Cost of living is drowning us

[BlairSinclair]

We have a decent income between us (£3k/month) but the cost of living down south is breaking us. After rent, bills and childcare we have

I think we’d have so see a breakdown of the monthly outgoings, know what age kids you have etc. to try and make suggestions. It’s great you’ve got some form of deposit for a house at least, although I understand it doesn’t go far at the moment.

Are your children

Can you lay out your finances in a bit more detail? It’s hard to make suggestions with little detail.

It’s rent and childcare killing you- I’d say both those things are relatively high wherever you live

Will your childcare costs reduce soon ish (when they start school)? That could make a big difference.

@TumtumTree

Will your childcare costs reduce soon ish (when they start school)? That could make a big difference.

Doesn’t really! Why do people say this? School is 9-3, and all the endless holidays- working parents still need to fund childcare.

Get a,smaller house?
One you can extend in future
If you cannot have the hpuse you want get one you caN afford

Or buy flat if cheaper?

Move closer to dh job?

You may not want to do this but I know a couple of young families that have moved to lower cost areas of the UK.

LO is 1 year old so in nursery but with gp’s 1day/week - we moved closer to them so this was possible. I WFH pretty much full time and DH is home 2 days/week. We need to be near GPs as I do travel for work and can be gone for a couple of days so DH needs the support with pickup/dropoff.

Rent - 1200
Childcare - 763 (950 - tax free)
Council tax -150
Energy - 150 (billing cock up means we’re catching up from press winter)
Water - 30
Car ins 2 cars - 105 (DH is a new driver)
Life ins - 35-40
Petrol - £300
Internet - 24
Phone - 15
Credit card - 100 (paying off my car)
Groceries - aiming for 60/week

That’s what I can remember off the top of my head. DH says his petrol is £200 a month so I want to check that or if he’s spending it on his hobby.

We’re a sucker for a takeaway so I’ve banned those from today. There’s been a few unexpected expenses recently which haven’t helped. We buy LOs clothes second hand where we can but there isn’t much online at the moment in his size that’s season appropriate.

People saying to just move, do you know how much it costs to move house? Even to rent you have to find deposit, fees and rent in advance, plus removals. I know how you feel OP, my income/ outgoings are similar. Childcare costs are crippling. Is there anything you can do to reduce these? Changing work pattern, etc?

In smaller terms...

• Have you checked your utilities for cheaper providers?

• Have you checked for cheaper options on all insurances when they come up for renewal on a market comparison site?

• Have you decluttered your house and wardrobe and sold what you can on eBay?

• Have you transferred any credit card debt over to a 0% APR one?

• Can you move closer to DH's work?

• Can DH look for a job closer to home?

• Have you checked 'Entitledto' to make sure you're getting everything you're entitled to in terms of tax credit type benefits?

• Have you gone through your bank statements to see where your money is going and what can be reduced or cancelled?

Brutal. Literally the only option I can think of is to ask if your son can go to the grandparents another day a week to reduce childcare costs.

£3k a month combined income isn’t really a decent income if you want to live down south.

We have £4.5k joint, I only work 2 days to keep childcare costs down but they can still be £600 some months for 2 kids. Our council tax is £250 and our mortgage £900 so our outgoings aren’t much less than yours despite living in the Midlands where it’s meant to be much cheaper. The main difference is ours isn’t rent it’s a mortgage.

@Embracelife I think that’s the option once this tenancy is up, but even rents around here are bad and there isn’t much about. I’ll do anything to avoid a flat as LO is the outdoorsy type and will be outside whatever the weather. Our own garden means we can at least do other things while he’s outside.

@wheresmymojo I’d love to start selling but seem to make next to nothing on stuff. Will be giving it a go for the next six weeks to make up some cash for Christmas!

I'd buy a smaller property than what you need and a flat if need be - then save the difference between rent and mortgage and also the cheaper child care fees when DS starts school.

There are flats with gardens.

@Tigerwhocameforsupper it’s mad isn’t it? I knew having a kid would mean significantly higher outgoings but I was not prepared for how bad it would be.

I love my job but I’m coming to terms with the fact I have to get a new one. I have the experience and I’m being headhunted for bigger salaries but I lack confidence in my abilities tbh. I had pretty bad PPA/D triggered by the birth, pandemic and life stress. Thankfully that’s resolved but it has knocked my confidence.

We have a similar combined income & live in the Midlands. We have 3 DCs but all at an age where we no longer need childcare.

We would struggle to afford £1200 a month rent let alone almost £800 on childcare.

I understand why you are struggling.

If you have a deposit, are there any shared ownership schemes nearby? Combined rent and mortgage may well be less than your current rent (I checked it out recently and would be at least £400pm cheaper for us than renting a similar house) and you'd be using your deposit pot for something useful. Currently savings get shit interest and property prices probably won't be dropping.
In future when your costs for childcare fall, you could save more and staircase up to full ownership.

@TabithaTiger I looked at swapping to a 9day fortnight but with the childcare timing restrictions and business’ requirements (full lunch break, has to be worked in two continuous blocks) I literally cannot make the times work.

@PermanentTemporary we’ve discussed this but in all honesty, it’s not fair to them. I’m significantly older than my youngest sibling (older teenager when they were born - surprise but very much loved baby) so they still have them at home and ailing parents who ask a lot of them. I won’t push them to breaking point. The other GPs either live too far or have their own issues which means it’s not possible.

I’m just tired of feeling like we aren’t getting anywhere in life!

I think it's going to come down to earning more money. If you can both bring in another 500 a month you would be much more comfortable

I know thats easier said than done but I don't see how you can cut your outgoings enough for it to make a difference.

@RagzReturnsRebooted I haven’t actually - will look into that. Always thought the combined outgoings would be worse than we are now. Do you reckon it would work even if it’s just as a few years stopgap to build up a bit of equity?

The £100 that might be going on DH’s hobby is the first thing to sort out!