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Original poster

Do I put his name on the house?

35 replies

flowerpots2 · 11/01/2022 19:35

I have inherited a sum of money from a family member that, coupled with my savings, will be enough to purchase a property without a mortgage.

My DP and I are currently renting. We are engaged and have 2 DCs.

My question I suppose is, what should I do? If I purchase a house in my name only, will the house automatically become an ‘asset of the marriage’ when we get married (planning for 2024) or if we were to split, would I retain full ownership of the house? If I were to put DP’s name on the deeds at the point of purchase, is there a way to protect my investment if we were to hypothetically split?

I am extremely happy with our relationship and do believe we will be together forever, but doesn’t everybody? I’m a naturally cautious cynical person in many ways and I have seen things go wrong in relationships in my own family to be sure everything always works out the way you hope.

I’m conscious it sounds like I’m already considering splitting and I’m really not! I just want to be pragmatic, you just have to look here on MN to see how many relationships breakdown unexpectedly, I think I’d be foolish not to at least consider the implications.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions / advice.

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 11/01/2022 21:18

If it’s all your savings, saved independently of your partner then no I’d keep it in my name only. Not sure how your partner will feel about that though

GoodnightGrandma · 11/01/2022 21:21

You need legal advice about ring fencing your money. Don’t be embarrassed about doing it, it’s very sensible for your and your children’s future.

Soontobe60 · 11/01/2022 21:21

As you have children, I’d be very careful about putting anything in his name. If you were to split and he got half of everything, that could end up belonging to his next wife and bypass your children completely.
Seek advice from a solicitor first.

Shouldbedoing · 11/01/2022 21:22

I believe you can ring-fence inheritance money as not being part of a marriage settlement. You're being wise to think of protecting your assets. A few years down the line, maybe some children together and you could make your property joint if it felt right.

ProudThrilledHappy · 11/01/2022 21:22

I wouldn’t do it. If he is on the deeds and you split then the property is equal. What if he left you with the kids and forced a sale? You would be looking to house yourself and the children on half equity.

Since there will be no mortgage you would be better to save together and maybe buy an investment property together

mrsbyers · 11/01/2022 21:24

See a solicitor and get a declaration of trust , means that if you do split the house is sold and your investment into it is protected , I have this in place on my property and get the first X thousand and remainder would be split 50:50 less settlement of small mortgage

titchy · 11/01/2022 21:27

Don't do it! And don't get married! Make a will though.

2DogsOnMySofa · 11/01/2022 21:33

What @mrsbyers said

boymum88 · 11/01/2022 21:37

Seek Legal advise. I would protect your investment. Then look at getting a 2nd property together that you can rent out and have as a joint investment.

Amara5 · 11/01/2022 21:44

You have 2 DC together? I think if you’re committing to the relationship you share everything. That’s the whole point of marriage. If you want a different sort of relationship you need to discuss it with him. If the DC aren’t his then it’s slightly different.

Original poster
flowerpots2 · 11/01/2022 21:53

@Darbs76

If it’s all your savings, saved independently of your partner then no I’d keep it in my name only. Not sure how your partner will feel about that though
Thank you for coming back to me. Sorry about the replies, I'm on the app and can't figure out how to quote multiple people in one reply.

The savings that I'd be investing in the property are solely mine. We do have a joint account that all bills, childcare etc are paid out of and a joined savings account that any remaining balance is transferred into monthly but I wouldn't be using that for this property.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowerpots2 · 11/01/2022 21:54

@GoodnightGrandma

You need legal advice about ring fencing your money. Don’t be embarrassed about doing it, it’s very sensible for your and your children’s future.
You've hit the nail on the head here really, I think I am embarrassed because it does feel a bit doom and gloom to even be thinking about this when we're so happy.

But I do want to be sensible!

OP posts:
Original poster
flowerpots2 · 11/01/2022 21:55

@Soontobe60

As you have children, I’d be very careful about putting anything in his name. If you were to split and he got half of everything, that could end up belonging to his next wife and bypass your children completely. Seek advice from a solicitor first.
We discussed the prospect of having wills drawn up a while ago so that any assets either of us have/acquire are put into trust for the DCs in the event of one of us dying to prevent a future partner getting half. But we haven't discussed what would happen if we were to split - it's not an easy topic to raise!
OP posts:
Original poster
flowerpots2 · 11/01/2022 21:56

@ProudThrilledHappy

I wouldn’t do it. If he is on the deeds and you split then the property is equal. What if he left you with the kids and forced a sale? You would be looking to house yourself and the children on half equity.

Since there will be no mortgage you would be better to save together and maybe buy an investment property together

That's a good idea, thank you.
OP posts:
Original poster
flowerpots2 · 11/01/2022 21:58

@Amara5

You have 2 DC together? I think if you’re committing to the relationship you share everything. That’s the whole point of marriage. If you want a different sort of relationship you need to discuss it with him. If the DC aren’t his then it’s slightly different.
DC are his. I think I'm just being pessimistic about what could possibly go wrong. As I said in my OP, I tend to be quite a cynical person and I worry that I'd look back on this moment if the worst were to happen and think I should have been smarter about this. I fully intend for this not to ever be an issue of course, but in reality - you just don't know. Everyone who gets married thinks it'll be forever (I assume) and sometimes it just doesn't work out that way
OP posts:
theNumbersStation · 11/01/2022 22:03

See a solicitor and protect your investment.

I’m with titchy on this one.

Prawn9910 · 11/01/2022 22:13

Hi op , I was going to say as you want to be married and have children together then yes absolutely put him on . But as dc are his , I would hold off getting and I would speak to a solicitor . You could always revisit at a later date .

Nat6999 · 11/01/2022 23:39

If you have more money than he does then think long & hard if you really want to get married. If you do marry & then split he can make a claim on the house & any money you can have, don't put his name on the house either.

silentpool · 12/01/2022 04:51

Protect your inheritance - see a lawyer. I see no reason why you can't both invest an equal amount in a joint property, as a separate matter, after you are married. Does he have savings?

A lot of marriages fail and this would always give you a cushion to fall back on as well as being inherited by your kids and not some new wife.

SpringDaisies · 12/01/2022 05:24

So, as I see it, you have X options:

  1. Deed in your name only: use only your savings and inheritance and buy a house only in your name on the deeds (no mortgage). Both you and your DP benefit in not having to pay rent, you also benefit in having an asset, which will appreciate in time.

  2. Deed in both names: use your $ to put down half the cost of the house and DP take out a mortgage and only he pay the other half off. Advantages - you both have the same asset, appreciating at the same time and are partners in it. Disadvantages, your money is separate, he is paying more each month and it could be a source of aggravation each month.

  3. A variation of point 2, you buy some of the property with a mortgage on the rest, and ‘ring fence’ your deposit, to get back in the event of a split. No point in doing this if you own the property outright, as you would need to ringfence the entire amount, and that is the same as putting just your name on the deeds. This might be the most acceptable way to do it for your partner’s feelings, but they still get half of any increase in equity on the house on the part that isn’t ring fenced. This is a pretty good deal for putting no money in.

  4. You buy an investment property solely in your name with your funds, and you and DP continue to save for a deposit for a joint house. You will get rent from the investment property and can save more.

If it was me I would do 1 or 3. I might try and get the solicitor or the Will’s executor to ‘insist’ on doing number 1, to safeguard my assets while not making me be the bad guy. And I’d point out a lot that:
A) paying no more rent was an advantage both both of us and
B) let’s keep saving and buy an investment home together (joint 50:50) so you have property too, DP!

Original poster
flowerpots2 · 12/01/2022 07:27

Thank you @SpringDaisies I also like options 1 & 3.

I will consult a lawyer before doing anything anyway, I just wasn't too sure what options were available as I am first time buyer so thank you all for your suggestions!

OP posts:
2DogsOnMySofa · 12/01/2022 07:32

@SpringDaisies if the op has the deeds in her name (option 1) and they get married, doesn't the property become a martial asset anyway?

InvincibleInvisibility · 12/01/2022 07:36

Its not being cynical its being sensible and walking into the situation with your eyes open.

Its a very smart question to ask.

DH and I are married, share bills etc. But its relative to our income (he pays 75% I pay 25%) and our flat is owned relative to what each of us could afford (I pay 27%). Its odd to a lot of people (well it would be if they knew about it but we dont discuss it) but works for us.

We live in France and there are 3 ways to get married

  1. all assets in 1 pot
  2. everything earned before marriage is kept separate, everything after in 1 pot
  3. everything kept separate

Ive had 2 different lawyers recommend to me to keep everything separate even though Im the lower earner. If we were to divorce DH would pay child maintenance and spousal maintenance as Im the lower earner.

rwalker · 12/01/2022 07:37

Totally right to protect your assets.

How different the replies when it's the woman with money .

SavoyCabbage · 12/01/2022 07:44

How different the replies when it's the woman with money

Yes, you are so right. Women are forced into thinking about this in a different way because
a) women are far less likely to exit a relationship and leave the children with their partner.
b) women have their earning power curtailed as they are usually the ones who give up their careers to look after children and even when they are working it's usually the women who are taking days off for ill dc or who are leaving at 3:30 because the childminder can't get there.

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