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Original poster

How much is in your "escape fund"?

82 replies

AllAroundTheWorldYeah · 25/08/2021 07:57

I know many women keep some money in a separate account just in case things go tits up in their relationship. If you do this then how much is in it and why that amount?

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 28/08/2021 10:51

£10,000.00. And it’s not in a bank so solicitors will never find it 😉

Trisolaris · 28/08/2021 10:55

I made it clear to my dp that I always want to have my own money and that he should take it as a compliment because it means that I’m always in a position that I’m choosing to be with him, never that I feel I can’t cope on my own.

PostMenPatWithACat · 28/08/2021 11:02

I have always had my own money but aside from that my mother would help in extremis.

No an escape fund as such but many years ago (we have never had a joint account) dh transferred a significant sum to get the family through 6 months in the event that anything happened to him.

StarfishDish · 28/08/2021 11:03

We have a joint account that we each put 3/4 of our wages in and this is where all the bills are paid. We then have a savings account we have together. And then our own separate accounts for us to spend as we wish.

That works for us Smile

PostMenPatWithACat · 28/08/2021 11:04

It's really sad to think there are people with nobody to help them so they are effectively trapped.

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 28/08/2021 11:07

I manage our finances and our savings are currently in accounts in only my name. So it’s DH who needs an escape fund Grin All he could access is our monthly grocery budget and even then he’d struggle to remember his pin.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 28/08/2021 11:14

We should be advising young women to always maintain their financial independence. No one should put themselves in a position where they can't afford to leave an abusive or unhappy relationship.

Not necessarily enough to maintain the same standard of living, but everyone should have access to their own money and keep their own savings.

It also means keeping yourself employable.

It is not pointless to continue working even if you earn less than the child care bill. It is an investment in your future and one than a nice non-controlling husband should be supportive of wherever possible.

Personally I don't have an escape fund as such but we both have separate money (as well as a joint account). I have my own salary, my own savings plus a credit card with a large limit for emergencies. If I needed to leave I could. Equally those resources are available for family emergencies too.

Obviously there are times when this isn't possible, for example when one partner is unable to work or where a child has a disability that mean they need full time care and that is where a bit more thought and planning is required.

KaptainKaveman · 28/08/2021 11:22

About £100k liquid.

EggT0astBanana4 · 28/08/2021 12:17

I read recently that train fares are free for anyone escaping domestic abuse in UK
Sorry, I can remember which news article it was in

Welshiefluff · 28/08/2021 12:37

About tree fiddy.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 28/08/2021 13:06

@EggT0astBanana4

I read recently that train fares are free for anyone escaping domestic abuse in UK Sorry, I can remember which news article it was in
Yes , it's a great initiative but it still takes a while to set up/ sort so it doesn't work for middle of the night/sudden flight.
Unfashionable · 28/08/2021 13:19

I don’t have a specific ‘escape fund’ but me & DP have separate finances so we are both financially independent, whatever happens. I have £10k+ in cash savings in my own name and an empty credit card with a £9k limit. Everyone should have their own savings in their own name, irrespective of gender.

Mybalconyiscracking · 28/08/2021 13:33

I don’t have anything, I trust my husband and he would be very hurt if he thought I had to hide this kind of thing from him.

Ninkanink · 28/08/2021 13:44

I trust my husband implicitly. He is a fantastic man, kind and honourable and a better person by far than I am. He wouldn’t be hurt if he found out I had a secret fund. He believes it absolutely is the right thing for every woman to have her own funds, including me & my daughters.

As it happens my savings don’t actually need to be secret. But for many women that absolutely is the much safer option. A lot of women have very good reasons not to trust men 100%.

User56439876 · 28/08/2021 13:55

You should have your own funds anyway in case one of you dies, aren't bank accounts frozen on death so it could be difficult if everything was in one sole account of the one who dies.

MsSquiz · 28/08/2021 14:00

I have around £10k in my savings account, but we also have a pre nup stating he won't touch My personal accounts and I won't touch certain accounts of his when divorcing, and he would have much more to lose than me if he wanted to back out of that clause

MsSquiz · 28/08/2021 14:02

I also have £60k invested that he won't go after, but again, he would have a lot more to lose than me!

YellowWalls33 · 28/08/2021 19:03

@MayorGoodwaysChicken

I manage our finances and our savings are currently in accounts in only my name. So it’s DH who needs an escape fund Grin All he could access is our monthly grocery budget and even then he’d struggle to remember his pin.
Snap!! Except my DH doesn't even have a card to our 'joint' account so he would effectively have only his own salary.

Personally I have £50k in cash in an account. Plus various shares I could cash in. I also have a credit card with £12k limit but a zero balance - useful for emergencies.

My DH has no savings.

We are both high earners but he chooses to spend his every month.

Maybe one day soon I will too!

lachy · 28/08/2021 20:46

I have a small "fuck it" fund. Its in cash, so not traceable. It is hidden in plain sight.

I've no plans to leave DH in the slightest but I keep dropping a tenner or twenty quid in every so often. There's just under 2.5K.

DH has his fund in an old toffee tin in all his fishing gear!

Original poster
AllAroundTheWorldYeah · 28/08/2021 21:47

@Mybalconyiscracking

I don’t have anything, I trust my husband and he would be very hurt if he thought I had to hide this kind of thing from him.
You don't need to hide it though. I just told my husband that I'd like to move some of our savings to my personal account in case I need money and he's unavailable. We trust each other so he readily agreed.
OP posts:
Twobigsapphires · 28/08/2021 21:51

I don’t have a runnaway fund anymore now I’m married to someone who treats me well and isn’t an asshole with money. But I do have my own account and savings which dh knows about.
I did have one with my first Dh, saved about 3k before I left him.

brittleheadgirl · 28/08/2021 21:53

@Originally

I have half a house, two db pensions and tens of thousands in savings.

But I've always been the rich one in my relationship. I think DH has about £3k in an ISA, bless him.

Yuk, what a horrible comment about your dh. Totally insensitive too, there's many on here who could only dream of having 3k saved up, it's a potentially life changing amount.
museumum · 28/08/2021 21:57

My income comes to my account first then I transfer the family/household money to a joint account. So if I needed to “escape” I’d just cancel that standing order.
I also have an ISA intended to top up my pension fund but could obviously be raised in an emergency.
Dh has the same arrangement so he could “escape” too.

lunar1 · 28/08/2021 22:02

When I was pregnant with ds1 we had to relocate for DH's job. We were fed up of renting so scraped together everything we had in savings to get the deposit together to buy a house.

I became a SAHM as DH's registrar rotation was necessary crazy hours.

DH put his wages into a joint account and set us up each an isa that an equal amount of savings per month went into each. He called it my escape fund as I'd paused my career for his.

Now we are both working we do the same with both wages. We have equal personal savings.

NiceTwin · 28/08/2021 22:04

I have 2k in my savings account, I put into that every month.
I also have 8k in an ISA and still invest into that.

My dh knows I have these accounts, it is no secret.

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