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Original poster

Nothing in the pot

43 replies

N4m3Change · 25/03/2021 14:11

So im a single mum to 3 primary aged children. I think im pretty rubbish with money tbh, as in I dont save. As much as I want/need to if the money is there I tend to spend it...I dont spend it on rubbish or on myself more often than not its on clothes for my kids or toys. They want for nothing really. The money comes from my wage, UC, CB and CM. My mortgage, kids clubs and bills come to about 1800 a month and I have about 100 a month spare after all that. I put 15 a week away to attempt to save but I can easliy just tap into it and thats what I usually do if i need to. If I ever had an emergency that costly I wouldn't have no way of paying it and I have no family to ask if I really needed to. Parents died when I was younger and we wasnt a big family.
My ex is still on the mortgage and he wants off understandably but I cant afford to move out or rent. My credit rating is at the lowest it can be, I cant even renew my phone contract, even though I can afford it.
I want to do my garden up but cant afford to and it would take years for me to save to do so! I do t know what advice im after im just wondering if im on my own or theres somone in a similar situation who can offer and advice??

OP posts:

StephenBelafonte · 25/03/2021 21:18

Don't feel stupid. I'm 56 and have only recently got myself educated on finance. Every days a school day!

Original poster

N4m3Change · 25/03/2021 21:38

Haha, thanks for making me feel better.
Ive just applied for the 30 hours free childcare, that will save me 112 a month until he starts reception.
Ive got a code to give to my boss ( I work at the nursery my son attends) do I just give him that and thats it? When is the best time to stop my direct debit for childcare?

OP posts:

HmmmmmmInteresting · 26/03/2021 18:02

I'm surprised your boss hasn't given you this info!

StephenBelafonte · 26/03/2021 18:05

I'm surprised your boss hasn't given you this info!

You think bosses should give financial advice? Why? Are they even qualified to do so?

Original poster

N4m3Change · 26/03/2021 18:16

They arn't obliged to do so, it actually says this on the gov website!

But tbf he has actually mentioned it before to me and he has given me lots of financial advice....

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 26/03/2021 18:16

@StephenBelafonte

I'm surprised your boss hasn't given you this info!

You think bosses should give financial advice? Why? Are they even qualified to do so?

Because the OP works in a nursery, and has a child in the same nursery, and so her boss would be well-placed to advise about tax-free childcare accounts.

I think it’s a bit surprising too - I’d expect OP to know about it and the boss to point out she was entitled to it. Just in a ‘did you know you’re entitled?’ way.

NoSquirrels · 26/03/2021 18:17

X-posted with OP

unicornsarereal72 · 26/03/2021 19:56

I would go through all your bills. Meal plan for the week. When you buy something is it a want or a need. If it is a want put it back. Look into the help to save account. You can save up to £50 a month and after two year you get half of whatever you have saved added to the account.

When my ex left I was left with joint debt running costs of the house/kids and no child support. It was tight. And I was very lucky I had family pay for things like swimming and school shoes. That was a while ago now. But I still struggle to buy things we don't need.

BlueCowWonders · 26/03/2021 20:33

This bit of the OP stood out for me
if the money is there I tend to spend it...I dont spend it on rubbish or on myself more often than not its on clothes for my kids or toys. They want for nothing really

It feels like you're prioritsing keeping your dc happy now rather than securing your future. You've had some really good advice already so now you've got to work on getting some savings behind you. Sell any outgrown clothes and toys and put the money aside.. Don't buy anything new for a set period (3 months?) to really focus on building up some savings.
You've already started to change your mindset with this thread so keep the momentum going.

Original poster

N4m3Change · 26/03/2021 21:26

BlueCowWonders

Yes, I think you’re right, I think im trying to make up for the years I was rockbotttom and couldnt afford even an ice cream for the kids once in a while.

Il certainly try the 3 month ban on new things. Apart from my sons bday in May...il start saving for that...luckily parties are a no no at tge moment so im saving on that I suppose. Thanks for all the advice so far...

OP posts:

1AngelicFruitCake · 28/03/2021 11:18

Try not to confuse buying something for them with showing them love. You sound like a lovely Mum. If you saw me as a school mum you’d think my children had loads but it’s all priorities (easy for me to say I know as at the moment I’m in a secure financial position) BUT I don’t buy my children an ice cream every time, look for free activities, get things from charity shops or gumtree. I accept secondhand clothes if offered. I spend on after school activities but then not on loads of other things their friends seem to have. I know that not overspending day to day means a better treat further down the line. It’s hard though, I want my children to have everything!

MrsWombat · 28/03/2021 12:08

Two things, take a look at the Dave Ramsey method to get you focused. There are a few UK facebook groups to help get you motivated.

Also long term, take a look at the £10 a day thread on this board. There are a few options on there if you have a laptop. My favourites are Crisp Thinking, Utest and Appen. Rev, mentioned above is also similar.

Do the kids ever go to their dad? Can you do babysitting at the weekends when you are childfree? (Probably not now but when things are "back to normal" and parents want a night out again, but it will give you time to get a facebook page sorted)

Original poster

N4m3Change · 28/03/2021 13:40

Thanks for the suggestions. And I work with children through the day then come home to my 3 in the evenings...when the kids go to their dads the last thing I want to do is look after more, no amount of money would help with that!

I will take a look at the 10 a day thread and Dave Ramsey, thank you

OP posts:

1AngelicFruitCake · 28/03/2021 15:18

Just re-read my message, what I was trying to say was like you I prioritise after school Clubs but I avoid spending as much on other extras. It’s hard though. The other families we know seem to have loads of disposable income!

newbiemumof4 · 07/04/2021 14:48

Hi, this sounds like a really difficult situation and you've had lots of great advice from the others. Something to think about, as you already work in a nursery, have you thought of registering as a childminder? You'd be able to work more hours without it adding to your childcare bills and you'd still be able to be there for yourzs without relying on help from Dad's etc. Its not a quick fix as registering can take a while but please think of it.

HermioneWeasley · 09/04/2021 15:45

I disagree with the poster who said to save it in your pension- you’re not a higher rate tax payer and even with a basic employer pension plus state pension, you’ll have a reasonable replacement ratio. The priority now is to put some savings aside and to get your credit rating better.

I think I saw you say you’re going to be £112 a month better off, so that goes straight to saving or paying off debt. Set up a separate account that you have a direct debit to and a min 30 days notice to withdraw funds so you can’t tap into it. Once you have a decent pot of savings (min enough to cover 3 months living expenses plus a big cost like the boiler breaking) you can look at your pension.

Also, depending on how good you are at planning, have a think about saving through the year for big expenses, out of the £100 a month your currently have - eg: putting money aside every month for Xmas or days out

LakieLady · 10/04/2021 09:26

Given house price inflation over the last few years, and the fact that you should be making significant inroads into capital by now, I'd be very surprised if your equity was still only £10k OP.

Also, condition doesn't necessarily mean a house is worth shedloads less. A lot of buyers will rip out kitchens and bathrooms just because they don't like them, so regard it as just one of the expenses of moving.

I'd get a couple of agents round to give you an up-to-date valuation. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Are you on the best possible mortgage deal? I realise it will be hard to get your ex's consent to a new mortgage if he wants his equity out, but it may be worth looking at what deals are available. You may find you can borrow a bit more, pay him off and still have lower repayments. Or it may be possible for you to move to somewhere cheaper.

You'd probably need to go via a broker, because of your poor credit rating, but it's not impossible.

And, stating the bleeding obvious, but is there any chance you could get a better paid job elswhere? Or any chance of promotion where you are?

Avidreader12 · 10/04/2021 12:36

If you can start saving by reducing expenditure, help to save scheme is available when on universal credit... Save between 1-50 per month over 4 years you get bonus at 2 and 4th year. 1st Bonus is 50% of highest balance you’ve saved. 2nd bonus is 50% off difference between 2 balances year 1-2 and year 3-4. Basically if you save max 50 month for 4 years (2400) you can get 1200 paid in bonus money.

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