Are there any regular people left in London?

[Psychgrad]

I moved to London 6 years ago (from another country) and struggle to meet likeminded people. Currently I’m living in an affluent part of London but my lease is up soon and I’m open to living somewhere more normal. It seems most people I meet have grown up here, went to private school, followed all the social rules like going to university, focusing on career, getting married, having children in that order- as a result they all live very wealthy lifestyles now. I’m more of a floaty, creative person and as a result have had my fair share of financial hardships. I’m obviously aware that there is a lot of poverty here too but where are the regular people? What about the struggling artsy types who I always used to meet in my hometown? What about teachers and nurses who typically have normal income? I’d like to make some friends with people who had a similar upbringing to me. I grew up in quite a disadvantaged area, did well for myself eventually but still don’t earn anything compared to my London friends. There’s times when I’m broke and then there’s times I feel I’m doing well. As much as I love my friends here, I find it hard to be fully understood by them and would like to mix with more interesting people. Even the original working class areas in London have a huge rich/ poor divide and I think I’d still struggle to find people who are middle of the road. I don’t feel I fit in anywhere in London as I’m not ‘posh’ but I’m not really working class either. It seems people here either have crazy high salaries or they are really in poverty. Maybe I’m over generalizing but that’s how I feel. I have tried to meet people from all walks of life by volunteering etc but it seems so hard to meet people who are sort of low- middle income in London.

I can’t understand why the OP is getting such a hard time. Independent of your own experiences, it’s really obvious she was coming from a good place. Jesus.

It gets harder to meet people as we get older. Lots of my friends are from work (corporate) so while they often come more affluent backgrounds than me, we’re mostly in a certain salary range. For a while, when I was younger, I was the only one making semi-decent money in a non-creative job (didn’t know the friends previously mentioned) and because I used to be a musician, all the friends I’d made along the way were struggling arty types.

And re: Dulwich. Yes it’s both normal and affluent in equal parts - but you’d have to have done fairly good as a ‘normal person’ to live here. Same as blackheath.

Also - because I’m on one apparently - the OP knows there are middle income and fellow floaty folks! She’s wondering how she can find them as it’s not happening organically so far.

I know nurses exist - would love to be friends with one - but I have not met one outside my in-hospital activities in the 12 years I’ve been here! And no I’m not a twat (in this way at least), I’m just not out in social settings where I’d meet new people all the time.

@TeachesOfPeaches

What about Deptford or New Cross? Goldsmiths university means there are lots of arty types around there.

Erm, personally I’d give these two areas a very wide berth…

Look at Walthamstow and Tottenham. The latter has lots of young creative types and young families who got priced out of Dalston and moved further up the A10. Lots of transformed warehouses to rent spaces and seems to be London’s brewing capital! Rent in both places is still affordable and there are lots of green spaces and it’s on the canal.

If, as a pp explained, £40k is a standard salary in London for eg an experienced NHS or teacher job, but you earn quite a bit less than this, I can see how you would feel a bit out on a limb.

Have you tried joining an adult education class you're interested in, eg at City Lit or similar? They used to have a graduated fee structure and it meant the classes were a genuine mix of people who all shared an interest but had different financial situations.

The younger half of the age range in London are either high net worth, minimum wage poor or got out altogether.

I was able to rent quite happily in Battersea as a young creative but had to leave London to buy. Most of the people I grew up with in London also left. Even the high finance ones are in Surrey or “off shore”.

If I were you I’d get out entirely and go somewhere with a more creative vibe (Hastings, Taunton, Liverpool, Hebden Bridge, Norwich, Brighton, Southampton, Stroud, Dundee, Cardiff, Nottingham, Bristol and so on, depending on sector and budget.)

A good trick is to search for where the alternative (Montessori or Steiner) primary schools or big Home Education networks are. That is not me indicator of where the “crunchy” creative types are.

Also look to see which places have been designated cities of Culture or Literature.

You really do need somewhere with a surviving creative middle class if you are going to find your people.

@Plexie my DH grew up in Hendon and I daresay most of his friends were privately educated. Including one friend who lived in a two up two down in Finchley Central but he was an only child and his parents sent him to Habs. Maybe OP would classify him as 'affluent' as he went to private school and his dad is qualified as a barrister but really he/his family are far from it. I think private school used to be more accessible to the middle classes in the past, and London comprehensives were not as good as they are now.

That being said, I live in East Finchley and there are a lot of normal people here. The people who bought houses recently would be more on the affluent end as they are often £1.4 million and above but there is a high concentration of flats. I also think flats in zone 3 and outwards would be less appealing to affluent people as they tend to want a house in suburban areas; and affluent young professionals would want to rent somewhere more buzzy. I think there would be more 'normal' families in areas in zone 5 with lacklustre high streets i.e. Harrow/Edgware/Wembley as i think the fashionable thing to do now is to go straight to the Home Counties for space.

I bought my flat in 2019 and am quite normal; despite being in north london, it cost us £400k which I think is below london average. I have seen rooms in the area with advertised rent of £500 which is really quite low for london.

Blasted autocorrect. I meant to say “that is normally an indication of where the crunchy creative types are”.

bought my flat in 2019 and am quite normal; despite being in north london, it cost us £400k which I think is below london average. I have seen rooms in the area with advertised rent of £500 which is really quite low for london.

I m fairness most people imagine themselves to “be normal”, but £400,000 flat cost two years ago isn’t something a loan nurse or teacher could manage without a hefty deposit. Probably not OP either from her description.

@Thoosa I don't have high net worth, not on minimum wage and bought in London! in 2019. Am 29 years old. I did marry a london born DH and we lived with family for 3 years to save our deposit.

I find while many of the people who stay in London permanently do fall into the 'extremely wealthy' and 'qualify for council housing' group, there is a third group- ethnic minority. Many of us have immigrant parents or parents in laws who bought when london housing was cheaper in the 1990s; my DH's mum bought her z3 london house when it was 100k and next to a drug dealer. This enables us to stay in London and save; or some of the more self-sacrificial parents downsize their homes (one of my MIL's friends did this; sold her house to downsize to a small flat so her two children could get deposits & both bought in London; one of her children was a freelance gardener so would never have gotten a mortgage). Ethnic minorities are more likely to stay in London due to the community/family network despite high property prices. A lot of white native londoners who bought at a favourable time would prefer to decamp to the countryside as they grow older which means their children lose their advantage in the london property market unless the parents cough up cash to help them; and the children are less likely to want to stay in london anyway as they have no support networker once grandchildren are in the picture.

Yes I can see living cheaply with wider family for several years would be one approach to get round it, but presumably not available to OP, and the shrinking of the middle income London demographic still means OP has a smaller pool of people too find friends in.

To not too.

I lived in North London as a teenager - Muswell Hill area. A lot of my friends have moved away, but those still in London on 'normal' wages live in places like Bounds Green, Finsbury Park, Stoke Newington, Hackney. Clapham/Balham used to be popular south of the river but I'm going back 20+ years now!

House prices in London have gone nuts in recent years

Thats a bit weird. If rich people to you earns 40k-50k and you met privately educated people. I truly doubt it. I live in london. Earn 70k and i still couldn’t afford to put my son in private school. You need to earn at least 100k to put your kids in private school.