my own nose off. Now I really wish I had sat down with myself and carefully chosen a reasonable amount and budgeted because Im not happy with how much tat Ive bought with how much ive spent. I cant say it was worth it and ive got nothing to show for it. it wasnt even anything nice like a meal in a pub. it was things like amazon spends on things I didnt need and give no improvement to my life. I took the piss with how much I could reasonably spend on certain items. I dont know how ive done it either and I dread to look. nothing can be sent back. I may have some sort of shopping addiction!

DP asked if Id blown all my money but I didnt want abuse, Id never hear the end of it. He was relieved when I said I hadnt. He has no idea just how much Ive spent! Things need paying for now, I dont know what to say! The allowance isnt much, If I save up the allowance until the end of the year, I can just about muster up the cost of driving lessons , after that theres fuck all that I can afford. Ill have to tough it out for the rest of the year, its a cruel lesson to learn. I dont know what excuse Im going to come up with when he suggests I buy something and I cant.

I feel so alone. And without this money I feel a bit vulnerable too. Everyone else seems to be a lot more sensible with their money. I clearly cant be trusted. Im not sure what I want to get out of this post.

Well I dont know how much hes on and he wont tell me as he wants privacy but I he definitely gets more, he is able to spend money on fags and other bits, i wouldnt be able to afford for me to smoke too not that I want to

if youre both on benefits how do you afford 100 a month insavings

I would try to get an independent income if you can, and apply the same principle as him. Keep your money and he keeps his what is aside from household contributions

I'm thinking the OP may have learning disabilities and possibly isn't able to budget and may be why her DP dishes out ' pocket money '.

Are you still on benefits?

if it’s a joint claim his income should be on there.

I don't understand the set up here

Me neither Rowantree76. Very confusing post 🤔

He applied for benefits on behalf of both of us because we live together but he gets everything payed into his account, hes on disability and getting financial help from his mum. out of what he gets in total, he gives me a hundred or so. I know its very generous because of the financial situation.

Hell hate the phone ringing and me working as customer service but what else can be done lol

If it is a joint claim you should know how much you receive. Does he work as well do you mean?

Any job would be better than living like this, being given pocket money like a child.

"lol"

Lol 👀

If you dont have children id honestly just leave him. He sounds shit. Your life sounds shit. Another emotional angry man. So many on here tonight.

This is a very strange post

He's on disability benefits and he gives her £100 of the money that is supposed to support him in having a normal life, don't think he's the one in the wrong here.

He is also taking money off his mum.

do you actually, honestly, think this sounds like a good life?

@KilljoysDutch she said it's a joint claim.

And he actually gives her £100 out of their JOINT CLAIM.

All sounds a bit dysfunctional and shite tbh. Is there a reason neither of you have a job?

At the end of the day, if you want more money then one or both of you are going to have to go and earn it.

This makes no sense. A joint benefits claim would mean you can easily access your statements online each month, in fact the job centre would be contacting you regularly to monitor your job searches if you're able to work and you would be updating your online journal weekly.

Cleaning work is easy to pick up locally, no set up costs. Put an advert up locally and on the next door app. You can work a certain amount of hours before it affects your benefits.

"hes on disability" not we're on disability - he is.

@SmileyClare I didnt want to go into so many details but Ive already said so much so might as well. This was more of a vent thread, I am in an abusive relationship. He is in control of the finances and everything to do with them, no I cant access anything online to tell me how much hes getting and there are no jobs locally that I can see as far as im aware they are all taken

It’s still confusing but there doesn’t seem to be anything to lol about.

Do you have children? Have you ever had a job?

So you believe it’s abusive but argued above it wasn’t abusive because that’s all that’s spare? And what’s the ‘lol’ about?

why don’t you work? You don’t appear to have kids. You need to leave.

All the jobs locally are taken? What sort of area or radius are we talking?