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How much should my baby's father be paying to live here?

26 replies

mumb3 · 14/03/2022 09:55

My 3mo babies father lives with me he has done for almost 2 years. At first he paid nothing as he was out of work due to Covid, eventually he started paying little bits here and there and now he pays £100 per week. He has a well paid job, self employed and usually earns at least £500 per week. He spends fortunes going out drinking and doing stuff with his mates and blows it all, never has any saving, but when I mention maybe he could contribute a little more he doesn't like it. The 400pm pays for all his food, toiletries etc and his share of the bills, he uses my car, and also we have this child together. Do you think he should be paying more? Child maintence calculation would have him paying £100 per week for our child alone if we weren't together plus he'd be paying to live somewhere else. I asked for an extra £50 per week as I thought that was reasonably fair but he basically said he was buying my new car for me then and he'd own most of it as my new car payments are £250 per month, which I can afford regardless of him paying any extra but that's just how he sees it. Any advice would be great. TIA

OP posts:
MadameFantabulosa · 14/03/2022 09:56

Kick him out.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 14/03/2022 09:56

@MadameFantabulosa

Kick him out.
Yep
Adelais · 14/03/2022 10:47

Why are you letting him live with you? You’d be better off living apart.

ThatsGoingToHurt · 14/03/2022 10:52

He’s taking the piss. Presumably there is no where he could rent and have all his bills and food paid for £100 per week. What are your household monthly expenses (including your DC) and split that in half! Presumably £800 per month (so half would be £400) barely scratches the surface!

Nothankyouv · 14/03/2022 10:52

He should be paying you child maintenance and he should be paying you rent. Look up spareroom.com to see what it’s reasonable to charge for renting a room in your area and charge him that (plus child maintenance).

Hoppinggreen · 14/03/2022 10:53

Nothing, he should be living somewhere else and sending you money for your child

dfendyr · 14/03/2022 10:54

Jesus Christ!! Why are you putting up with this, don't you deserve better???

Kick the fucker out

WouldIwasShookspeared · 14/03/2022 10:55

He should pay half of all bills and expenses.

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 14/03/2022 10:59

He should be paying at least half of all household bills and expenses and half of child expenses too. If he isn't then he's taking the piss.

LizDoingTheCanCan · 14/03/2022 11:05

Do you have other income?

Is this the druggy you posted about last year?

Tlollj · 14/03/2022 11:06

What the fuck have I just read.
So he’s the lodger? Getting cheap food, accommodation, cheap bills, and presumably sex. All for £100 pounds a week? He is taking the absolute piss out of you, and your child too. Get rid.

NoSquirrels · 14/03/2022 11:09

Why do you describe him as “your baby’s father” and not “my partner/boyfriend”?

He’s a scrounger. Kick him out. Now is a good time.

Movingonup22 · 14/03/2022 11:12

Christ how do women’s self esteem get so low???

Your life will be infinitely better without him - kick him out get child maintenance through CMS and have a lovely life with you and your baby

BurntO · 14/03/2022 11:13

God what a mess. Your poor kids. Put them first and tell him to leave

Kingharoldshairstyle · 14/03/2022 11:14

Why do you refer to him as only the babies father? You are actively in a romantic relationship with him? If he can’t contribute and won’t then end the romantic relationship.

PearPickingPorky · 14/03/2022 11:17

@LizDoingTheCanCan

Do you have other income?

Is this the druggy you posted about last year?

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 14/03/2022 11:18

@LizDoingTheCanCan

Do you have other income?

Is this the druggy you posted about last year?

Just seen the other thread. Holy fuck OP, why are you still with this utterly vile, piece of shit? And why are you teaching your daughters that this is how relationships should be?
BrimFullOfAsher · 14/03/2022 11:20

I'm confused, are you actually with him or are you separated but he lives with you?

If you're together, he should be paying around half of all bills (unless you earn significantly more then it would be reasonable to adjust % according to difference). If you're not together, then kick him out and go through CSA for maintenance

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/03/2022 11:20

My daughter had a very similar 'partner' - thought they could get away with 'living the life of Riley' for £100 a week.

Turns out the rest of his money was going on prostitution. He even had 'secret children' no one knew about (doesn't pay for them). Also, very dubious fake Facebook profiles where he harassed as many women that he could get away with. A total pervert.

Sling him out OP - best thing my daughter ever did.

Thing is - if they're self employed, then they can make it appear that their actual profit is so little that they get away with paying £8 a week in CMS.

CPL593H · 14/03/2022 11:24

What a marvellous parental partnership. Not. FGS, boot him out and get CMS involved straight away. You and your baby will be better off in every possible respect.

BlingLoving · 14/03/2022 11:30

Assume your'e not actually together? In which case, he should be paying you lodging fees AND, separately, child maintenance. Or, he can go live somewhere else, and just pay you the child maintenance.

FrownedUpon · 14/03/2022 11:33

Ridiculous. Get rid of the loser & put your poor children first.

AwayInMyMind · 14/03/2022 12:03

Christ. Kick him out !

cherryonthecakes · 14/03/2022 12:08

Very telling that you call him your baby's father at her than bf.

Get rid of this freeloader.

Ulchabhan · 14/03/2022 12:25

Sounds like you have two babies in residence.