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Original poster

Estranged father died - do my siblings and I have any claim?

103 replies

Himsy · 16/02/2021 17:38

Sorry for blunt title, it is what it is.

My parents divorced when my two siblings and I were young (7,9,11). My father left my mother to it, didn't pay child support for as long as he could get away with, saw us children once or twice a year til the youngest was 16, then we didn't see him. I present this info to explain that our estrangement is no fault of us children (obviously we are all now adults).
My father's second wife (since divorced from him) got in touch with me a few years ago urging me to give him a chance to meet my children. I don't know why, but I did oblige. Then she divorced him. Later that year (2019) he told me he'd taken her off his will and was naming me (though not my siblings) as benefactor. I'd have split with them. Soon after, he and I had a disagreement, and he cut contact.

Xmas 2020 he died.

His sister informed me that her son was now executor. I have no relationship with any of them as they weren't involved with us as children.

So, it's been six weeks since he died, I guess I assume I'm out of the will?

My mother says as estranged children we can contest his will. Is this so?

We aren't talking a huge amount - maybe £50k each, so big enough to really help us out.

My cousins are both comfortable, as are their parents. (I don't know if they've been named as beneficiaries, but I don't know who else he'd leave anything to).
My siblings and I are not well off. I'm also going through a divorce and struggling now as a single mother.

Is it worth contesting?

If so, what do I do?

OP posts:
DinoHat · 17/02/2021 11:53

@BlueTimes

If you are in England and your grounds are purely that he is your father but has left money to others and not you, then you don’t have a case. There is no obligation to leave anything to anyone in particular.

I’m sorry he was such a bad father to you.

This
NeedToGetOuttaHere · 17/02/2021 13:18

I think my DF did the decent thing, although he was estranged for almost 30 years from his DC (my sibling) he didn’t leave a will. So his estate was divided between the two of us.

Viviennemary · 17/02/2021 13:25

I doubt you'd have a claim under English law if you are not named in the will. In Scotland I believe children can claim a third of cash but not property. AFAIK.

Original poster
Himsy · 17/02/2021 15:35

Thanks, everybody.

Sorry for previous typos.

OP posts:
MrsBrunch · 17/02/2021 17:04

You just really need to find out if there was a will or not, that's the first step. Then come back here for advice if you need it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/02/2021 07:15

So your aunt told your your cousin is thr executor , where you were of the old will

So this must be in writing somewhere. Prob the will

Just ask to see a copy of the will

FuckyouBrennan · 20/02/2021 07:22

Sorry but I think this is all wrong. I wouldn’t want a penny from this man.

StrangerHereMyself · 20/02/2021 07:30

Estrangement is neither here nor there when it comes to the intestacy rules. Equally, if you or your siblings had died before you had spouses or children then he would have been entitled to half your estates.

Any will he made before his divorce would remain valid except that elements relating to his ex-wife would fail - how exactly that would work depends on the precise wording. Specific bequests to his stepson would remain valid. But it sounds as if he did make at least one will after divorce. You need to find out what was in that will.

I agree with everyone else that claiming on the estate for the decades of unpaid maintenance is sadly not worth doing.

Original poster
Himsy · 20/02/2021 09:47

@FuckyouBrennan

Sorry but I think this is all wrong. I wouldn’t want a penny from this man.
Oh to have the luxury of not wanting money.

He was a useless, unkind, selfish father. My view is that the least he could have done, seeing as he can't take it with him, his at least give a financial boost to his own flesh and blood.
I'm struggling right now, getting divorced, relocating, struggling to get a job. £50k would take a HUGE stress off my plate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Himsy · 20/02/2021 09:48

@Blondeshavemorefun

So your aunt told your your cousin is thr executor , where you were of the old will

So this must be in writing somewhere. Prob the will

Just ask to see a copy of the will

Ask the aunt? Or a solicitor?
OP posts:
Charley50 · 20/02/2021 09:51

@Binglebong

The register is optional and not much used. Worth checking but just because it doesn't have one listed then it doesn't mean none exist.
Is it optional in England? I thought if you had to apply for probate the govt automatically added the will to the public register?
Mindymomo · 20/02/2021 10:02

Ask your aunt for her sons contact details, as Executor he should be able to tell you what is in The Will. There must be a Will, if he knows he is Executor. If he has applied for Probate, then the original Will would have had to be sent off with Probate, but he should have made copies before sending original off. This is in Uk and what I had to do recently.

I would either write to your cousin or send text, saying I appreciate that I may not be mentioned in the Will, but that he always said you would be left something.

Wills are available online after Probate has been issued but I don’t know how long you would have to wait till it’s available.

SionnachGlic · 20/02/2021 10:04

Make an appointment with a solicitor first thing on Mon. There is alot of incorrect & misleading information on here about inheritance. You need your solicitor to write to the estate solicitor to formally enquire about your late father's estate, the existence of a Will & who are the named beneficiaries. Misinformation/misunderstanding in phone conversations can later become 'he said/she said etc'. It needs to be in writing & also not from a conflicted source...i.e. your Aunt who presumably would like this 'document' to stand as her son benefits rather than estranged children. I'm not UK based but a Will is not a public document & not everybody who asks is entitled to see it. And in an intestacy, not everyone can claim as PP has said... there are very strict rules of entitlement...1.spouse 2. children (incl legally adopted) 3. parents 4. siblings..& it goes on until there is no-one left but the state. Please get proper legal advice.

MrsBrunch · 20/02/2021 11:06

Go through a solicitor OP. You father could have just told the cousin he was making him executor of his will, that doesn't mean he actually did it. You need to establish if there was a will.

Binglebong · 20/02/2021 11:07

Is it optional in England? I thought if you had to apply for probate the govt automatically added the will to the public register?

I'm talking about the one people can put a will on to say they have a will stored at X. Not the one where probate has been granted, which is automatic.

Original poster
Himsy · 20/02/2021 19:43

@SionnachGlic

Make an appointment with a solicitor first thing on Mon. There is alot of incorrect & misleading information on here about inheritance. You need your solicitor to write to the estate solicitor to formally enquire about your late father's estate, the existence of a Will & who are the named beneficiaries. Misinformation/misunderstanding in phone conversations can later become 'he said/she said etc'. It needs to be in writing & also not from a conflicted source...i.e. your Aunt who presumably would like this 'document' to stand as her son benefits rather than estranged children. I'm not UK based but a Will is not a public document & not everybody who asks is entitled to see it. And in an intestacy, not everyone can claim as PP has said... there are very strict rules of entitlement...1.spouse 2. children (incl legally adopted) 3. parents 4. siblings..& it goes on until there is no-one left but the state. Please get proper legal advice.
Thanks. How do I find out who the estate solicitor is?
OP posts:
ShellieEllie · 20/02/2021 21:59

I would be asking if there is a will. If not, then as a child you will be a beneficiary.

Brahumbug · 22/02/2021 18:26

"I'm not UK based but a Will is not a public document & not everybody who asks is entitled to see it."
That is complete nonsense, a will is a public document in the UK. I have applied for a copy of more than one will before now.

PegasusReturns · 28/02/2021 10:54

@SionnachGlic the irony of complaining about incorrect advice then giving incorrect advice Hmm

@Gingernaut advice is good. Get in touch with the cousin. At this stage you’ve got no reason to believe there’s anything untoward going on.

Original poster
Himsy · 03/05/2021 15:14

Belated update.

Saw the Will. He specifically named me as excluded "for my political views and attempting to change his decision on who to vote for" (I'm left. He was a kipper. And as if I could change his mind! I did, however, suggest he read something other than the daily fail. Apparently that's enough to disinherit not only me, but his only grandchildren too.) He named his sister's grandchildren as beneficiaries. These children are set to inherit a LOT from their own grandparents, and are already comfortable. My two children, my father's only grandchildren, will receive nothing, and we are struggling as it is. He even went so far as to name my children as specifically NOT to inherit, too. They are five and ten, and named in a public document in this way.
He also named my two siblings, whom he deserted as children, as excluded as they "were estranged from him", like it was their fault for not repairing the damage he did to us all as children.

Oh well.

OP posts:
DinosaurDiana · 03/05/2021 15:17

I was told that I could only contest it if I was dependent upon the person.

DinosaurDiana · 03/05/2021 15:18

Sorry, just seen your update.
What can I say, what a git.

TunstallTansy · 03/05/2021 15:24

@Himsy how awful for you.

Sadly I've had to see my children's names on a document in similar circumstances. It's hard to express how much it hurts.

It felt to me like a final act of supreme cruelty and spite.

It was the final chance this person had to communicate with their family and this was what they chose to do.

I hope you're ok.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 03/05/2021 15:31

Can I ask a question of my own on the back of this one?

I went NC with my father 30 years ago. My mother later died & he remarried, to a woman with adult children who were NC with her (like attracts like, eh?). My father died a couple of years ago & as I wasn't contacted, I assume either I wasn't in the will or there was no will & so everything went to his wife.

She must be quite old now (not being ageist - I'm pretty old myself) & so what happens when she dies? Obviously if she leaves a will, she can leave the house etc to anyone she chooses & I'm damn certain it won't be me. But if there's no will, does it get divided amongst all the remaining children (me, DBro & her offspring) or does it only go to her children as she's the sole owner of the house now?

Notaroadrunner · 03/05/2021 15:33

It's a shame but hardly surprising seeing as you didn't have a relationship with him when he died. While he said he'd changed it to leave all to you, it seems that changing his will was based on the relationships he had at the time. He'd taken his second wife off, put you on. So by the time he died you were out of his life again and he had changed his will accordingly, as I assume he was in contact with his sister. Try not to let it eat you up as there's nothing you can do about it now and you'll only be annoying yourself by thinking about it.