Cost of living is drowning us

[BlairSinclair]

We have a decent income between us (£3k/month) but the cost of living down south is breaking us. After rent, bills and childcare we have

Some small savings perhaps - do you have energy saving light bulbs and use an air fryer instead of regular oven?

Exactly what @WombatChocolate says.

You have to understand that you are actually making a lot of active choices in the situation that you're in.

A choice to live where you live, in that type of property, near to family, with two vehicles, whilst your DH is training/studying, whilst you prepare for career development. These are all HUGE positives and all things that you COULD change if you need to. These will knock the takeaways and phone contracts out of the park.

You're going to have to make some sacrifices on some of these for long-term gains. These are choices that you have. See it as a positive.

Have you tried a mortgage calculator (on the Halifax site, or elsewhere)? It's important to see what figure they would be prepared to lend you tbh.

@whattodo2019

£3k income per month is very little. Do you work full time? You ideally need to double your monthly income.

This made me laugh. So by your maths they need a take home income of 6k a month. That's a 50k salary each. I don't know what planet you live on but lots of very capable, intelligent, experienced people won't ever earn 50k a year. I work in finance and have for 20 years. You need years of experience to do the job I do yet it's 40k max then standard annual increases. Haven't had any sort of bonus for 10 years. For 3 years we didn't even get payrises

Sorry I have just seen your we can't get a mortgage for the house size we want. We can't either, so if we ever want to be able to buy, we are looking at a) moving somewhere at lot cheaper b) winning the lottery c) waiting for an inheritance or d) buying and living in a caravan.
There is nothing affordable here, unless its practically derelict, non-standard construction, or build on top of an old mine. Even then you need to pay cash. Plus more cash for repairs.
Also banks have really tightened up on their lending criteria, and if you don't have a good safety cushion, over and above your outgoings, they won't lend. Not to mention interest rates will be going up.
Sorry. The housing market in the UK is utterly ridiculous, and it seems particularly bad in London and the SW.

If your rents this high with childcare have you checked you can't claim UC ? The threshold is quite high when you've these costs.

yourwe can't get a mortgage for the house size we want. W

But that just reads as aspirations
I "want" a five bed
Can't get a mortgage for that
Make do with two bed or continue to rent (fir which you might get uc)

Op can be more specific
Has xx deposit
Could get a 2 or 3 bed size "help to buy" house for example
Lots in SE

Or garden flat shared ownership or help to buy

"Want" is not realistic

Communal garden
www.sharetobuy.com/properties/140668/

Your rent is eye watering. Could you find a night job and that would save you £700 straight away?

I would considering moving but I agree with another poster as well that it's not cheap to move house.

@notapizzaeater

If your rents this high with childcare have you checked you can't claim UC ? The threshold is quite high when you've these costs.

I wondered this too

I would seriously consider relocating if you can get jobs elsewhere. Yes, it's massively expensive to move, but the cost/income ratio down South will get worse, not better.

Petrol seems a lot, is there any way of reducing this? Would public transport once a week be cheaper.
Also do you really need 2 cars? Selling one could pay off towards your credit card or energy debt and then you would only need fuel and insurance for one car.

If you wfh full time can you not work around 1yo as that would save you a lot of money. Could gps help more. Is your job 9-5 or could you do the majority in the evening when dh can have baby?

Is there any luxuries or overspend on grocery? Are you throwing food away or buying brands for more money etc

I’m not saying it will be easy but it won’t be forever and drastic changes like that could save you a lot.

@tara66

Some small savings perhaps - do you have energy saving light bulbs and use an air fryer instead of regular oven?

Air fryer instead of regular oven? Please tell us more!

Do you truly need 2 cars? Is Uber or bus for nursery drop not an option?

Running 2 cars is an expensive luxury if you WFH.

I would rent something cheaper and fuel efficient to enable you to save to then buy something.

Better to rent something you'd rather than not live in if it means you could then buy surely?

How is your car insurance £105 A MONTH???

I’m a new driver. Mine is £400 a year for an Audi FSI 2.0 convertible. We made it cheaper through assessing the algorithm, taking it earlier than start date and DH made it cheaper being on it too

@audersandbaby

How is your car insurance £105 A MONTH???

I’m a new driver. Mine is £400 a year for an Audi FSI 2.0 convertible. We made it cheaper through assessing the algorithm, taking it earlier than start date and DH made it cheaper being on it too

When you say new driver, how new do you mean?

We followed Martin Lewis to the letter on when to get a quote, when to buy etc and insurance on a 2006 basic Ford Fiesta is still £77 a month for DS2 even with DH on his policy! He passed 2 years ago.

Your petrol costs sound astronomical! £300 for you, possibly £200 for your dh, when you're working from home most of the time? I know you said you travel a lot, but would it be totally impractical to swap your car for something more economical? Maybe keep one car as your family transport but get a little Nissan micra or something for solo trips?

Look at taking a journey North to the lands of cheaper houses and lower costs of living. Enjoy more financial freedom and peace of mind.
If local house prices are high, the deposit hard to accumulate your monthly repayments will also be high too its only going to get harder and more frustrating.
Take the leap if you can.

@ LynetteScavo - Google air fryers .

If you wfh full time can you not work around 1yo as that would save you a lot of money.
Have you met a 1yo?! Also, they get older, they nap less and run around more – no one is WFH with a 1yo or older, and most employers won’t allow it (Covid isolation excepting).

Doesn't matter if you have a deposit for a house you want or a much less ideal house.

If I were you, I'd buy whatever I can afford so that instead of paying rent every month you're building equity and in a few years regardless of house prices you'll be able to move (as your equity will also increase in house prices increase further).

You might also be able to temporarily reduce your costs by getting a mortgage on a smaller place (3 bed house up North came to a mortgage of under 800/mo for me, so much cheaper than equivalent rent).

Shared ownership can be tricky when it comes to selling so just be mindful of that.

You can’t afford your lifestyle.
You can’t afford the house you want.

You have to accept that, cut back and make changes. Sorry but it’s what everyone has to do. Be that reducing cars/childcare or moving away/downsizing.

Another small change, is where do you do your food shop? I used to shop in Sainsburys but now it's Lidl, the savings are not to be sniffed at, I did a HUGE shop in Lidl and it came to just under £50, the same shop in Sainsburys would have cost me well over £80 or probably more, it might not seem much but it all adds up, ok some of the stuff isn't branded but who cares? The only thing I buy in Sainsburys now is branded pet food because the animals are so fussy!

It's hard to save when you have young child(ren) in full time childcare. It does get easier as childcare cost reduce as they get older (and hopefully your salary rises!).

I'd look at whether you can manage with 1 car. If you wfh most of the time, can you just hire a car for your occasional work trips?

If you’re wfh most of the time but have to travel for work, don’t you get an allowance to cover your travel? If not, I’d consider getting any other job as this is making your wage look pretty low.

If you’re being head hunted, could you speak to your employer about a raise in salary or better working conditions? More flexibility in your role to perhaps condense your hours into 4 days?

Could GP’s take your lo for another half day and drop them into nursery for the other half? Or instead of helping with care for one full day, could they do 3 half days instead? This may reduce your childcare bill a bit and half days are much easier to entertain small children.

Would you be able to move slightly further north and have your DH stay with family on his office days but then return home on the other days?