New baby WWYD?

[Neomisnice]

DP & I are expecting.

We have minimal savings really, but luckily low living expenses.

When i am on maternity i will be living on £800 a month. But more than half of that will go to half the household expenses and food which is what i do now with my full salary.

The rest goes to my bare essential bills, leaving no money for baby stuff, nappies milk clothes etc, plus general day to day spending. So i am saving like mad now to prepare.

In terms of DP, what would you expect from him? Maybe take away the food and bills element out of my money to allow for the baby stuff?

Not married.

No intention from him of sharing the financial burden properly.

I really really hope this baby is having your surname OP?

@Neomisnice

I don't think he will like the idea of everything in the same pot. He always says he works hard to get where he is now and thats his money.

So alternative to that would be potentially working out how much is needed for the month and split proportionate to income?

I guess i feel weird about it because i have a child who lives with us so he will be bearing the brunt of that financially too which feels a bit unfair. He also has a child but they don't live here, only stay 2 weekends a month.

So you're not a partnership then

[quote Neomisnice]@LIZS oh no he does but i suppose i feel like i should pay more because of him supporting my child now.

We live in a house we bought together 5 years ago. Which i have about 70% share of[/quote]
Why would you pay more.to support your child? Is he the father? Go to work full-time this man is not your partner

It's scary how common this is. In my baby group almost all have this arrangement it's depressing.

OP stop thinking in terms of his children your children. If you're all a family, it's family expenses. Pooling money and having access to the family money is the only logical solution. And you should be saving equally too. You're providing the household with the ability to care for your child - don't devalue your own time here.

If she marries then won’t she have to share the house too. It’s currently 70% hers.
I think these situations are so tricky. I’d want to keep things mostly separate but with a communal pot too. Obviously the OP should not be out of pocket for having to be off work with the pregnancy and child.