Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Splitting deposit fairly

58 replies

Livedandlearned · 02/10/2021 12:49

I have never had the opportunity to save for a deposit before, I've been divorced from exh for years and he is not a consistent payer for child maintenance un any way imaginable. I have 3 dc and have always worked and done my best to provide everything they need.

I remarried and my dh has savings which came from compensation from a car accident 12 years ago.

We rent a property currently but due to me recently inheriting 100k we are now in the process of buying a house.

My plan was to pay 75k to the deposit and dh pay 25. I wanted to use the remaining 25k to pay for anything that needed doing to the house, as well as new carpets and decorating. It needs a cooker, possibly a boiler.

This part is important to me as I've never had a home that is beautiful or even lovely, I've always been too poor.

Dh wants me to pay the full 100k deposit and he use his 25 for these things. I feel that he will want to take control and I can't bear that, in fact it makes me panicky just thinking about it.

What would be the right thing to do?

I should say that dh has paid the majority of the bills for years until I got a decent job that allowed me to contribute more.

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 02/10/2021 14:23

He earns 2 times my salary
my dh has savings which came from compensation from a car accident 12 years ago.

Why hasn't he saved more? Has he saved anything?

SwedishEdith · 02/10/2021 14:25

You can still be tenants on common if married,

www.theguardian.com/money/2017/oct/09/how-register-property-paid-unequal-deposits-split-50-50

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 02/10/2021 14:27

Ring fence your £100k deposit in property - that's the first £100k - first 2/5 of house is outright yours, rest (3/5) to will be shared equally between you.
Get legal advice ...

gogohm · 02/10/2021 14:29

I would suggest putting 87500/12500 in and ring fencing it. Then invest £12500 each in the house and all expenses 50/50 there after. Own the house 50/50 tenants in common after the ring fenced deposit is taken into account

Cocomarine · 02/10/2021 14:30

So, you have £100K inheritance and no savings.
He has £25K compensation and no savings.
And you both think it’s a good idea to piss 20% of that on cushions?!
OK, I’m being OTT there… but seriously, think about this… why would you spend ALL your money on the house and furnishings.
Keep your emergency money back, for a start.

I would take some time to have a really serious think about whether you want to be married. The inheritance will be a marital asset, but personally if this marriage has run its course I’d rather be negotiating the split of £125K cash now, then a home in 12 months time. You don’t sound happy with him at all.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 02/10/2021 14:30

That guardian article is excellent. That's what you want Op.

Once house paid off You'll own 70% and DH 30% - do it joint tenants in common.

I bet DH wants to put some into deposit that way, but still do it legally reflecting different deposit amounts..

Original poster
Livedandlearned · 02/10/2021 14:30

I said the same about his saving, he did save some before the compensation was paid so it's all mixed in.

I didn't know I would inherit this money until a few months ago or I would have stayed single if it meant protecting myself!

I will research tenants in common and discuss my options with my solicitor this week.

OP posts:
Wegobshite · 02/10/2021 14:33

Go Tennant in common so you both have your own percentage as you are putting in more he probably won’t want to do this as it means he can’t get 50 percent if you split up
make sure you have a will If you want to leave anything to your kids
Make sure you have a will that will state this is your wishes
Don’t rely on him leaving anything to your kids should you die

Cocomarine · 02/10/2021 14:37

@Wegobshite

Go Tennant in common so you both have your own percentage as you are putting in more he probably won’t want to do this as it means he can’t get 50 percent if you split up make sure you have a will If you want to leave anything to your kids Make sure you have a will that will state this is your wishes Don’t rely on him leaving anything to your kids should you die
That’s wrong. Tenants in Common will help if OP dies and wants to leave a greater share to her own children, sure. But it won’t that it’s ring fenced in a divorce, because all their assets, however earned, are included for negotiation.
Wegobshite · 02/10/2021 14:46

@Cocomarine sorry I read the OP post wrong initially
My mistake I was thinking of Death 😂😂

Cocomarine · 02/10/2021 14:48

@Wegobshite more control over assets in death than divorce 🤣

Wegobshite · 02/10/2021 14:57

@Cocomarine so because the OP is married
Tennants in common for her percentage of the house paid by her deposit will only help her if she wants it to go to her kids when she dies
But if they divorce it won’t matter who owns which percentage as they are married so it’s all in the pot

Is there no way the OP can protect her 100k because she is married

Fireflygal · 02/10/2021 17:17

Is there no way the OP can protect her 100k because she is married

Marriage is supposed to be 50/50 and depending on the length of marriage (plus cohabit) time before then divorce is usually 50% but many factors. Typically a judge would look to house both parties post divorce. Assets are deemed joint, but that includes any pension provision or savings.

Op, tell him that when you are his age you'll have more savings than he does now at his age! I imagine at 42 he was knee deep in debt.

Are you renting now?

bestsoupintown · 02/10/2021 17:28

I honestly would not buy a house with him. But it's good that you are going to discuss it with a solicitor to protect your money.

Alpinechalet · 03/10/2021 11:15

@HollowTalk

So he has savings because of his compensation, but that's not really savings, is it? He's saying you should've saved - why hasn't he saved?
If they own the house as tenants in common with a dead of trust allocating %, and the OP has a will allowing her DH a lifetime interest in the property she can leave her share of the house in her will to who ever she chooses.
Chloemol · 03/10/2021 11:19

I wouldn’t be buying a house with him

If you do then I like the 87500/12500 split and you share renovation costs as long as you are sure he will cough up

Whatever you do you need to draw up a legal document with your solicitor to protect your deposit

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 03/10/2021 11:23

Fucking hell op you cannot
Stop a controlling person from being controlling. They find other ways.

DON NOT make you inheritance a marital asset. Leave it where it is.

Cocomarine · 03/10/2021 12:15

@LorenzoVonMatterhorn

Fucking hell op you cannot Stop a controlling person from being controlling. They find other ways.

DON NOT make you inheritance a marital asset. Leave it where it is.

It already is a marital asset.
timeisnotaline · 03/10/2021 12:27

I agree the op needs to first check if the inheritance is a marital asset as is, or only becomes one when used to pay for the family home.

He’s got a nerve referring to his compensation claim as savings and having a go at you for not having saved though!

RandomMess · 03/10/2021 12:31

Get legal advice fast. I believe that if inherited money is not used as family money it is protected in a divorce.

Potentially you could buy a buy to let and rent it out and keep that inheritance protected in the event of divorce and could go directly to your DC upon your death.

If you did that would you be able to pay halves on renting with your DH?

Cocomarine · 03/10/2021 12:39

@RandomMess

Get legal advice fast. I believe that if inherited money is not used as family money it is protected in a divorce.

Potentially you could buy a buy to let and rent it out and keep that inheritance protected in the event of divorce and could go directly to your DC upon your death.

If you did that would you be able to pay halves on renting with your DH?

That not true. You’re right that you definitely have a stronger case to have it excluded if there is no “inter mingling”.

But if the profit from the BTL is then contributed into living expenses for the family, then his solicitor could argue that’s intermingling anyway.

Even without intermingling, the primary aim of the court in a settlement is to meet everyone’s needs in a fair way. In which case, they might rule that as OP has £100K inheritance, she gets no share of the uncontroversial marital assets. Which is in effect the same as throwing things into the pot.

Rgy3250999 · 03/10/2021 13:31

OP are you able to put down your £100k and take the mortgage on in your name only, so the property is technically all yours. Yes you might not be able to make it ‘lovely’ without saving up again but don’t underestimate the feeling of having something that is all yours.

RandomMess · 03/10/2021 13:39

Cocomaine hence I said to get legal advice. I never said to use the rent to contribute to living costs - that would be to pay off any mortgage, make improvements etc. Yes it needs to be kept entirely separate.

If they continue to rent or buy together then potentially the op would be better off as she will have her own home, whereas the marital one may not give her anything and her DH get it but as the higher earner he is likely to have contributed more anyway. It's an option for the op to consider.

Original poster
Livedandlearned · 03/10/2021 13:40

OP are you able to put down your £100k and take the mortgage on in your name only, so the property is technically all yours. Yes you might not be able to make it ‘lovely’ without saving up again but don’t underestimate the feeling of having something that is all yours.

I have been thinking this, I will find out

OP posts:
RandomMess · 03/10/2021 13:41

@Rgy3250999 that doesn't work because they are married if it was all in her name and she paid for it but they lived in it then it would be a marital asset because they both benefitted from the house as a married couple.

Swipe left for the next trending thread