Page 3 | How will I get a mortgage?

lollypop29 · 2021-10-03T18:28:27+00:00

Hi everyone First up I'd like to ask that you're all kind to me. My father passed away a few weeks ago and I am building up the courage to leave an abusive marriage. The thought that goes round and round my head before I leave my marriage is how on earth will I be able to get a mortgage? I have a daughter under the age of two, and am a SAHM at the moment. I will have child maintenance and a deposit of 230k, but i can't get a mortgage without a job so how on earth will I be able to house my daughter and I without renting? I will obviously get a job in due course, I currently have a very small business from home. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I have a high deposit, high child maintenance which I am so grateful for - however I just don't know where to start. Shared ownership? Help to buy? What can I do? Thankyou

LeroyJenkinssss · 03/10/2021 20:30

There’s a few properties in London if you look within 3 miles of central London. Not all suitable obviously but a fair number are reasonable here

FWBNC · 03/10/2021 20:32

((((HUG))))

Your STBXH is a bastard. Don't lose sight of that!! He wants you think you have no one, can't cope alone, need him, because he likes you being under his control! There are people that can help you with forms etc family friends/your friends/officials/people on here... you do NOT need him!

I is SO hard, I felt very lonely after my Dad died snd very 'on my own' My mum is lovely, but my Dad was the one who I knew would always be able to get me out of any situation should I need it. Who gave me more security & strength than I knew when he was alive.

It's very very hard, but you're stronger than you know and more people will help you than you think. Don't let him make you feel lonely/helpless/insecure!

You've got this x💐

FWBNC · 03/10/2021 20:36

I think it's easy for people who aren't single, who haven't just lost their Dad and are getting out of an abusive relationship, to say to move away.

Original poster

lollypop29 · 03/10/2021 20:38

@FWBNC

((((HUG))))

Your STBXH is a bastard. Don't lose sight of that!! He wants you think you have no one, can't cope alone, need him, because he likes you being under his control! There are people that can help you with forms etc family friends/your friends/officials/people on here... you do NOT need him!

I is SO hard, I felt very lonely after my Dad died snd very 'on my own' My mum is lovely, but my Dad was the one who I knew would always be able to get me out of any situation should I need it. Who gave me more security & strength than I knew when he was alive.

It's very very hard, but you're stronger than you know and more people will help you than you think. Don't let him make you feel lonely/helpless/insecure!

You've got this x💐

This is exactly how I feel. My dad was my rock. My mum is lovely too and very supporting, but it was my dad who I knew could help me through anything, and who believed in me when no one else did.

OP posts:

MilduraS · 03/10/2021 20:39

I'm a 40 minute train journey from London and my 3 bed end of terrace house is worth about 250k. Not a rough area and no major upgrades needed to the house. There are similar sized properties for less that need a bit more updating. If I were you I'd look at buying something outright without a mortgage.

Original poster

lollypop29 · 03/10/2021 20:39

The amount of times I've thought to myself how would I ever get through life without my dad, and now here we are.

OP posts:

Original poster

lollypop29 · 03/10/2021 20:40

@MilduraS

I'm a 40 minute train journey from London and my 3 bed end of terrace house is worth about 250k. Not a rough area and no major upgrades needed to the house. There are similar sized properties for less that need a bit more updating. If I were you I'd look at buying something outright without a mortgage.

Can I ask roughly where you are based so I can look at properties?

OP posts:

SpidersAreShitheads · 03/10/2021 20:48

OP, you will be entitled to some of the equity from your STBEX's property because you are married. It doesn't matter that you weren't on the mortgage. There's a thread somewhere else on this board at the moment with posters giving advice on exactly the same financial situation.

Book a free consultation with a solicitor as soon as you can to find out where you stand financially. Hopefully a share from the property plus the money you have coming to you will enable you to purchase a home, even if it's a little further out.

Please don't consider your STBEX as a guarantor - that just enables him to continue controlling you.

Original poster

lollypop29 · 03/10/2021 21:00

The solicitor said because of the cladding issue it's 'tricky' which wasn't very helpful advice 😞 but she's right. It does make things very tricky. It's looking like our cladding issue won't be over until around 2024 aswell

OP posts:

Vancouverorbust · 03/10/2021 21:07

be very wary to buy anything until you are divorced and gave a financial settlement

What is his pension like?
What would the flat be worth with no cladding issues? How much is still owed ?

Original poster

lollypop29 · 03/10/2021 21:10

I don't know what my husbands pension would be like. He works for himself so pays into it himself but hasn't been doing for a long time due to covid etc and not earning.

Our current home is worth about 850k

OP posts:

Fallagain · 03/10/2021 21:13

@lollypop29

I'll do more research into shared ownership, and will look into help to buy as I haven't done that yet. I didn't think they'd even consider me without a job.

I could potentially stay with my mum while I search for a job, however I'll only be able to work little hours as I need to care for my daughter and nurseries are so expensive

Unless you are earn a lot of money then you will get financial support with childcare. Look at funding for 2 year old and 3 year old and tax free childcare.

chopc · 03/10/2021 21:22

Why don't you want to rent? It is a very British thing to not want to do that. Europe/ US it's normal to rent - especially in the cities

HalzTangz · 03/10/2021 21:25

@lollypop29

I'm looking to buy where my mum lives so I have some support. But the average house price there is well above 230k and i can't even afford a flat there 😞

I've even looked at relocating all together, just to be able to afford a hoise

Could you not look slightly further out

Where I live (7 miles from a city),city property's are sky high, but bigger houses can be bought in my area for the same price as a studio flat in the city

Wegobshite · 03/10/2021 21:37

If your ex is self employed and a controlling asshole I wouldn’t bank on Child Support payments
It’s very easy for self employed to fudge the amount he earns
Plus it’s another way of controlling you

SpidersAreShitheads · 03/10/2021 21:44

@lollypop29

The solicitor said because of the cladding issue it's 'tricky' which wasn't very helpful advice 😞 but she's right. It does make things very tricky. It's looking like our cladding issue won't be over until around 2024 aswell

As part of the divorce agreement, he could take out a mortgage to pay you the share you're entitled to.

In your shoes, I'd probably settle for a slightly lower sum in order to get the money now rather than wait. That might make it more attractive to him - and could give you enough to buy your home when added to what you already have.

Original poster

lollypop29 · 04/10/2021 06:58

@SpidersAreShitheads that's a great idea. I didn't know that was possible

OP posts:

IslandNobodyIs2673 · 04/10/2021 13:28

Move to Esses or Suffolk, one hour away on the train
Buy a property out right

You will need money to pay the bills

If you have lots of money in the bank, you will NOT be able to claim benefits

IslandNobodyIs2673 · 04/10/2021 13:29

You will need a job

HermioneKipper · 04/10/2021 13:51

Oh I’m so sorry OP, can’t imagine how much you’re dealing with at the moment. Would your mum consider moving to Devon with you? It sounds like such a good opportunity for a fresh start

Tigerwhocameforsupper · 04/10/2021 17:56

@TakeYourFinalPosition

Are you declaring your small business income? Do you make enough, or could you step it up enough, that you could get a self employed mortgage?

£230k could get you a 4 bed detached in the Midlands!

I’m in the Midlands and my one bed flat was recently valued at £190k. It really depends where you are, but there’s no houses here for £230k… two bed flats, maybe three bed if you negotiated well.

It depends where in the Midlands you are as you say.

There are plenty of houses for less than £230k with 3-4 bedrooms in the Mansfield area.

welshladywhois40 · 05/10/2021 09:50

Hi, I would do the following :

gets some independent mortgage advice from a broker. I used Liam at LT mortgages and he gave me a lot of advice (bad credit history) before he got near selling me a mortgage. He only gets paid once you take a mortgage.
consider this a 2-3 year life plan. You may not be able to buy immediately but you can get your affairs into order first. So:

In that two years you rent and build a work history. Once your child is 3 you get more free hours and then school is getting closer so you can then try and get a mortgage with a stable job and lower childcare costs.

Rent for two years in an affordable London borough - squeeze into a one bed flat and compare areas for council tax - Lambeth vs Wandsworth is a huge difference. Plus nurseries - south east London vs south west London is hugely different.

Get financial advice or look up 2 year bonds where you could invest some of the money for a small return while you rent

Training/further education - a £230k lump sum is a huge advantage over most 20 somethings. You could use the money to subsidise your living costs while taking a lower paid role that leads to a qualification which improves your earning potential later on.

Lastly buy a property elsewhere and rent it out while you rent in London. Again that is an investment.

Outnumbered99 · 07/10/2021 13:55

OP i feel for you, i lost my dad suddenly too. I would say you need to prioritise leaving your husband, rent for a while, find your feet, get used to being "you" again. Steady yourself and your life with whatever benefits and childcare you are entitled to.

Grieve your dad, make yourself and your little one safe, then use your dads legacy to change your life as im sure he would have wanted.

Regarding the admin- Do you have a friend that could help you with forms? When the time comes to buy i would recommend a while of market broker, they will talk you through everything.

Cruiser11 · 08/10/2021 15:02

Could you relocate to somewhere like South East London/kent border and buy a two bedroom flat with no mortgage?