Who pays for what in your relationship?

[Rach2021]

I was wondering how other households work.
How do you pay for everything in the house (ie rent/mortgage/bills/foodshop/car insurance ect) and then how do you pay for days out/dates/holidays ect.

I'd like to see scenarios from both partners working and 1 working 1 at home.

Thanks

Rach

We each have our own bank accounts and each put in money for bills and then we have our own accounts

I would never put myself in a position of feeling like I had to ask someone else for money

My mum always said never rely on anyone else financially always make sure you have your own money which has proved excellent advice in the past

Money all in together we don’t have separate money at all, haven’t done so even before we were married.

All our earnings go into a joint account and everything comes out of that. I’m the higher earner by a fair amount.

If either of us wanted to make a big purchase, would discuss first but so far (in 10 years together) it’s never been an issue.

@Chicchicchicchiclana

How can 1 at home not working contribute anything?

They can’t but it’s no ones business but the couples….

We both work full time and pay a set amount into our joint account every month and bills etc come out of that. We would usually pay for outings etc out of that too or would take 'turns about.'

No joint account, I have access to both mine and my partners account and make sure everything we need is paid for somehow also our money is considered to be pooled so it doesn't matter whose account money comes out of.

This was while one of us was working, both of us and neither of us.

When both worked:
We both had an account.
Then a middle account.
Bills come from middle account. We both transfer half bill total I to middle account, except for personal bills like phones or car.

When I didn't work and stayed home with daughter:
1 joint account. (I kept.my.own personal account too but just for Child Benefit to save for things she needed.

We both work full time, we have a joint account and we pay the same amount in each month. It covers all the household bills, food, days out, stuff for the kids.

Besides that we have our remaining money in our own accounts for whatever. I have debt just now which i’m slowly paying off, DH doesn’t. Once my debt is gone we’ll both roughly have the same in wages and outgoings so will probably lump everything into the joint account and just use that for everything.

Guy here - I cover everything. She's a SAHM, but if ever she decides to get back to work, whatever she earns is hers unless she wants to pay for something.

We put money in a joint bank account and spend it as needed. We discuss big purchases in advance. Sometimes I earn more, sometimes he earns more. It doesn’t matter. We are economic partners whose main goal is to provide a stable household for our child and give her the best start in life possible.

Both working
No mortgage (paid off)
No loans / debt
Early roughly the same

DH - school fees, rates, gas, electric, insurance, management fees
Me: food, kids activities and clothes, holidays, pet insurance, my private health insurance

We share everything. No separate bank accounts.

DH earns x4 what I do because he had the luxury of opting out of family life and devoting himself to his career. I was the one who stayed at home and raised 3 DC by myself, including 1 with SEN who had to drop out of mainstream education.

Now I'm working again, my salary is my own to do as I please with.

Partners, living together, each with own DC, who are all past the age of needing any stay-at-home parent. Mine lives with us.

Our financial situation is radically different. I own my own house, where we both live, have assets of around 1million, while he has always rented before moving in with me, and has a few thousand in savings, which falls to zero sometimes. We both work full time, but I earn about eight times more than him. His work is highly skilled but freelance and dries up completely sometimes. Our attitude to money is also different. He spends on things I wouldn't, despite having much less. While I give money to official charities, he gives a significant amount away to support people less well off within his family and community (a far larger proportion of what he has available and sometimes more than he has available).

Our finances are separate and if we get married there will be a prenuptial agreement. He contributes £500 a month to bills, plus pays for small random things if he is the one buying them. Probably pays about a third of date night expenses. He pays for his own DC maintenance, all his own personal expenses and gifts, including for me, my daughter and my family, which he insists on. I pay the mortgage and all house improvement/maintenance expenses, so it is clear that it is my house. I pay all my and my DC expenses. I contribute roughly 95 percent to big stuff like buying new cars we both use, all major grocery shopping, all unexpected expenses etc.

He is a wonderful SD to my child, and loads of garden and house maintenance work, and he is an amazing, wonderful man, so I and my DD are hugely better off emotionally and practically having him in our lives.

Nevertheless, money is by far our most sensitive, vulnerable area as a couple. It is the one thing we don't talk about easily (as he has a lot of shame) and it is my only concern about making the move to get married. Not because I mind him not having money, but because I think he would become very unhappy if he felt like a 'kept man'... yet it's impossible, for now at least, for him truly to contribute 50/50.

@pasadeda

If you are both open about income, outgoings, savings etc you don't need a joint account. We just buy /pay as needed with me contributing more as I earn more.

We are completely open about income, outgoings etc and although may not NEED a joint account we just find it so much easier to have one.

We opened a joint account when we got married 40 years ago and ALL money goes in there. It works for us.

There have been times when DH was the higher earner, times when I was the higher earner, times when he did not work, times when I worked part time and now he still works full time but I am retired.

I stopped working because of ill health and until I was entitled to state pension I earned nothing (3 years). Would have been a bit pointless then to have separate accounts as no money would have been going into mine!

I work v part time out of choice. Husband totally supportive of this.

He pays for mortgage, household bills, holidays, days out, some food, house maintenance, fuel for cars, fortnightly cleaner etc.
I pay for my dog, my car insurance, mobile phone, most groceries, my hobbies, treats for us here and there……….

He loves looking after me and I’m very happy to have flexibility and choice in how I spend my days.

It works in part, as he feels he always worked full time and paid mortgage etc on his flat before I came along, so he’s happy with the status quo.
Due to purchase the next house soon and I’ll be legal owner 50/50 with him on that.

I am happy and appreciative every day of my situation.

@Apeirogon

All money completely shared. Same when we are both working and when I was a SAHM.

Same, all goes into one pot which all bills come out of.

We have a credit card each that we use if we do things separately, but if we're together it generally goes on the joint account... I'm the only one who carries a card, so it always looks like I'm paying

We've had a joint account since we moved in together after a year. Always just paid both our wages in there, weve always just split all bills equally using the joint account and spend the rest between us however we decide.
I assumed this was normal but maybe not!

My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We have a joint bank account and all
money from all sources goes into that. We pay all bills including mortgage, electricity, phones etc. from that main account. We have an agreed budget for food shopping plus deposit a set amount into another joint savings account each pay cycle. From what is left over, we each take some personal money for things like clothes, haircuts, gifts etc. my allowance is more than double my husbands because I buy for the children most of the time too.

For most of our relationship, I have worked full time too. Since having children it has changed. I had 8 months off after my first was born, then returned to work 2 days a week until my second was born. I then didn't return to work until my 3rd baby was 1, and even then only work one day a week. None of that has changed the way we share expenses and finances. I might be bringing in less money, but I am supporting my husband's career by doing the bulk of child care and housework. When my children are all in school, I will return to full time work.

We view our finances as shared, so we don't keep tabs on who pays for what and we never 'owe' each other money as it's all ours combined. But we have separate bank accounts (makes our taxes easier) and DH earns 9x my income, so he pays for regular bills out of the account his salary goes into. He transfers money to both of our spending accounts, and I pay for groceries, childcare, most kids stuff, days out and clothes out of that. He tends to pay for holidays and meals and expenses when we go out. But sometimes I've booked our holidays too, because I've had more time to research it, and he just tops up my spending account if I've spent more than usual. We don't discuss big purchases except household items and that is more about specs than cost. Before we were married, DH paid for all dates and holidays.

My husbands pays for all household bills (mortgage, cars, electric, oil, insurances, mobiles)
I pay childcare and the food shops.

Everything else is just whoever, whenever.

*husband
...one is plenty

OH pays all the bills.

I pay for the food shop, all costs associated with dd (school dinners,childcare, clubs ,uniform etc) and whatever I need.

Days out tends to be, whomever organises it they pay. Or one pays tickets and the other food. It's not really an issue tbh.

Both working, separate accounts.
We pay 50/50 on rent and house related bills (water/gas/electric etc). Groceries 50/50
He pays for cable/phone bills and I pay for both our car insurances (works out approx the same).
Take in turns with days/nights out
We earn approximately the same but I have considerable savings so usually pay a little more

@Chicchicchicchiclana

How can 1 at home not working contribute anything?

Are you having a laugh? Is this really a genuine question?