@N4m3Change
No ive payed the mortgage in full for 9 years!
The house needs lots doing to it, new windows, kitchen, bathroom ect and that brings the value of the property down...it would get about 10k equity I reckon max, that will be split 50 50
If you've been paying the mortgage for 9 years, and you both owned it for a year or so before that, there should be more than £10,000 equity, OP.
A typical length mortgage is paid off in 25 years, so you'd be almost half-way through it, so you must have more than you think, even regardless of the stuff that needs doing.
Your ex shouldn't get 50% of the equity if you've been paying the whole repayments for 9 years.
So you spend about £78 on clubs each month - what CM do you get? Has that been reviewed at all since you split?
What you need is to cost out absolutely everything (there's a good budget planner over on MSE) and work out how much you need to spend over a whole year. Then work back. So a monthly amount put by for Christmas, birthdays, clothes & uniform and so on. Then when you do put your money into savings you know exactly what its purpose is - this savings pot is for Christmas & Birthdays, this one is for if the washing machine blows up or the boiler goes, this one is for spending on fun stuff. That stops you taking it out and spending it on toys etc because you can see, if I spend this £15 then I won't have enough in my birthday pot.
I think if you only have £1,200 'spare' every year, with 3 growing kids and a house, then you are really tight for money and you need to maybe think if you're spending on the right things.
Btw, if something needs repairing in the house, your ex should be contributing as he's still on the mortgage.