Do I put his name on the house?

[flowerpots2]

I have inherited a sum of money from a family member that, coupled with my savings, will be enough to purchase a property without a mortgage.

My DP and I are currently renting. We are engaged and have 2 DCs.

My question I suppose is, what should I do? If I purchase a house in my name only, will the house automatically become an ‘asset of the marriage’ when we get married (planning for 2024) or if we were to split, would I retain full ownership of the house? If I were to put DP’s name on the deeds at the point of purchase, is there a way to protect my investment if we were to hypothetically split?

I am extremely happy with our relationship and do believe we will be together forever, but doesn’t everybody? I’m a naturally cautious cynical person in many ways and I have seen things go wrong in relationships in my own family to be sure everything always works out the way you hope.

I’m conscious it sounds like I’m already considering splitting and I’m really not! I just want to be pragmatic, you just have to look here on MN to see how many relationships breakdown unexpectedly, I think I’d be foolish not to at least consider the implications.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions / advice.

@silentpool

Protect your inheritance - see a lawyer. I see no reason why you can't both invest an equal amount in a joint property, as a separate matter, after you are married. Does he have savings?

A lot of marriages fail and this would always give you a cushion to fall back on as well as being inherited by your kids and not some new wife.

He doesn't have separate savings as such. He's self employed and his business is doing very well. He currently has money invested in his business (ie he owns assets within the company) but should the need for cash arise he could place those assets on lease to release the capital, if that makes sense? He isn't currently a limited company so the assets of the business are his assets, for now. He's looking at becoming a limited company in the future and begin taking more of a fixed wage that he can save, independently to the business, from.

I agree with @titchy

I'm engaged to DP. We live in my mortgage free house. Love him dearly but no way would I put him on the deeds and no way will I be marrying him.

Once we're married he'd get half the house if we spilt and my DC would be significantly worse off in the future.

Engaged is enough for us!

@SavoyCabbage

How different the replies when it's the woman with money

Yes, you are so right. Women are forced into thinking about this in a different way because
a) women are far less likely to exit a relationship and leave the children with their partner.
b) women have their earning power curtailed as they are usually the ones who give up their careers to look after children and even when they are working it's usually the women who are taking days off for ill dc or who are leaving at 3:30 because the childminder can't get there.

This is a consideration actually. I currently work but am on a 2 year contract as a consultant, I have been doing this (on rolling 2 year contracts) for 6 years but although my current employer has already indicated they would like to renew my contract again, there is of course the possibility they won't. That could potentially make me, to a degree financially dependent on him for a time. We have also been discussing the possibility of me not renewing the contract and becoming a SAHP for a few years when the DCs start school.

I have another income stream from a business I own with my father, that takes up approximately 5-10 days a month of my time, so I wouldn't be entirely dependent on DP but, say a large house expense arises, the cost would probably have to fall to DP. Which isn't necessarily fair if he has no interest in the property - other than of course not having to pay rent.

Investigate a buy to let fully, depending where you live there are significant tax implications on the full amount of rent earned. Capital gains tax upon sale of the asset. These do affect the returns and gains significantly when you sell.
Personally I'd ring fence some of your inheritance and invest some in tax efficient investments.
With interest rates so low you could make some of your lump sum do more in stocks and shares and this way you'd have a nest egg for the future.
Get the short fall of the property value in a joint mortgage this way you're both contributing but your hefty deposit will make this a more comfortable amount.
Once you're married assets will be split 50:50 if you separate, but if you get legal advice you could ring-fence your inheritance sum.
Also sort out a will so that your DC become benefactors on your death.

Agree that the answers would be different if it were a man asking.

But I never agreed with the standard MN theory that a man should hand over half his assets 5 mins after moving in together.

Marriage laws were designed when people got married very young and only once and hence built up assets together as a couple. It's time for a rethink on the division of marital assets legally IMO.

Your DP may be incredibly fair and loyal but what if you die young, he remarries and has a long, happy 2nd marriage with kids, he then dies and his second wife and their kids take the lot leaving your kids disinherited?

You see that scenario all the time on here where kids from the 1st marriage are pushed out.

Buy the house now, in your sole name.

Your DP will benefit as presumably he will not be paying rent.

Put what you both save in rent into shared savings, or both saving towards a bigger house or an investment or whatever.

But also talk to a solicitor about ring fencing your property / inheritance on marriage.

I'd agree with other PPs and question why you want to get married.

I was the higher earner for the majority of my marriage and brought all the equity into marriage (in fact I owned 2 houses when I met him) - he brought some nice debt. We married and had children.

I always thought he was the most honest, decent guy - almost old fashioned in how much of a gentleman he was. Turns out, I was incredibly wrong - although this did not become apparent until a few years later.

Despite having a pre-nuptial agreement, having sole custody of the children (no visitation at all) and receiving no child support from him at all, I still ended up having to pay him a lump sum on divorce. I could have fought it, but having experience in the field I knew it would have probably (definitely) cost more in legal fees to do so and it was cheaper to just pay him off, even though the prospect was hard to swallow.

You have to bear in mind that there is a difference between technically legally protecting your assets, and the practicalities of doing so. Even with the best legal advice and documentation in place, it is always open to challenge and with that comes expensive legal fees.

In my now cynical opinion, women are sold a romantic vision of marriage. However it is a legal, binding, financial agreement - I don't think people really give enough thought to what that means in cold, hard, business like terms.

In many cases marriage does protect women who will generally be the ones to take the career/financial hit that follows having children. BUT when the woman is the higher earner and/or has significantly more assets, I would give serious thought to the fact that if the relationship breaks down, it is going to cost you in financial terms. And if you are left holding the bag in terms of the costs and responsibility for any children, can you really afford that ?

Statistically, there is a good chance a marriage will fail these days. No one ever really goes into a marriage thinking it will happen to them, but a lot of people are wrong there.

I had this same situation. The house was in my name only, and when we moved and bought jointly (with my massive deposit) I went to a solicitor and got a Property Adjustment Order to reflect that 70% of the house was mine. It was important to me to protect my security and protect my children's future inheritance.

I'm married, currently relatively happy but bitterly regret putting my husband on the mortgage and house deeds. I have come to realise that (not that we want to) I can't actually afford to leave him. Notwithstanding we both work in professional well paid jobs. He's an idiot with money always buying clothes etc whereas I'm a saver. This has always been a source of friction. I've always paid the mortgage yet that counts for nothing (even though his ability to work has not been curtailed by me at all). You have children. Ring fence it for them. He's protected (more than he should be in my view unless he already does the bulk of child caring) if you actually marry and if you don't why should he benefit from your windfall. We are likely to be over the inheritance tax threshold so I plan to make some "tax planning" arrangements to make sure my assets go to my children and not to any future family my husband may have. You are being very sensible thinking this through now.

Put it in your name and write a will leaving your estate to your DC. You could put it in trust to DC so that partner could live there with DC until they are older.

You may also want to consider putting Grandparents or sibling as trust guardians rather than partner?

If/when you are married the will would become void. You would need to write a new one including partner.

If you need to do large house repairs or modifications you would be able to release equity from the property like any other homeowner. Don't use this as a reason to write off half of your inheritance.

PP saying how different it is when women post about money. This is EXACTLY what a man would do. They would also insist on a prenup.